How Well Do You Truly Deeply Connect, Reconnect and Recollect Your Life?

TL:DR – Introductory backstory to the question, skip to bottom if you only want the question part.

The Thrive Programme as l have written about recently, is a very deep study course that investigates behaviour and beliefs. It is about how we as people choose to live our lives and whether we allow outside influences [beliefs] to determine how we go about our lives. If we allow the belief systems we believe in to manipulate life and decisions, if we allow certain beliefs to control how we opt to cope with things or not. It makes the reader look at many topics and asks of them to thoroughly research that belief and how it interacts with their daily life, and do they need it in their life to exist and or to cope, or could they survive without it.

Have you become too reliant upon your beliefs? Do the a – c’s of your belief/s enrich your life or could your life become enriched in other more practical ways. Could you cope with not having them in your life and still live a happy life?

It doesn’t look at just the belief system either, but probes into other areas like influences and sayings too … it’s really a case of looking at what and how people choose and decide to believe.

I have found the programme, to be fascinating and frustrating at the same time … because of the way it challenges the way you think and the way you thought you were thinking and the way it asks you to take a step back and try rethinking your original thoughts …. differently.

Thrive encourages objective study of many different belief types. Not just the usual ones that people might think off the top the heads like ‘religions’, and supernatural theories or ghosts and horoscopes but also very deep and defined beliefs as well, like … addiction, superstitions, strange phraseologies, stereotypical behaviours, soul mates, gambling, chance beliefs, believing in strange phenomena and practices like the stars and crystal healings, bad parenting memories, memory and emotions, pain, alternative medicines and practices like homeopathy and the like, sibling rivalry and things like magic ……. the list is endless.

The programme closely studies the whole “believe in you yourself more model” and the powers you have that you can exercise into self belief and control and coping rather than award them to others or outside influences. It looks at the building of confidence and self encouragement but also looks into depression and SAD, mental health problems and anxieties, social phobias and disorders

Thrive doesn’t expect you to stop believing in your beliefs if you believe in them wholeheartedly, it just asks that you take the time to question them all properly and see if they are still needed. To travel back over your years and to try and remember ‘how’ you first started to believe what you believed in first person memory – as in – the memory of such was yours.

Over the years l personally have believed in a lot of different things … l was always curious as a child, l would poke and prod and lift up and under and read, read, read and read more. I researched all sorts of topics, religions, strange phenomena, alien life, the history of superstition and strange belief and the list went on and on.

As a teenager and as a child l saw a lot of things l couldn’t properly explain at the time. I even became a ghost hunter for a few years … l came to believe in a lot of different ‘realities’ too. I had stopped believing in religion at a young age. I discovered l had the ability to perform strange things with my mind also as a teenager …….. but as we get older, we change and so too does our thinking and thinking styles. What we choose to believe in changes as we age …. what we do and what we don’t and no longer accept as even remotely possible.

A few years ago [2017] l had a very bad year but also, l had an epiphany and in December of that year, l threw several of my beliefs about human grief into a box and threw it away. Last year [2020], l also experienced several epiphanies at once concerning who l was as a person and l took several factors that were, and l was allowing to influence my life and threw them into another box and threw that away too.

Slowly l was offloading many of my long standing personal beliefs – l simply stopped believing in them. This year [2021] l was also engaged with other areas of my mind and l was at the same time examining the last few beliefs l had on ‘strange things’ and whilst my memory is still relatively clear on the events that happened all those years ago – l decided to NOT allow them any more access to my life and made the decision to box 70% up and discard them from my life forever and vault the remaining 30% till l could make a more logical determination on them ……..

Now, why am l telling you this and what has all of this got to do with the Part 3 – 24 Hour Blog Question of the series that began last week? Well, it’s all about memory … your memory and how good you really think your memory is … truly?

How Well Do You Truly Deeply Connect, Reconnect and Recollect Your Life?

Thrive challenges me and the way l think and that is a good thing – we all need to challenge our thinking styles daily – because every day is a new day and whilst there might be similarities between one day to the next, they are still different days …

As l read the programme, there are passages or blocks of text that l shake my head to in disagreement .. l get up, walk around, ponder it, discuss it with Suze and then sit back down and start reading again but the troubled thought will still be in my head being fondled by my inner mind and challenged some more.

One of the styles that was recently challenged was the way we think we remember in a number of different ways, our dreams and our interpretations of our dreams, our short term memory and whether we think ourselves to be clear and concise or absent minded and forgetful – now you know what was the motivation behind Parts 1 and 2 in this series. This part is about how we actually remember what we think we remember from our lives, about how good our long term memory really is.

“I forget the things that don’t matter, like: whether there’s fertiliser ready for spring spreading, whether I have two onions or three in the cupboard. Otherwise, the memory is good because it’s trained to remember, and trained to lose the stuff that doesn’t matter.
Oh, but because I don’t care about birthdays and such, I don’t remember them — including my own!.”

Cage Dunn

I have a very good long term memory. My working memory can appear to some as being somewhat forgetful, and l would agree partially to that to a degree of ONLY what is required information to what is not, but as Cage recently commented and l also agree with, l tend to NOT remember trite and shite. I remember things that matter and l also over the years have trained my mind to remember and recall.

In addition to this my clarity of recall is found in the way l choose to remember things in the first place. I tend to think in pictures and dates combined .. l always have done, ever since l was a child and l know the ‘prime’ process as Visual Thought. I know also that the process is associated with autism, but it is not significant to autism only, many people think like this.

My process for memory is – first … if l want to remember something … l think of an age l was, so if l want to remember my year as a ten year old, l think 1973 as the date of the year when l was 10, then l think where l was at the time in my life. Springvale, Victoria, Australia. Then l start to drop mental postcard images in of my life living in Springvale – the house, my school, my parents, my interests, my garden, and so on, and on and the more l think on it all – the bigger the picture l can create from my memory.

I can then produce lots of images to do with my life as a ten year old living in Springvale ……l don’t need to be coaxed or reminded of events that involved me, so no outside influences are involved in my process of memory [as in parents jogging my memory or photographs from that time – l tend to have very few photographs from the years before 2015] – it’s all me.

Whilst studying Thrive recently l was reading a small indirect section concerning memory and how we choose to remember our lives. Not everyone has a fabulous memory, l have a detailed memory of events over the years, it’s not photographic as some have suggested, but it is detailed. Because once l start to process the memory, l can then remember the weather of the moment or series of moments and occasionally a scent.

Although scents these days can trigger involuntary memories – those l have not sought to recall by myself.

The section l was reading was about past memory and emotion, as in ‘according to the study’ we do not remember the way we think we do. Memory is constructive and emotions are not stored, they are of the moment we are in today. This section stopped me dead in my tracks for a long while because it was challenging the way l remember things and suggesting that none of us remember the way we think we do.

What people do when they are asked to recall a moment in their life, or a memory capture is they bring up a snapshot [picture] and remember the good times from that point onwards like they are reliving that episode …. except Thrive suggests we DON’T do that. Because the brain is unable to store images like that – we simply want to believe that is what our brains are doing – , we don’t have pictures or anything else, there are no vaults in which we choose to archive our lives. They don’t exist.

This baffled me … how then can l remember things the way l do, and l am able to?

What is provided as an answer for the process is this ….. our memory is an active process involving interpretation and construction or reconstruction if you wish covering many stages of the moment of memory in question … what we do in essence is actually re-create the memory from scratch like a computer and we store little bits of code and so when my brain decides to draw back the memories from Age 10, 1973 then l am drawing back small codes of information and recreating that moment and that MAY also entail embellishment because as my mind ages the memories or coded bits of data corrode and so my imagination then jumps on board and starts to reconstruct the memory using other bits of code.

It was a fascinating read, never mind when it then dropped emotions into the mix ….but it confused me and l have been thinking about my memories and if l remember them as they are or are they being unbeknownst to me embellished differently to how they were first captured during the reconstruction mode?

It made me think back to the snapshots of a few of my very first memories …. This type of memory are the true snapshots, they’ll be very random and whilst there might be a story attached to them – l am only looking from the very first memory from my perspective through my eyes to the scene … [not backstory]

1966 – 3 years of age – walking with Henry bear under my arm, holding my mother’s hand
1966 – 3 years of age – green train engine – walking out of the toyshop with it because l loved the noise…
1967 – 4 years of age – collecting red back spiders with a lollypop stick …
1968 – 5 years of age – sitting in the hospital waiting room with my father. My Mother was giving birth to ….
1968 – 5 years of age – watching my Mother hide a strange looking dolly in my parents bedroom in Malaysia …

The Main Questions For you However are …

How do you remember moments in your life – what is your process for bringing your memories back to life?

Do you think the memories you have of your life from your yesterdays are an honest recollection – or do you think that they change with every re-telling?

in your opinion how deep is your long term memory?

What are some of your very first memories?

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23 thoughts on “How Well Do You Truly Deeply Connect, Reconnect and Recollect Your Life?

  1. The book Remember by Lisa Genova, who is a neuroscientist, is a very interesting exploration of memory. What stood out to me from that was that memories aren’t a representation of what actually happened; they’re based on what we noticed, paid most attention to, and thought was relevant, and they do change with each recollection.

    The earliest memory I have that I can think of is from when I was 4 and getting a ride to preschool from a friend’s mom. It’s plausible that what I remember is actually real, but I have no idea whether it is or not. Another interesting point from Lisa Genova’s book was that how convinced we are that a memory is accurate has no bearing on whether it actually is or not.

    1. Hey Ashley,

      Yes very much so … it’s been a real eye opener for me and my inner brain.

      Many of the stories l wrote for examples were written down years ago after they happened or in some cases when l was younger and l had them written down so l still remember them somewhat freshly.

      But ……. when you start to really examine memory as a concept and as a topic you start to see things differently also. You question the Thinking style behind each thought, you question each memory and then start to really see if it is FACTUAL or if we just want to believe it is.

      BUT then, that is Thrive – it’s all about a question of belief.

      i think if more people were to examine and investigate their memories, they might not be as positive as to what was real or not, l have questioned some of mine.

        1. I have said to Suze, that l can respect what he has written but l am not particularly fond of his style.

          What he is doing is nothing that l haven’t seen before from various people, but the Thrive Programme was originally written in 2007 and l think some of the teachings might be a little antiquated now and might need reviewing again.

          It all comes down to what a person is willing to believe or not. The memory section is challenging.

  2. I do not consciously have a process for bringing memories back. But many things trigger them: the photographs on the wall, questions people ask about the past, current events that are similar to things I experienced before, people reminiscing at a birthday party or reunion, etc.

    My memories are honest but they are not some factual representation of truth. My siblings might recall certain events differently because they experienced them differently. I am sure some of my stories change over time, especially as I receive new information that triggers a new understanding. A child sees some things that he can only understand when he is an adult.

    I am not sophisticated in the study of memories so do not even understand the 3rd question. I definitely have memories from age 4 and probably even age 3 if I went back and linked them to dates of the events. When I was 4 my brother Rory died at 14 months old. I can remember him but our 3 year old brother could not.

    1. ……… My memories are honest but they are not some factual representation of truth. My siblings might recall certain events differently because they experienced them differently. I am sure some of my stories change over time, especially as I receive new information that triggers a new understanding. A child sees some things that he can only understand when he is an adult…..

      Hey Geoff, and that statement is so very true.

  3. I have “snapshot” type memories from around age 3. I only know the age by where we lived at the time.

    One is light & shadows through blinds

    One is a man who had both legs amputated at knee, running after a Frisbee

    One is seeing “Santa” sneak into my preschool class during “nap time”

    One is pinning my baby brother’s cloth diaper. (I guess I was trying to be helpful even at age 3)

    I think a lot of my good memories from Ago have faerie dust sprinkled on them

    I usually retrieve memories by where I was, who I was with, what age…

    Memories are triggered by music or places, sometimes random memories come from unknown places to say hello

    I’ve never been able to think in pictures. Visualize things. I think in words🤷🏼‍♀️ I don’t see words, I just “think” words.

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