Yesterday’s Poetical Reflections

Welcome to Yesterday’s Poetical Reflections – a sub – series of my poetry directory in which l shall ‘reblog’ some of my previously published content.
Yesterday’s Poetical Reflections – Pulse
Poetry Directory

Strangely enough, there are but only a few,
Who understand me fully and know who l am,
Many assume wrongly that they know me too,
Thinking foolishly that they understand this man,

But sadly this is quite simply not the case,
They see me, my writing, my thinking,
Yet rarely do they see beyond my face,
And into my mind, despite their constant blinking,

For if they did, and knew me as they so say,
Then they would know only too well,
Twas not long ago, the days of only yesterday,
Saw me change and start the journey towards hell,

The unstable mind can also be beautiful,
Yet the beauty is purely within,
Those unseeing, only see the unusual,
And not what lays behind and hidden,

For if they were to know me as well as said,
Then they would understand more clearly,
What actually goes on in my head,
And not live in their pretence of actuality,

Could they see, that perhaps, even maybe,
The complexity of pain as unknown by most,
Is a daily occurrence and sadly,
Not a relationship l would like to raise toast,

Nay, ‘tis but a truth of our mankind,
It is by far easier, to live in darkness then to face,
The sadness many feel in the daily grind,
Of the hidden and imaginary place,

I long for an end that many would find disturbing,
And pray that l can live to serve my purpose,
In this life, without my cause being found perturbing,
By those who will never truly understand my pulse.

© Rory Matier 2011

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20 thoughts on “Yesterday’s Poetical Reflections

        1. There hasn’t been. I don’t think it was a heart attack. I did ponder on it. I think it was something to do with the digestive system. i rang the doctors, quite long winded and l will write about it this coming week.

          However, l opted to not go to hospital, and have now ordered a comprehensive blood test from online and will get my bloods checked first.

          if l have something happen again, l will go to the hospital, but we are talking anything upwards of 9 hours wait time in my hospital and it’s filled with all sorts of people there. I am likely to become iller whilst trying to seek help to get better, and that’s not a risk l am willing to take during a pandemic sadly.

          Thanks for asking 🙂

        2. Typically, heart attack pain is very severe and transient. It’s also activity related or to cold. Stomach issues can cause pain like this. It’s good that you’re getting blood work done. Avoiding hospital is good precaution but not at the cost of health. I hope the episode never recurs. Take care and keep us updated.

        3. Hey Sadje. I agree it’s a good precaution and l also agree it’s a cost against my health. But our hospitals are overrun with flu cases, covid cases and now to make matters worse doctors are simply not willing to see patients in their own practices so they just send them straight to the A&E departments.

          This means that hospital waiting rooms sometimes have so many patients waiting to be seen that people are having to queue outside whatever the weather.

          A normal A&E department pre-covid wait time was maybe 3 hours tops. Now ambulances can take upwards of 3 hours alone to get to calls.

          A&E departments are meant for accidents and emergencies only, doctor practices are meant for patients will basic issues. A&E departments are not meant to be used by someone who has stubbed their toe or like me, a suspected heart attack five days after the event.

          My doctor has all the equipment to test me in his practice and yet he chose to send me off to the hospital knowing full well that l could be facing upwards of 9 hours wait time.

          That’s completely unnacceptable behaviour and not something l am willing to experience.

          I spend my days seeing very few people, social distancing, having my mask on where applicable and generally keeping out of the way of a society that potentially is infectous. Double boosting now means nothing as the new variants can still affect people.

          I know many places are like this around the world.

          So for the time being, l will do as much as l can to help myself.

          if any one body is breaking cautionary practice, l believe it to be the local medical centres.

          I too hope it doesn’t happen again … but who knows.

        4. I totally understand your concerns. I’d have same reservations on going to an emergency room in a hospital here. But luckily we do have private practicing doctors who will see the patient for a fee. I don’t know the system in uk but I hope you stay healthy and safe and don’t need to go to the ER.

        5. I had thought about going private again, but the latest reports coming in from that sector are not that good either. Everything is going to pot.

          It makes me laugh at times when so many say things like “Oh Britain is this, that and a, b and c in excellence!” i hear those comments and think “Really, try living here then!”

          It’s not just this industry. You have seen what it’s like with the education system and autism as an example if you read Gary’s posts as l know you do, as do l.

          Everything is currently pretty shambolic, but sadly, whilst many industries blame Brexit or the pandemic, they fail to recognise the problems that started long before these concerns. The biggest blight was down to corporations and governments ignoring the advice of industrialists and medical professionals for too long anyway.

          It’s like the climate and the activity there . well that’s been a major and dangerous concern for 50 years and here we are fifty years later scratching our heads and asking how this happened?

          This chaos is everywhere. It’ll kill us all one way or another.

        6. Yes, we as a former colony of Britain used to look up to your country as the best in everything. My older brother has trained as a surgeon in UK and is working there since 28-29 years. But now what I read and hear is just so disappointing. It’s like another version of what’s happening in America.

    1. Hey Eugenia, happy Sunday to you.

      That’s the beauty of the words we write from our yesterdays we can look back and see how far we have come and progressed 🙂

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