Once A Leopard Always A Leopard!

Originally Titled – Socks Rock But Shoes Don’t!
Originally Written April 2016
Published to The Tee Shirt Blogger – November 2017
Transferred to A Guy Called Bloke May 2018
Last time Reblogged May 2019
Autism Directory
Classic Eggshell Moments – Redbubble Designs

It’s funny how we change as people isn’t it?

They say – who is They – you ask?

Well, the THEY’s in this world, or the Greys as l sometimes call Them, and l don’t mean like the little grey green people from outer space [although close], but those [also known as They] who seemingly deem what is normal society, again we ask for Them [also known as Those and They] to define normal, alas, seemingly they cannot. However, this doesn’t stop, They, Those or Them from still dictating what is supposed to be in accordance to Their [aka Those, They, Them] eyes.

But we do change and trust me when l say l have been non-stop changing since l first penned this article way back in 2016 – five years of continuous change and for me as an Aspie, that has seen and witnessed some real doozies! Most of the biggest changes were performed on the last 18 months especially – l have both surprised myself and surpassed milestones of personal achievements of mental yoga with these changes.

When l sat down five years ago and decided to call this article Socks Rock, Shoes Don’t l was a very different person to the person who sits here typing the revision article slightly baffled as to what this post was actually about .. yes of course l am kidding, but in those five years my body has changed considerably, my mind has changed also of course, it has become more experienced to changes and perhaps a little wiser … but l was looking at this article and thinking – Is this still you pal?

The design l originally was referring to was a design that enjoyed a short life as a design on display for general public, but l only ever sold three in the design itself – it was viewed however 134 times according to my Redbubble statistics dashboard, but only three people decided to make the financial decision to purchase it. it was never bought in a tee shirt style, only as a sticker.

It launched as a design in May 2016, but was taken off by October 2016, almost five years ago today. The design l refer to you can see below …

Design currently not available!

The design represented hypersensitivity, of which l was an acute sufferer with five years plus ago. The title came from the fact that l detested wearing shoes and preferred wearing socks only. I found the restrictions of footwear to be almost painful. Today, thankfully l no longer have that problem – but l still prefer to walk around in socks mostly BUT, l still have issues walking barefoot.

I still can’t walk barefoot on and in certain conditions – so scrap linoleum, wooden and tiled floors – still can’t do it and if l must, l try NOT to have my bare feet on those surfaces for too long. I still struggle to walk barefoot on wet grass, but l can now walk on dry soft grass – l can’t walk in sloppy mud barefoot and get awkward if l have to wear walking boots in the stuff as well. Irrelevant that walking boots are designed to walk on an assortment of terrains – BUT l am better now than l was, and l can now wear my walking boots in earthen natural floors as in if l am walking in a wood or on dirt [provided it is dry]. [But not wet and not sloppy!] If there is sloppy and slippy mud, it can only be Wellington Boots! Sadly, some things never change, but l am getting better!

For a man today who works with compost and worm farms, you might be surprised to read that l still have considerable issues with certain materials and substances on my hands and inbetween my fingers … they can freak me out. My hypersensitivity to certain things at times is off the scales and then with other things, or things that many would think would be an issue l have no troubles with what so ever. A strange fact is l MUST wear gloves at all times, because l cannot under any circumstances have dirt on my hands – it just freaks me out – it’s not like it has never happened, for it has, but l can count the times l have had dirt on my hands as an aware adult to this problem and whilst the two thumbs are down, not all 8 fingers are!

My fingers are incredibly sensitive to certain things and the strange thing with that is, women l used to date used to love my feather like touch delivered with my finger tips, but l can’t stand that kind of sensitivity of my own skin.

The sensation for me is almost earth shattering and painful, to me soft touch or any type of acute hypersensitivity is like having broken glass and hot sharp knives rubbed over my skin, it is really quite terrible and yet my touch was described once as feathery air – go figure! I love touching silky things, skin was also one of my favourite ‘things’ to touch, my fingers adore water and feeling water on my finger tips can at times arouse me … it takes all sorts, you know!

Backaways when younger, my mind used to trip the light fantastic on a regular basis, my brain bounced off the sides of my head all day to loud noises, bright colours, strange sights in a good and bad way pending what was going on at the time … thankfully as l have aged, life is now marginally easier but to a degree only, for there are also huge negatives – an example of the negative is that some days l can’t for instance listen to loud music or sometimes any music whatever the decible range for longer than 30 seconds even if background because it can literally fry my brain and l do find this very sad indeed as l love music!!

Some of you may recall, that l used to write blog posts with Scrappy in the office and we were listening to heavy metal and rave, but now that music and the vibrations of that for too long burns my brain – so l don’t listen to music that much anymore. Short bursts only – although there is another reason and that is because the moment music starts – any music – strange things start to happen with my brain again – l see colours and shapes and numbers and patterns and whilst this is NOT new as an experience, years ago when younger it used to help me create, these days, it is like my head has walked into a minefield of cacophonous misadventure and it feels to me like someone is finger nailing the chalk board!!

Music used to be a switch off to the world downtime, now music has become an enemy!

Years ago, clothing was a major problem for me, everything scratched – the secret to success for me was to mostly buy second hand clothing so l could benefit from the worn feeling – years later thankfully l no longer have that problem. Now, it is mostly certain styles l can’t stand being on my skin – if it is too close and if it is too baggy – so, like the Three bears Porridge – my clothing has to be just right – not skin tight and not too baggy or loose fitting, but a little above regular.

I found that in order to find footwear easier, the answer was to buy one size bigger – so whereas l am a natural 8 which l think is an American 8.5 and a European 41, l now buy a 42 or a 9. With tops as in tee shirts and sweaters etc, l buy a large as opposed to my medium and trousers l buy a 34 as opposed to a 33. It awards me a just right snug fitting.

But l can now tolerate clothing labels which is quite exciting in my world and l no longer feel compelled to become the hulk and rip and tear off an offending tee shirt as l used to do!

Clothing aside there are still certain environmental factors l can’t abide for too long and as said, somethings never change or as l like to say at times, once a leopard always a leopard as in you can’t change the spots, but you will get older. There are some things l steer well clear of to deliberately avoid over sensitivity issues occurring.

[Even my Fitbit on my wrist risks being torn off and stamped on, because it can cause friction at times and it takes a lot of patience on my part to get the fitting just right.]

I have my limits and boundaries still – l avoid crowds, l avoid loud noisy places and for the better part l actually tend to still avoid people as a whole – noisy nosey and smelly things that they are!

So, am l the same person that originally wrote this article?

Yes of course!

But and it is a big – BUT out of 10 how close am l and am l still spot to spot so to speak in feline talk?

Well not exactly no, but as far as the 2021 leopard goes in comparison to the 2016 leopard – l am wiser and more savvy to who l am and more controlled and experienced and more motivated and now, more, much more learned to my Asperger’s or autism – so l guess Negative wise on hypersensitivity about 60% or 6/10 but on the Positive side l am closer to 100% or 10/10 – l am just now more understanding and accepting of my limitations. This makes my life way more exciting in a way, a special way and thankfully no longer as challenging.

Is there a design today in the collection that fits these feelings more appropriately? Well not as in soul defining perhaps – but l have always rather liked this one below – which is no longer in the sales collection – but might make a comeback.

N31 – Currently Unnavailable.

ClassicEggshell Shop | Redbubble

17 thoughts on “Once A Leopard Always A Leopard!

  1. We all have things that we don’t like to touch or feel. For me, and it’s a recent development, I don’t like handling old worn out money in note form. It just felt yucky!

    1. That’s an interesting sensation to suddenly experience Sadje, is it the actual material or is it that in recent months, since the pandemic started and money was especially over here not always dealt with directly – people thought handling money would make people infected.

      1. It is a bit of both. I try to do transactions with my card only but at times, one needs to use paper money too. For the clean new ones, I’m okay but the grubby ones set my teeth at edge.

        1. I can relate marginally to that, years ago, l found that l couldn’t stand holding the half penny here in the UK which were still incirculation when l got back in the late 70’s. They felt awkward in my hands.

        2. I don’t like coins at all. They are hard to store as there’s no pocket in the wallet for them. They just keep on accumulating!

        3. There used to be a pocket for coins and l think l still have one in my own wallet, but l agree it’s not a very practical space for coinage as is.

          The world is leaning more heavily into no coin use, and yet people still use cash – l still use cash when out and about and tend to use my card online.

          But coins have a nasty way of as you say building up …the bigger denominations get used easy enough, but the shrapnel as l call it, doesn’t sadly.

        4. Over here they rupee coins are almost without value. And the prices are never rounded off of save the hassle of receiving and paying in coins.

  2. I have hypersensitivity at times. It’s partially because I’m a Highly Sensitive Person and partially from the fibromyalgia. I actually have marcaine as one of the meds in my pump, so that helps dull my nerves a bit.

    Ben is more Hyposensitive. He bangs his body into things. He will go down the hall banging against the walls like he’s in the Ah-ha Video.

    I’m sorry to read that the music is too much now.☹ I’ve had moments of synesthesia but it doesn’t happen all the time. I’d be sad to lose Music, but I can understand how overwhelming noise can be. It physically hurts! Prickly, barbed, stabby, stinging… horrible!

    Your Mental Yoga is astounding! Normal Theys have difficulty with change, Spectrum folk REALLY have a difficult time, and you’ve managed things I would’ve said would break you. Even if there were some close ones, you should be proud of the flexibility you’ve accomplished!

    I like that quote. I usually run the other way from every trend. I find something is popular, and I immediately stay away😂😂 Just my stubbornness showing. I’m definitely proud that I’m not normal! It’s more fun just to be me😉

    💌💌

    1. Hey Gramma, l remember a couple of years ago reading about Ben’s need to bang into things, it reminded me of Temple grandin’s box jacket, that need to feel the pressure.

      Music and the lack of has saddened me immensely in truth … l started to notice it quite significantly towards the end of may when l was still creating the Hello posts and realised that something had to give.

      The Down Memory Lane series – l can just tolerate because l am only listening to 30-45 second slots whilst drawing up the post, but it is sad.

      I am impressed with how l have been with regards all the changes, there have been a few that have threatened to sink me – but l have still survived even those. another sign of the ageing process not causing me to meltdown but working with me thankfully.

      The synesthesia has worsened in the last year qand l at times struggle with it, such is life.

      I think there are many people that can feel the sensitivity charge at times, but many don’t recognise the problem and tend to ignore it or rather are able to ignore it more than say you or l might at times.

      It’s way better to be unpopular and proud to NOT be the same as the rest of the greys 🙂

  3. I can sure relate to your Fitbit issue. My shoe size has increased from 9.5 to 10.5 over the decades. I guess all the running flattens them out or I am still growing!

  4. My fibro and other issues make clothing a huge issue. I totally understand the feeling of something being like razors. Others think I am crazy, but I have learned only soft non constrictive anything on or near my body. I have changed over time, and I think you nailed it. I have learned to adjust to things. I have more and more sensitivities as I get older. It is not easy by any means.

    1. Oh l can relate to that so much, when younger especially and back then l didn’t know about the sensitivity issues of autism.

      But it was the seams of socks, which now are not that bad thank goodness, but why they can’t make seamless socks is beyond me.

      With shoes it was the overall restriction which is why l now buy a size bigger.

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