Secret Journal Musings


This series will look at some of the biggest ‘Duh Me’ moments in my life! The Oopsy Daisies, the ‘You have got to be kidding me’s’, the dumb as a box of rocks and a few sandwiches short of a picnic hamper occasions, when even l surprise myself!!

I am a walking disaster at times, can get lost going around the corner, a total Accidental Aspergian, the guy who steps into the manhole, or the puddle that wasn’t one! Not all of them, are rip roaringly funny, some are just atypically really, really bad luck, but l am not always surprised at that, it’s my life!

In this series will be …. sadly all true!



Fork Off! Fork Off! 1978

Everybody’s Squirrelling 1979

Jerk You Burk – In Service to the Queen 1980

Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy! – I Cried Me A Lemon! 1982

Mars Calling! 1985

“It’s No Safe Here Constable!” 1985 Part 1

“It’s No Safe Here Constable!” – 1985 Part 2

Fashion Passion – Pass The Peanuts Please 1986

Dental Express Nothing To Smile About!! 1989

I Carried a Watermelon 1# – Oh Myyyyyyyy God! 1995

Barking Mad Minis – Broken N 2! 2002

One Way or Another 2003

One Too Many Raccoons 2004

It’s a Fair Cop You Dirty Rat 2004

Rabbit Testicles, Frog Droppings!! 2015

The Wet Patch 2015



Bathtime Timetables – Trains, Ferries, Coaches!

The Accidental Aspergian

Mr Inappropriate

Millennium Fairy Tales!

Ganga Gardening

Shirt, Tie and Runaway Blazer!

The 7 Left Shoes!

Oh Come On Eileen!

Run Ins With Wildlife!

Congo Millenium Style

Am Not Bot

Passport Control Greek Style

Dog Food Party!

Walk Like a Frog!

Cows a Running!

Blue Skies Above?

The Archers of Malibu!

Shitty Motorcross!

First Date Jitters

Not That Wire Mr Frizzy!

A Butterfly Too Far!

Diaphragmatically Problematic!

Cobras On The Wind!

Runaway, Runaway, WHOA!!

The Pony That Forgot That It WAS NOT A Horse!!

Heads’ Up Skiing AnticsBefore First Date Disaster!

There Be Cows In Those Fields Skipper!

German Tea Headmaster?





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