Nature Diary

Suze has come a long way since September of last year. When l think back to that time, l remember how frail and vulnerable she both looked and was and sadly how broken she was. But that’s not here today, not for January 2022. Yes, she still has problems post-treatments for her cancer. But they are now hers, they are not going away anytime soon, and Suze had to learn to adapt, evolve, and roll with them. She has.

She will never have natural saliva in her mouth like you or l. Sadly many don’t even realise what it might be like to not have that freedom available to you. A dry mouth for the rest of your life means having to chew gum and drink water frequently, even when eating. Suze can chew more food now and has more food types in her diet, and that by itself is terrific news. However, a lack of natural saliva makes life awkward, chewing much harder.

Suze will always experience issues with neuropathy to her feet. When it is present, it is like having non-stop pins and needles in your feet, having the sensation of hitting your funny bone on tap 24/7. But when it’s warm and hotter than cold, it is as a problem way more manageable.

Her hearing had improved remarkably since February of last year when the doctors explained to her that she may have deafness in her life for many years to come. BUT, thankfully, that cleared up and by December of last year, whilst not back 100%, she does have improvement to the sweet tune of around 90%, which is way better than being deaf.

Suze was never large, to begin with, but the cancer treatments really knocked her weight for six, and she was incredibly frail in the spring and summer months of last year. She is on the mend now, and she may never be the weight she was when we first met or even the weight she had back at the start of 2019 before she took ill with the unknown virus that nearly killed her – LONG before the cancer diagnosis of 2020 – she looks healthier now.

But above everything – Suze’s mental health is wonderfully more robust than it was back in late August when she felt like she just wanted to end her life. Her confidence may not be ultra or uber party girl. Still, it never was like that, to begin with anyway – but her positivity is much better.

You’ll know l invited Suze to move in as my guest. We have always been mates. We were mates before we were a couple in 2013 and just as sound and solid all the way through our relationship. Even after we split up in 2020, we never stopped being the best of friends. Having Suze here to recover, regain her confidence, health, and self-belief and help her regain control of her life again was a pleasure. It was never a hardship, although I’ll not deny at times that it was rocky and overwhelming stress-wise.

Last year in July, Suze’s daughter invited her mother to go and live with her and the grandchildren and her husband down under in Australia, which threw a massive spanner in Suze’s engine. She became so overwhelmed that she broke. Now to be fair, it wasn’t just that. It was a combination of events and problems that Suze was experiencing and had been suffering with since her treatments stopped in January.

She was still recovering physically and mentally after going through severe cancer treatments from the NHS. They were very aggressive in treating her cancer, they had to be to get it gone. Once the treatments were done, she was almost on her own in recovery because the NHS were overwhelmed with the pandemic there were no additional funds available to help her mental health.

She was suffering terribly from significant sleep problems. She had gone back to work too soon [boredom at home] instead of taking the time to recover and then add in all the other side effects. You had one exhausted and ill lady. So whilst the offer of emigrating to Australia was beautiful in Suze’s world, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Suze was a mess when l saw her in the very early days of September and l said, ‘Sweetheart, enough is enough, take up my offer of moving in here as my guest to recover, let me be your stepping stone to improved health.’ I had initially made the offer to her in March. Still, her pride and life of conditioning to not admit defeat or ask for help meant that she had simply become iller.

Thankfully and finally, after living here for September as a part-time guest, Suze agreed. She moved in officially on the first of October. Four months later, the woman you see above and below is the Suze of today. Mostly today, she is more relaxed, more optimistic, more confident, and more able to make decisions regarding her health and future.

In comparison to a few months ago when those levels were in very low figures and not as high as 20% in most cases, today she is riding higher on the 75% mark. I think a few months in Australia will recover those percentages to the 90’s.

It has been an interesting few first days of the new year, and why?

For starters – Suze who has been working her job from home after returning last October was informed last week by her employers that they will be performing internal ‘role’ shuffles.

Additionally, Suze booked a three week holiday to go to Australia to visit her daughter, son-in-law and the grandchildren, including a new addition who was born to the family last year and who Suze has never met as Grandmother. But it was to be the first visit from Suze since the dreaded holiday in July of 2019 when she came back dreadfully ill and nearly died in hospital with that unknown virus!

But also, let’s not forget the offer on the table from her family down under from last year – ‘living in Australia’ forever. That’s not an easy decision to make for anyone, young or old, single or married and so on. The three-week holiday was the initial touch base for decisions and discussions to do with the viability – could Suze actually uproot and move away from her family and friends here? Was three weeks holiday long enough to make that kind of colossal decision?

No way! I had always thought that, and Suze was also beginning to also realise that.

Her job has always been iffy, and for some time, Suze has believed that with her absences from work with cancer and the 2019 incident, maybe her employers would if they could try and ease her out? In recent times, those thoughts have become more of a possible reality. When employers reshuffle positions and request everyone to reapply for their jobs or ‘new roles’, it’s time to rethink.

So last Friday, l said to Suze, “Resign!” Go to Australia and visit the family, but take time out this time. Get to know Australia, get to know your new granddaughter, reconnect with your own daughter and the grandkids, and DON’T rush back. Take time to recover properly and enjoy yourself. Stay there for 3, 4, 5 or even six months. It’s all doable.

I even wrote to her daughter and asked her if she would mind if her mother stayed longer than 3 weeks? Why would she? Was her response? She would love to have her mum with her for longer than three weeks. Her daughter had already paid for the to and from plane tickets as a present, and the Visa just came through confirming that Suze can rock and roll her way down under.

I told Suze not to worry about her job. Between myself and her son-in-law with our established and soon to be starting businesses, she could benefit us both by learning a new career – social media marketing. Its future opportunity properties are enormous! Suze came from a data background. She would find a new career highly rewarding.

Suze is worried about various things. She is a natural worrier; l have told her to not worry. Her home here is safe, and she has a temporary home down under. She is covered. She is nervous about the flights. 24 hours in the air is a long time, and more so for her because the last time she was flying was July 2019, and a lot of shit has happened since then.

But she is more robust today.

So that is what is happening next week. Suze resigned from her job last Monday and her last day will be Friday 14th. In so far as leaving for her extended vacation – Thursday 20th January and then Suze will be jetting off for 3 – 6 months.

I’ll not lie, I’ll miss her terribly and more than she might realise, but it’s not like l don’t have the stuff to do or that she is going to be gone forever and will never return. I have a business to start up, l also have a new business partner in Suze who will be whilst away down under learning a new career in social media marketing.

But l feel really proud of my achievement with my best mate. I told her once many years ago when we first started seeing each other that one day a time would come when l could help her in a deep and meaningful way and help her become a new her … life is so funny at times.

My duty there is complete on one side, and on the other, it has just begun.

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RIP Scrappy Doodlepip 30/11/2003 – 12/01/2020 – Still Loved, Sorely Missed.

I can’t believe it’s two years since Scrappy went.

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Post Dates for January/February 2022 [10.25 am]

30 thoughts on “Nature Diary

  1. I’m so happy to see Suze looking good. She has recovered her lost weight too some extent and is looking healthy and fresh. You’ve done a a great job Rory with your best friend. Giving her the confidence to start afresh is a gift. I hope she has a wonderful time with her daughter and her family and get even healthier. Give her my hugs.

    1. Hugs awarded and thanks to you Sadje sent back from Suze.

      She has come a long way and the warmer weather, the emotional strength as well will do her a greater deed 🙂

        1. Thanks Sadje, once she gets over her pre-journey apprehensions and anxieties she’ll be fine. Hardest part is the journey, she’ll set off Thursday evening and not touch down till Saturday morning. A six hour stop over in Singapore stands in the middle.

  2. That is good news! Suze looks so well! And the extended visit to Australia, with guarantee of a place to come ‘home’ to – well, that is just priceless. (The 14th of this month will be one year since Miss Frankie passed, we still miss her on a daily basis *sigh*)

    1. Hey Grace, where does the time go to and why in some cases does it seem to be so fast?

      Well our pets are part of us, they are the best parts of us and so when they go, we feel it deep.

  3. I am so happy to hear Suze is doing so much better and is taking this opportunity to see her daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren. Please give her my love and best wishes for a joyful experience.

    Rory, I would love to hear you and Suze went to an animal shelter and adopted a puppy before she leaves, to keep you company while she is gone. Though I understand you have a lot of things lined up to keep you busy, it is not the same as having the company of a living being to love and nurture.

    I will be taking a break from WordPress beginning next week. Please feel free to email me any time, tho.

    Wishing you a great rest of the week. 🤗💞

    1. Hey Betty 🙂

      Rescue centres work differently in the UK. It used to be easier to get a rescue as in you could go and take one back the same day. But that was 20 years ago.

      Today is very different – it can take a month to adopt a rescue from a centre and because of all of their red tape many people are abandoning the idea of a rescue and buying more bred puppies direct or even adopting from abroad.

      I know three or four people who have adopted rescues from Greece, Romania and Germany because it is easier to adopt from Europe and have it all done in a couple of weeks over our very own country buiggering about and taking between 4 – 6 weeks.

      I wouldn’t take a dog on at this stage of starting a business up, it would be unwise and unfair and in truth the autism takes care of my company very well. I don’t get bored or lonely and like my own company very much.

      The house will seem empty for about a week, but once that period passes, l will simply become Aspie me again and the hardest bit will be keeping myself human and not becoming totally autistic robot.

      1. Hey Rory! 😊

        Oh, that’s too bad about the rescue centers and their red tape! In the states we can still take a pet home the same day.

        Well, at least you will be okay, then, being alone. I do understand about that.

        Wishing you every success with your business venture.

        I’ll catch back up with you down the road a bit. ‘Til then, take care, Dear and be Happy.

  4. That’s great news about Suze! I wish her continued healing and much success. Give Suze an extra hug from me. ❤️

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