Musings of a Boring Ol’ F!

This world of ours ….

Over the last few weeks, Suze has constantly asked herself the burning question of ‘Whether she feels that she fits into today’s world?” When l ask her what she means she usually replies with “The world is just going so fast, l am not sure exactly where l fit in to it anymore?”

I respond with, “Well is this something ‘really‘ that new, or is it something that you have only just noticed since the cancer, and do any of us really ‘fit snugly’ into the world around us? It’s always changing …… we have two choices, to change with it and see where it takes us or pretend it’s not happening and not let the changes change us and see what happens …”

But of course much of the time l have also asked myself similar questions …… is the world changing too fast? If l was younger would l be more adaptive? Where is the world going to be in the next, 5, 10 or even 20 years? What will it look like?

My mother who will be 82 next year, informs me that she would love to see the world in twenty years, and is super excited at the prospects of it all … whilst l think, once is enough for me. Not being negative, just honest. I am not a huge fan of today’s world and whilst l can appreciate everything that is going on around me, l can’t help but feel that at times that we are starting to see the rise and start to the futuristic society, and it appears to be shaping up in a dystopian manner over that of the opposite it could be ‘utopian’.

I used to struggle with the feeling of not fitting in anyway … so her question doesn’t faze me … l have always striven to make this world mold around my own world and work at best finding ‘stuff’ to fill into the odd crevices so that it doesn’t or rather l don’t stick out too much as an oddball. Admittedly that has not always worked that well … but as l am getting older and ageing gracefully into my future, l am learning how to best tackle these issues.

Still l look around me and think where’s it all heading, this world of ours?

I am glad l got through my schooling years in one piece because l am not sure if l could have survived the potential online bullying of social trolling through media, surviving my father’s abuse was already a hardship … so l am glad l am not going through that again. But from what l read, schooling whilst always cruddy even when l was young was still way better than the education, we have for our young today … although they seem to be more savvy or streetwise whereas when l was their age, perhaps l wasn’t as savvy or streetwise, but then again, l was for my time ish.

Maybe as l am older l can’t see how the system is working for the kids of today, even though many more are aware of the shape of the planet … someone recently said that kids are getting dumber, and judging by a video l saw recently where an interviewer asked kids in the street some general questions and one girl answered upon seeing a picture of Winston Churchill with William Shakespeare admittedly l was a little concerned …..

Of course, it’s about balance, our world has never been balanced – we live in a world of complexity, of harshness, we are mostly for the better part just numbers being manipulated by governments that we stupidly vote in believing we as the adults are being savvy and streetwise ………. say no more.

Maybe the kids aren’t getting stupider, perhaps we as the adults are – we seem to make more of the same mistakes over and over again …. this world of ours is fast becoming their world and if anything, it’s us that are destined and designed to not fit into the tomorrows of their adulthood?

It’s their world now, our tour of duty is coming to an end …

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49 thoughts on “Musings of a Boring Ol’ F!

  1. The pace of change has quickened, but the change was always there. I don’t worry about fitting in. Why should I? The world is big enough to accommodate all types.

    1. Hey Sadje, generally l agree with you, but the world is changing hard and fast and the world has not always been that accomodating of all types and l somehow don’t think that is going to change anytime soon, l think it potentially is going to worsen and more and more divides will literally start to seperate societies again.

      1. Rory, luckily, I live in a society where the change is not that noticeable. Many people are illiterate and have little idea of the changing worlds. The younger generation is very much in step with the western, modernized society, but many older people are still stuck in past. And everyone gets along with each other. Except the spoiled lot.

        1. Perhaps 40-50%. Not the official figures but I think most poor people don’t get educated as the kids start working very early. Now things are changing. Schooling is free and so are books etc. hopefully things will get better

        2. It is. The percentage is high in Sindh, south Punjab and balochistan. Central Punjab , KPK and Kashmir have higher percentages.

  2. I feel now fortunate not to have followed a managerial career path – ugh! – instead I had a freelance one which often had me work side by side with younger people from all backgrounds and I feel quite positive about younger generations. I don’t think they’re any more stupid than us. On the contrary, we have evidently messed it up for them; twenty years hence won’t see a rosy time for the world.

    I don’t know about “fitting in”, Rory. It’s good to feel valued. On the other hand, do we have to be judged worthy by others? All the great people in history were individuals, they probably didn’t fit in with society until society fitted in with them.

    1. Hey Ian, what path did you follow career wise?

      I did follow a managerial path myself for the first part of my corporate career before switching to contract and freelance and self employed.

      1. I first was a freelance design engineer, from 26, then much, much later stepped back and was a freelance computer-aided modeller – about the last ten years before retiring. I’ve retired early to dedicate more time to enjoying life! 😁

        When I started work after school, there was a group of us young lads going down the pub for lunch. Two of the older lads were nearing the end of their training time and talking about their options. Going on to be a manager was an option cited and when I heard this I thought, oh no, is that where I’m going?

        You see, we had a manager who no one liked. When a director came down to speak with him, you could sense the disdain they had for him. And as for us, he just failed to connect in any way. So I didn’t want to be like him.

        But even before that, when I had a part time job while at school, I had a manageress in this accounts dept. in an company, during a summer break, and all the women there – they were all women there apart from me – hated her. I know because of the way they talked about her behind her back every time.

        I think throughout my career, and I’ve seen inside many companies as a freelancer, it’s been no better than 50-50, well liked managers and unliked ones. I felt I had to be one of the team, or my own boss, not a man in the middle.

        1. Ah yes, l see where you are coming from Ian and can understand why you didn’t want to be in that position.

          I wasn’t disliked by my team, l was usually more disliked by my managers as they considered l was too close to my team. Sometimes there is no winning in corporate.

          I found greater peace of mind working for myself than having to deal with egos and office politics.

  3. Difficult questions! I do feel the world is changing fast sometimes and other times, for example, when it is about medicine and better development, I feel we’re too slow…
    I 100% agree with “we are mostly for the better part just numbers being manipulated by governments”, this is the reality!

    1. hey Renard and that’s a very good question – but some people feel they don’t have that option. I think the biggest problem with Suze as an example is that she doesn’t know where she thinks she should fit in.

  4. I’m not sure if that’s a matter of getting dumber, or if it’s just a natural shift in the body of knowledge that society deems to be relevant, and the internet makes it even for that shift to happen more rapidly.

    The internet also gives us a much wider perspective of the world around us, which probably makes it harder to have a sense of fitting in. Fitting in requires some degree of uniformity, which doesn’t actually exist. Maybe fitting in isn’t the best thing to be aiming for.

    1. This. It seems silly to memorize scads of data to regurgitate for a test when we can simply google it in 3 seconds. It would be better to have a foundational knowledge of logic and concepts so we can make sense of the huge amount of info (lots of it bad) at our fingertips. It seems more relevant to know how to avoid computer viruses than to know all the state capitals!

      1. Hey, hey Paula 🙂

        Yes l agree, l have long said that edication needs to be based on what is needed more rather than what was the curriculum from before – it all comes down to balancing the whats and the wheres.

        But we do need everyday useful information as well as a general knowledge as it is these two combined which disciplines the mind.

    2. Hey Ashley, l think you have hit a nail on the head very well with the introduction of the Internet and l would add to that behaviours – as well as l see below that Paula has rated the same with ‘why do A, b and c, when you can Google A – Z in a flash!

      The Internet does offer a much more versatile approach to society and culture adaptions.

      I think if l am honest and l have said this to Suze also, that hers is probably more a case of not thinking she has any value any more and that is exactly what Ian also said above 🙂

  5. I never felt I “fit in,” so I don’t struggle with it. In fact, it’s better for me now because I have a group of oddball friends and my place as a grandma. I don’t feel weird being single (and not looking), since many of my friends are the same. But in society “at large” it’s still not the norm to be unpartnered AND not trying to change that. But even within the group, I’m a little odd for preferring to avoid most outdoor activities… yet there’s enough other stuff I enjoy in common with them. I have to say this worry of fitting in is one area of life that’s better for me after aging! I struggled much more with the idea as a child and young adult…

    1. Yes l think that for many of us, the ageing process helps us rather than hinders our progression … l think for Suze and her fitting in, she is missing mostly being able to ‘grandmother’ her grandchildren and as she was mostly a woman who felt that fitting in for her was centred around family, she feels lost now.

  6. I definitely think this world is changing, and not for the better! Your right, kids are definitely more savey today, more street wise, we werent that way as kids, we were more innocent, child like. XX

    1. Hey Carol Anne, l think you are right, we probably were not totally innocent, but we weren’t as hot on the heels to the politics like many youngsters are today.

  7. Given the state of some of our leaders, the change needs to happen ASAP. I’ve been pondering life. Thinking actually is fitting in actually not right for some people. For me. Am I better off on a wood miles from anyone.

  8. Poor Suze☹ As you said, she centered her identity on family and feels a loss of purpose. I sometimes wonder if I’ll feel that way, but I don’t think so.
    I’m not ready to bow out and let the younger generation have the world. I still want to be part of the world… on the edges is okay😉

    I’m not tech savvy like I was when I was younger, but I know enough to suit me needs. If I needed to learn more, I’d learn🤷🏼‍♀️

    I don’t know that we were more innocent, we just didn’t have instant access to everything. It was different, but not necessarily better. The world seems to be falling into chaos at an accelerated speed, but is it?
    In the 80s we were sure Nuclear Holocaust was just around the corner…

    My Crystal Ball 🔮 is cracked and cloudy, I don’t know where we’re headed. I look forward to each day and don’t look too far ahead… 🤷🏼‍♀️

    1. In the 80’s l wasn’t bothered about the possibility of nuclear problems, and even now the threat is there as tensions build up with concerns over Russia … again!

      If it happened/happens – not much we could do about it.

      The world was always a concern – l became more politically orientated in the 90’s, l became climate oriented in the early part of the millenium and then hyperfocused on environmentals for l guess the last 15 years.

      But kids today seem to be more aware of certain things and utterly clueless to others – BUT this comes down to the teachings, learnings and the teachers – parental and educational alike. They have a ressponsibility to teach and l feel that is failing.

      I can’t get through to Suze at times no matter how hard l try to motivate or inspire.

  9. As far as fitting in – fitting into what? Someone else’s idea of where you should be?

    One of my favorite quotes – No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” ― Heraclitus

    Keep on keepin’ on coz you only go around once.

    1. How would l know? Suze is the one who is struggling. She is lost after her cancer. She feels no purpose in life – everyone at one point or another feels this way whether they can acknowledge it or not at the moment in time or even years later. People want to feel that they belong.

      I struggled to fit in years back because l was always told l was a piece of useless shit by my father and l believed him, because he was my father. I sat on the spectrum for years and never knew until my early forties – when you feel you don’t fit in, when you personally feel you don’t fit in the world – you have two choices – change it or accept it for what it is.

      Most unwittingly never give it thought and behave like a sheep, others question it and others still strive to make the world fit into theirs.

      1. I understand the reasons for wanting to fit in and I believe it is part of just be a human being. With that said, we have to not stop being ourselves. I think there should be a balance between being an outcast and fitting in. We’re are pieces of this huge puzzle of the world.

  10. I would love to see the world in 20 years. I do not mind the world changing so fast even though I will not be able to change as fast as it does.

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