A Slice of Life

The Bad Habits of Society!

What is it with people these days?

Over the last few weeks, l have attempted to sell ‘bit’n’pieces’ from the house here. The sales have had to come around due to Suzanne moving in full time here, and whilst the house was big enough for two people anyway because it was just me here to start with, l had ‘stuff’ in all of the rooms.

Suze moved in officially on October 1st. Her furniture arrived just before that – not all of it – but maybe 45% of her entire household moved here. She now occupies the spare bedroom, and also, what was the empty third bedroom is now her office environment. Her remaining furniture is held in a secure lockup over in Dover.

This move-in meant that whilst there WAS still space for two people and the majority of their belongings, some things had to change and change around and move on. Some of the furniture l had in Willow when l first moved in July 2020 has now had to be sold on, or rather, l should say, l am attempting to sell certain pieces on.

It is proving harder this year than in previous years to move stuff onwards via private selling methods.

Two things l have noticed are strange behaviours arising from or since the pandemic. This is NOT saying these bad habits were missing before, because they weren’t. They were simply not as profound and noticeable.

The irks l have are 1] that people seemingly have become ruder in the last 15 months to others than they previously were. People have become more selfish and self-centred and absorbed in themselves to the detriment of good manners and courtesy. 2] That is not new, but most assuredly more distinct is that people buying used goods now expect to either get it for nothing or pay nothing for it.

I am selling a few pieces. All are in excellent condition, clean and priced well. Even with the added inclusion of £xxx ONSO [Or nearest sensible offer], the offers that people put in are meagre. I am all for a bit of bantering and renegotiation, but people don’t have that savvy. They become rude if you say no to their price.

I have a five-piece breakfast bar set here, purchased last July 2020 for £175 for a shelved breakfast bar table and four chairs. I first advertised it for £155 two weeks ago. Received an offer for £105. I declined that offer and tried a compromising suggestion, and they were adamant that l was a rip off artist and l was asking too much. They asked for my lowest price and l suggested £125 with them collecting from me.

That’s a drop of £50 from me, and still, they weren’t happy and demanded that l prove l paid £175 for the set! I declined their request and suggested that if they were not satisfied with my price, then maybe look at Amazon and see if they could find a set for lower or even check out eBay.

There were a few messages from more people asking, “If this was still available?” Which l answered yes, then you hear nothing more. I am using an online social media marketplace to sell on, which l have always had a great deal of success with in the past.

I had to renew the advert last Friday, so l dropped the price to £135 with an added note of ONO [Or Nearest Offer], and l got a hit straight away an offer came in of £80!? I declined, and they asked me the lowest l was willing to go to? I said £125 for them to hit back with a statement of “It’s cheaper on Amazon!! They are selling it for £93, match it!!”

I said them, but that is only for a shelved bar table and 2 chairs? I closed the conversation with my advice to buy the Amazon set and then source two additional chairs. Still, you’ll find that those two chairs will probably price you up again towards my £125 anyway.

I’ll not bore you with all the details. Still, time and time again, l am getting this nonsense back from what l class as rude people and arrogant people l am a private seller l don’t have to ‘match anything’ like l am a commercial seller! Sheesh!

I have three bean bags for sale; they cost me £55 each last June 2020 when l bought them, excellent condition. The company l bought them from has had a deal on for the past two months, and the £55 bean bags are currently priced at £40.00. So l advertised mine at £35 each or £100 for the three and the last offer was £15 each!

There are other items to list; who knows how they will fair. But l don’t understand the mentality of people today – don’t get me wrong, if someone offered me an excellent sensible offer, l will accept, but NOT stupid offers. I don’t need the money, l am not desperate for the sale – although the space being cleared would help, but whilst l am willing to drop some of the price l am not willing to simply give items away.

I was raised to be polite to people, so l am always polite to people even when they are not polite to me. Two wrongs don’t make it right! I don’t try and manipulate and coerce people by using aggressive tactics, as l have witnessed from potential buyers in the last few weeks.

I don’t have a sense of entitlement as some do, and they make no attempt to hide it; l don’t look or talk down at/to people like a lot of people are now starting to do more and more. It seems that we have a lot of people with a very strained and strange mentality these days, and l am not sure why?
Another wrong habit l am seeing is a complete lack of respect for people and a lack of consideration.

The pandemic wasn’t to blame, but it seemed to kick start a new trend of disregard for people and things. People have gotten used to demanding and expecting instant results in their favour and becoming shocked if they find opposition to their quirky beliefs in what they believe they should have.

I also think that much of society has become lazy and cannot haggle or even understand the concept of bargaining. So many others are so desperate to just let go of stuff that they’ll not resist the tactics that buyers use. On the other side of the coin – many now used to living in a disposable world believe that everyone is some kind of online seller or trader and therefore should be shouted down on prices… l am all for the credo of ‘you don’t know till you try’, but this behaviour isn’t about trying your luck, this is more about no one has the right to ask for a decent price in the world of selling on today.

Finally, l am sadly starting to think that ‘patience is no longer something that many have’ and whilst it is a virtue, it is becoming a fading one.

ClassicEggshell Shop | Redbubble

38 thoughts on “A Slice of Life

        1. Yup! Very unfortunate. Even older people are like that now. Just came across 2 incidents today where people are being very petty. 😞🤬🤯

  1. I cannot deal with people’s awful behavior and it’s probably worse here (or am I stereotyping the British as more polite?). When I was divorcing I basically gave my household away. I had to get rid of most things and it was clear that folks expected to pay a penny on the dollar. That was my first and last attempt at direct selling of material goods!

    1. Hey Paula, it is difficult, as l have said l don’t mind accepting a good price for things, but so many people now don’t want to pay for anything and yet, sometimes these same people will spend thousands over a year on practically useless trite and not blink an eyelid. It all comes down to what people are willing to pay versus what they personally think something is worse.

      In the end l took the breakfast bar set off sale and just wiggled and jiggled things around a bit, but l can’t do that with everything.

      People’s behaviour is appalling in recent times though.

      As said it wasn’t the pandemic to blame, l think we notice it more because we are seeing people differently.

  2. We tend to give it all away, to charity shops, or there’s a local furniture recyclers here who pass it on to the needy and poverty stricken families. Totally anonymous exchange, and no mucking about, which I like.

        1. I agree, as you may recall, l gave cartloads to the local charity shop here a few months ago when l was preparing the house for Suze’s arrival, but some pieces l am not prepared to simply give away for nothing.

  3. Don’t even get me started! In 2012 when we were selling a house – the appraised value was $220,000, we were asking $215,000, The first offer we got was for $87,500 plus they wanted us to cover the closing costs and, get this, they wanted some of my furniture! I told my agent to tell the guy to shove it. She said I had to counter offer. My counter offer was $225,000. Guy came back with $89,000 plus the other “asks” – I said flat out No.

    I recently was selling a one month old, used once, $100 vacuum cleaner – asking $50 – all the responses were “Can I get it for free?” – Um, no.

    1. Hey Grace, l know what you mean – way too many people simply want everything for nothing.

      I think if someone had offered me the prices for my house that were offered to you, l would have thrown them and the bids out of a window, fired the agent and moved onto a different agency.

      1. The agent has to forward all offers to the seller. It’s up to the seller if they want to accept an offer or not. I didn’t really have to offer a counter, I could have just said no which I should have but countering with an offer OVER the listing price was supposed to send a message to the prospective buyer, seems it didn’t. The buyer’s agent should have known better than to even put in such an offer.

  4. I hate bargaining, and I’m glad I don’t live in a country where bargaining is a regular part of purchasing things.

    I must say, though, I would be highly unlikely to pay £155 for a used item that was £175 new. I wouldn’t haggle, because I’m not into haggling, but if a used item is at an 11% discount compared to the new, I’d most likely buy the new item.

    1. Hey Ashley and that is a fair comment.

      There are many contributing factors when selling online and even selling second-hand items online and one of the biggest factors is actual condition of the second-hand goods.

      So many people these days sell items online that they don’t clean or are scratched or in general poor condition, scuffed and broken. They chuck their items on at top $ and expect that to sell.

      Many buyers these days also are ‘not’ genuine home owners but are traders looking at the market places to purchase good quality second hand items to sell on at a much higher price – they are generally more tactical in their approach to sellers.

      More people do not understand the basic principals of selling and either 1] panic when challenged and drop their prices, 2] are selling inferior goods and then just let go, 3] don’t grasp what the items are worth anyway and then are not sure how to even start the process and much of the time give goods away to charity.

      Most charities are no longer after larger items like furniture down here and want bric and brac or simply want monetary donations. The reason this has come about is because many failed homeowners trying to sell product panicked at no sales and simply dumped their stuff into charities or ended up fly tipping or taking to the rubbish tips and more and more product ends up into the landfills.

      11% second-hand is the right starting price to ‘test’ the market, what are they willing to pay for goods at this present time? This close to Christmas?

      With the new price that was offered which was a drop of just over 30% that is a good price still as it is in an assembled position which many of the new sets are not, and a lot of people do not wish to assemble anymore.

      A lot of considerations are taken into account when selling items – availability, buyer collections [they think they are getting a bargain], viewings allowed.

      it always comes down to what someone is willing to pay. If when priced at £175, someone had offered anywhere between 125-135 l would have taken it.

      If you start your prices too low, then the haggling starts too low.

      If it doesn’t sell at the new price, l will leave it till after Christmas and offer out around January at £125.

      1. Here’s the way I would look at it. If it’s a £175 item and you’re trying to sell it to me for £155, that means that you expect to pay £20 for a year and a half’s use of it, yet you expect me to pay £155. This is part of why I have no desire to bargain, and I almost never buy (or sell) things second-hand.

        1. People look at things differently Ashley – l do see where you are coming from and respect what you are saying. All l can say is start too low with the first price and you stand to lose.

          The price you are referring to was the market test price – people were interested in the items, but not the price – that’s fair – you use the interested parties as a guiding rule and go from there.

          Not everyone likes haggling or bargaining, that’s the way of life.

        2. However, you and l are haggling even now, but doing so politely – it’s not the pricing that was the problem, it was people’s attitude.

          Most buyers are basically rude and wouldn’t even bother to venture into conversation.

        3. Well the example is here – we are exchanging conversation – haggling and bargaining is about conversation.

          People’s ideas of haggling is very different between cultures also.

          Most people who attempt to haggle these days put forward a price, l would then say yay or nay or suggest a compromised price and then people would start haggling. But the difference is that when people are basically rude if you decline their offer, then they cuss, swear at you that’s the differen ce. they act differently to private sellers than they do to retailers.

  5. Been there, done that and have no positive comments to add. (My Mother and Granny always told me, if you can’t say anything good, don’t say anything at all. 😊) Wishing you a wonderful week ahead, Rory.

    1. Hey Betty, yes l was brought up under the same roof of theory 🙂

      It was more direct like “Just because you have a cakehole doesn’t mean you need to eat cake all day!”

      1. Now, to me, that sounds like a rude comment to make, especially to a child, Rory. And common courtesy is something I am willing to discuss. 😊

        I don’t know about today’s generation, but in mine courtesy was of the utmost importance. I remember two cousins fighting over our great uncle’s estate exchanging courteous remarks as they entered the courthouse for their lawsuit politely asking about each others’ immediate family. A visiting friend from up North asked me “How can they do that when they’ve been fighting tooth and nail over their inheritance all this time?” I responded because we’ve been taught that was the courteous thing to do. He didn’t understand what I meant. So, it is as you say it is, a cultural thing.

        In my opinion, a person doesn’t have to be nasty to another just because they disagree about something. But, some people would never understand that, no matter how hard you try to make them. 🙂 And at this point in my life, I can accept that’s ok. We’re all different in some respect or another.

        I can’t control how people behave, I can only control how I respond. The ongoing challenge is not to let it get into your Heart and/or hurt your “feelings”. Not by “turning Off”, but by letting it pass through without grabbing hold of it, or taking it to heart, as they say.

        1. Hey Betty – Now, to me, that sounds like a rude comment to make, especially to a child, Rory. And common courtesy is something I am willing to discuss. It is more of an English thing l would say, l know that at times much can be lost between the waters of the ponds between us 🙂

          My mother promoted courteousness my father was more arrogant, but l still grew up being polite to people. then as l was involved in the services industry for many years, it was a matter of principal to be polite to people too.

  6. I feel the pandemic has changed people for the worse. I’ve noticed that people don’t seem to care what they say and are outright rude. We were selling things before the scamdemic but gave up for a while. People want stuff for free or next to nothing so I prefer to donate it rather than go through the hassle.

    1. Hey Eugenia, wishing you a great Tuesday. Yes l agree with you and also to the sentiment of scamdemic as l see many businesses and people alike cashing in on things dreadfully and shamefully.

      I can understand the hassles associated with people all too well and know why people would choose the easier route to avoid rudeness from people.

Comments are closed.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: