An incident early part of this week, that l’ll not go into made me think of this question. I have asked variations of it over the last couple of years, and of course the conversation last night with my mobile phone service provider made me think further. As l said to Sadje only this morning, l wish l had a transcript of the conversation …. because the lady on the phone was becoming so frustrated with me because she failed to understand that l wasn’t ‘that social’, that l didn’t need a mobile phone to be social – but ultimately that l didn’t care to be social in the way she believed l should have been.
Let’s be honest, all she wanted to hear was for me to say “Sure, double what l pay per month for your new fancy handset oh goody, a new shiny phone all for me, thank you so much, super, duper, lovely!”
That’s all she wanted from me, instead she got fifty shades of why l don’t want a silly shiny social phone … and l think l shocked her a bit. Kudos to her for endeavouring to put her cue card training to the test – she brought out all sorts of lines for how having a phone would increase my prowess with making new friends and one of her lines which l found quite amusing was ……….. ‘You can never have too many grown up friends!”
That stumped for a minute and for a while l actually thought l was speaking to a variation of Jexi from the above clip – making your life better!
Once the phone call was over and done with and l had published my ‘rant’ last night, l sat down and gave this whole friendship thing a lot of thought ………… ‘You can never have too many grown up friends!” Really? But then l asked myself, well how many friends do we really need as adults? What stages are there to friendship?
For me it starts out as someone l see a little bit, facial recognition, like on a walk maybe, a smile shared, a hello and a wave – that falls into the casual acquaintance bracket, then it steps up l suppose casual friendships – like it might do with people say in the reserve where l have just started volunteering. From that point it MIGHT proceed further to where l spend some time with people – although l tend to feel a bit icky at that point, because l don’t like spending lots of time with lots of people – l spend sparing moments of time with people, prefering my own company more than others.
I am not saying l don’t like socialising with people – l do in small time pockets, but sandpapering my face and dousing myself in salted vinegar afterwards has at times the same appeal as socialising … much of the time social conversation can be banal and mundane. Not always, but then l don’t have a teeshirt that says being social is overrated for nothing …
I don’t have many close friends – l don’t not have any – for a l do – but not many, l have two but they don’t live in the UK. I also have two casual closeish friends with Rose and Baz at the shop of the same name – l like spending time with them – but l am not always there. I have quite a few casual friends, but most of those are also overseas and principally virtual.
Following on from close friends is much closer or intimate friends and l only have one true mate and that is Suze.
But, l thought on about this ……. ‘You can never have too many grown up friends!” and when l counted them, l realised that l had several, but in real time [as opposed to online] l only had three real friends, lots of acquaintances and the like but only really one great mate and 2 closeish friends … how many friends do we really need or l should say how many grown up friends do we really need?
Suze states simply that she needs more than she has and believes her circle is too small of friends of her own age group ….. l still think too many friends is overkill – l am not some kind of troll hoarding bodies! I think between 2 – 6 might be enough with an average of 4. BUT …
How many friends does a grown up actually need?
Let me know your thoughts below …