Stories and Tales Directory

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Stories and Tales Directory

Our lives are filled with moments and memories and this is what this series of stories looks at and into. I write in a black and white fashion and yet my life is oft filled to the brim with grey. All the tales here are true, no fiction, just facts, you may find some humerous whilst others are purely recollections. They look at my life and the journeys l have undertaken to be the person of today.

I have always been clumsy, long before l knew l sat on the spectrum of autism with my Asperger’s syndrome, so many of the stories are filled with the ‘Duh Me’ moments of my travels. They look at my times when living in Malaysia and Australia as well as living in England. They reflect back on my times during the days of my careers such as catering, or when l worked within the adult industry as both an escort and as a writer for magazines, my times within retail and advertising, my days of travelling or even during the many years l worked my own business with the exotic livestock industry and there are some that sit in the very grey arena of mysterious and downright spooky when l tried my hand at ghost hunting. But also another series looks at the prankster in me.

Doin’ The Dirt is a gardening series concerning myself a brown fingered gardener as in composting and my partner Suze the green fingered gardener as in vegetable gardening.

Hopefully you will find some of these ‘musings’ as light hearted and fun reads. In essence they simply make up my life.

Rory Matier

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Stories and Tales Directory

Born 1963

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Penned Date

Story Title

The stories in Blue have already been written up and added to the collection whilst those in purple are still to be added in.

1968 Along Came the Spiders
1969 Ganja Gardening
1969 “Our Little Secret!”
1969 Butterfly Dipping
1969 Splat!!
1969 The 9 Lives Theory
1969 Vegemite Boy!
1969 Cobras On The Wind
1970 Cold Broken Walls and Piles
1970 Ice Du Morgue!
1970
1970
1971 The Neon Riddle
1971
1971
1971
1972 Shitty Motorcross!
1972 Dandenong Hikey
1973 Adventures with Henrietta the Huntsman
1973 Farming Gone Wrong
1973
1973
1974 Heads’ Up Skiing Antics
1974
1974
1975 Gift
1975 Ping Pong the Garbage Collector
1976 Bugs vs. Ladybumps
1976 The Flat Furry Duck
1977
1977 The Human Trout
1977 Ping Pong The Garbage Collector
1977 Rockabilly High School
1977
1977
1977
1978 The 7 Left Shoes!
1978 Fork Off! Fork Off!
1978 Killer Orgies at my School aka One Boob Too Many!!
1978 More Tea Headmaster?
1978 “The Incident – we shall not discuss this again!”
1978 Parental Invasion – The ultimate scare!!
1978 Pandebamboomonium!
1978 Come Fly With Me
1978
1978
1978
1979 Everybody’s Squirrelling
1979 Mr Inappropriate Full Story
1979 If Anyone Knows, Warty Nose!!
1979 Ten Green Bottles And Then Some!
1979 A Roma Not Heaven Scent
1979 Let Me In, Dammit!
1979
1979
1979
1980 Jerk You Burk – In Service to the Queen
1980 Don’t Call Me Sir – Chef!!
1980 A Bold Decision
1980 Forever in Blue Jeans
1980 Stop Needling Me … PussyCat!
1980 Bubblewrap and Cottonwool
1980
1980
1980
1980
1981 The Mad Two Minute College Run!
1981 Slicky Slicky Oil Slicky
1981 Custard and Carrots Is Not Custard
1981 A Good Tonguing!
1981 Just Me and the Apron!
1981 France First, The World After
1981 Ducks Love Bread Sir! Honest!
1981 Whistling Up Red Cabbage Come Condom!
1981 Urban Eggheads – If You Go Down To The Woods Today
1981 The Lone Nutman
1981 My First Sex Party
1981
1981
1982 Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy! – I Cried Me A Lemon!
1982 The First Time Tickle
1982 Oh Come On Eileen – The Great Hike
1982 Nothing Beats A Big Fry Up
1982 The Red Hot Chilli Peppers!
1982
1982
1982
1982
1983 Nothing Quite Beats Pipe Music!
1983 The Dracula Tour
1983 Tanned Once Only!
1983 Ratcatcher’s Salami Sandwich!
1983 Not That Wire Mr Frizzy! 1
1983
1983
1983
1984 Passport Control Greek Style
1984 Assassin’s Speed!
1984 A Tipple Too Long – The Archers of Malibu!
1984 The Mad Chef of Ockley!
1984
1984
1984
1985 Mars Calling!
1985 The Wall
1985 “It’s No Safe Here Constable!” The Full Story
1985 Mon Dieu Sacré-Cœur Rollover Sunday
1985
1985
1985
1985
1986 Fashion Passion – Pass The Peanuts Please
1986 Not Just Crackers
1986
1986
1987 Dancing by my Numbers 1987
1987
1987 Topical Posts Directory- Autism & Mental Health
1988 Dancing by my Numbers 1988
1988
1989 Dental Express Nothing To Smile About!!
1989 Food is Food, However It Looks, Right?
1989 Bathtime Timetables – Trains, Ferries, Coaches!
1989
1989
1990 Still Life
1990
1990
1990
1991 The Art of Wearing only a Smile
1991 The Naked Strewthpidity of Camp Tantra 1
1991 The Naked Strewthpidity of Camp Tantra 2
1991 The Naked Strewthpidity of Camp Tantra 3

The Naked Strewthpidity of Camp Tantra 4

1991 Accidental Entry
1991 The Interview
1991 Escorting The Orgy!
1991 First Escort Jitters
1991 An Eye For An Eye
1991
1991
1991
1992 The Misfortunate Dwayne Bluter
1992
1992
1992
1993 Mr Burly’s Snug Fitting!
1993 Got You -The Challenging Bobo!
1993 From Dooalot to Doolittle
1993
1993
1993
1993
1993
1993
1994 When in doubt call for Man 10!
1994
1994
1994
1995 Oh Myyyyyyyy God!
1995
1995
1995
1996
1996
1996
1996
1997 A Right Pigs Ear
1997 The Great Escape – The Full Story
1997
1997
1997
1998 Who Poopa Da Boots??
1998 Run, Skip and Hop Degu
1998 Mice in Da Car!
1998
1998
1999 A Tipple Too Far – Party Conga!
1999
1999
1999
1999
1999
1999
2000
2000
2000
2000
2000
2001 The Sex Tape
2001 Ding Dong The Witch Might Not Be Dead!
2001 What a Right Randy Rupert!
2001 Hot Chilli Kat
2001 Magical Moments … well for me anyway!
2001
2001
2001
2001
2002 Barking Mad Minis – Broken N 2!
2002 Brushtail Attica!
2002 Ferret Nose Ring!
2002 Blue Skies Above
2002 Ay Up Pompeii
2002
2002
2002
2002
2003 Sulcata Knows Nose!
2003 That’s Just Baaad Pygmy 2003
2003 Alpaca Right Now!
2003 Pepe Twas NOT Heavenly Scent!
2003 Mini – Series – Episode 1: There May Be Trouble A Head
2003 Mini – Series – Episode 2: We’re Only ‘Making Plans For Nigel!’
2003 Mini – Series – Episode 3: Close Encounters of the Herd Kind!
2003
2003
2003
2003
2003
2004 One Too Many Raccoons
2004 It’s a Fair Cop You Dirty Rat
2004 The Babysitter …. oops!
2004 Not That Wire Mr Frizzy! 2
2004
2004
2005 One Way or Another
2005 A Microbreakfast – Nothing Beats A Big Fry Up
2005 Is That A Monkey on my Shoulder?
2005
2005
2005
2006 Shirt, Tie and Runaway Blazer!
2006
2006
2006
2007 “You’re Gonna’ need a Bigger Boat Skip!!” Part 1
2007 “You’re Gonna’ need a Bigger Boat Skip!!” Part 2
2007
2007
2007
2007
2007
2008

Cows a Running!

2008 There Be Cows In Those Fields Skipper!
2008 Coils Upon Coils!

Penned Date

Story Title

The stories in Blue have already been written up and added to the collection whilst those in purple are still to be added in.

2008 You’re Lion, That’s a Lot of Tiger!
2008
2008
2008
2008
2009 Even Grim Can Be Funny
2009 Do You Hear Da Voices?
2009 – 2011
The Dating Game
2009
2009
2009
2010 14 – 48 Yesterdays’ Bombshells
2010
2010
2010
2010
2010
2010
2010
2011
2011
2011
2011
2011
2012 What A Dilemma – The Sequel
2012
2012
2012
2013 50+ First Dates Didn’t Prepare Me for … … dating at 50!
2013
2013
2013

Penned Date

Story Title

The stories in Blue have already been written up and added to the collection whilst those in purple are still to be added in.

2014 Things That Go Bum In The Night!
2014
2014
2014
2014
2015 Rabbit Testicles, Frog Droppings!!
2015 The Wet Patch
2015 Hashtag Hash!!
2015
2015
2016
2016
2016
2016
2017 Little Georgie
2017
2017
2017
2017
2018 What – Did She Just Say That??
2018 Warts And All Boar
2018 The Elusive Farting Goat
2018 Bear Necessities
2018 Don’t Call Me Gym!
2018
2019
2019

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Penned Date

Doin’ The  Dirt … Eh 2018

May 16 2018 Doin’ The Dirt … Eh?
May 24 2018 Mixing The Mess!
June 4 2018 The Great Garden Standoff!
July 4 2018 Shit Happens!!
July 14 2018 “It’s The Little Things That Make Me laugh!”
July 16 2018 “How does your garden grow?”
July 24 2018 “Ants in your Pants? No, Ants in your Compost – Hell Yes!!
July 28 2018 As they say … a trimmed bush is a happy bush!
August 12 2018 Will the real Ben Dover please be upstanding!
August 27 2018 Everything Has An End, Even The Season!
September 2 2018 You Say Eggplant, l say Aubergine!
September 8 2018 Clearout Saturday!
September 16 2018 Brown Fingering Day – a Mulching We Will Go!
September 25 2018 Pepper Spray
October 24 2018 The Triffids Are Here
November 6 2018 Time to Con’fig’ure the End!

 

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