Stories and Tales Directory
Our lives are filled with moments and memories and this is what this series of stories looks at and into. I write in a black and white fashion and yet my life is oft filled to the brim with grey. All the tales here are true, no fiction, just facts, you may find some humerous whilst others are purely recollections. They look at my life and the journeys l have undertaken to be the person of today.
I have always been clumsy, long before l knew l sat on the spectrum of autism with my Asperger’s syndrome, so many of the stories are filled with the ‘Duh Me’ moments of my travels. They look at my times when living in Malaysia and Australia as well as living in England. They reflect back on my times during the days of my careers such as catering, or when l worked within the adult industry as both an escort and as a writer for magazines, my times within retail and advertising, my days of travelling or even during the many years l worked my own business with the exotic livestock industry and there are some that sit in the very grey arena of mysterious and downright spooky when l tried my hand at ghost hunting. But also another series looks at the prankster in me.
Doin’ The Dirt is a gardening series concerning myself a brown fingered gardener as in composting and my partner Suze the green fingered gardener as in vegetable gardening.
Hopefully you will find some of these ‘musings’ as light hearted and fun reads. In essence they simply make up my life.
Stories and Tales Directory
Along Came the Spiders 1968
Ganga Gardening 1969
“Our Little Secret!” 1969
Butterfly Dipping 1969
The 9 Lives Theory 1969
Cold Broken Walls and Piles 1970
Ice Du Morgue! 1970
The Neon Riddle 1968 – 1971
Adventures with Henrietta the Huntsman 1973
Farming Gone Wrong 1973
Bugs vs. Ladybumps 1976
The Flat Furry Duck 1976/77
The Human Trout 1977
The 7 Left Shoes! 1973 – 1978
Fork Off! Fork Off! 1978
Killer Orgies at my School aka One Boob Too Many!! 1978
More Tea Headmaster? 1978
“The Incident – we shall not discuss this again!” 1978
Parental Invasion – The ultimate scare!! 1978
Everybody’s Squirrelling 1979
Mr Inappropriate Full Story 1979
If Anyone Knows, Warty Nose!! 1979
Jerk You Burk – In Service to the Queen 1980
Don’t Call Me Sir – Chef!! 1980
A Bold Decision 1980
Forever in Blue Jeans 1980
Stop Needling Me … PussyCat! 1980
The Lone Nutman 1981
France First, The World After 1981
Ducks Love Bread Sir! Honest! 1981
Whistling Up Red Cabbage Come Condom! 1981
Urban Eggheads – If You Go Down To The Woods Today ….. 1981
Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy! – I Cried Me A Lemon! 1982
The First Time Tickle 1982
The Dracula Tour 1983 – Full Story
Mars Calling! 1985
The Wall 1985
“It’s No Safe Here Constable!” The Full Story 1985
Fashion Passion – Pass The Peanuts Please 1986
Dental Express Nothing To Smile About!! 1989
Food is Food, However It Looks, Right? 1989
Bathtime Timetables – Trains, Ferries, Coaches! 1989-1991
The Art of Wearing only a Smile 1991
Accidental Entry 1991
From Dooalot to Doolittle 1993
Got You -The Challenging Bobo! 1993
Mr Burly’s Snug Fitting! 1993
I Carried a Watermelon 1# – Oh Myyyyyyyy God! 1995
A Right Pigs Ear 1997
The Great Escape – The Full Story 1997
Who Poopa Da Boots?? 1998
Run, Skip and Hop Degu 1999
The Sex Tape 2001
Ding Dong The Witch Might Not Be Dead! 2001
What a Right Randy Rupert! 2001
Hot Chilli Kat 2001
Magical Moments … well for me anyway! 2001
Barking Mad Minis – Broken N 2! 2002
Sulcata Knows Nose! 2003
That’s Just Baaad Pygmy 2003
Alpaca Right Now! 2003
Pepe Twas NOT Heavenly Scent! 2003
Mini – Series – Episode 1: There May Be Trouble A Head 2003
Mini – Series – Episode 2: We’re Only ‘Making Plans For Nigel!’ 2003
Mini – Series – Episode 3: Close Encounters of the Herd Kind! 2003
One Too Many Raccoons 2004
It’s a Fair Cop You Dirty Rat 2004
One Way or Another 2005
“You’re Gonna’ need a Bigger Boat Skip!!” Part 1 2007
“You’re Gonna’ need a Bigger Boat Skip!!” Part 2 2007
Even Grim Can Be Funny 2009
14 – 48 Yesterdays’ Bombshells 2010
What A Dilemma – The Sequel 2009 – 2012
50+ First Dates Didn’t Prepare Me for … … dating at 50! 2013
Things That Go Bum In The Night! 2014
Rabbit Testicles, Frog Droppings!! 2015
The Wet Patch 2015
Hashtag Hash!! 2015
Little Georgie 2017
What – Did She Just Say That?? 2018
Warts And All Boar 2018
The Elusive Farting Goat 2018
Bear Necessities 2018
Don’t Call Me Gym! 2018
Doin’ The Dirt … Eh 2018
STILL TO COME
Millennium Fairy Tales!
Shirt, Tie and Runaway Blazer!
Congo Millenium Style
Am Not Bot
Passport Control Greek Style
Dog Food Party!
Cows a Running!
Blue Skies Above?
The Archers of Malibu!
First Date Jitters
Not That Wire Mr Frizzy!
A Butterfly Too Far!
Cobras On The Wind!
Heads’ Up Skiing Antics Before First Date Disaster!
There Be Cows In Those Fields Skipper!
Nothing Beats A Big Fry Up
The Mad Chef of Ockley!
Shredded Finger Chef?
Cooking Gone Wong!