|Strollings, Pootlings and Musings|
|Season 8 – Summer 2021|
|Series 8 – New Starts Always Start At The Start!|
|Friday 016th July 2021|
|“Begin as you mean to go on, and go on as you began….”|
|“Are you finding your balance? Are you overthinking things? Are you following so many mental paths that you’re getting lost and too far from the reason you started the journey? You need some good pants wetting, belly laughs! Or maybe you need a good tumble in the sheets – Both are good for clearing out the cobwebs and putting a bounce in your step!”|
A close friend of mine wrote the words above to me today in an email and l have included them as a way of answering both here in this post partly and l will answer her back in email later also. But l found these words interesting …. and l wanted to address them of sorts.
I started my marketing course this week – it is NOT principally a thinking course, it’s a doing course, it’s a take action course – but it is making me think deeply on the actions l am taking. Am l overthinking this week? No more than any other week, but l am thinking and because of my thinkings and thoughts and the think tank method that is the very way of my brain, l have found myself exploring new lines of change. I was already changing, but l am changing even more, and thinking more and exploring more …. yes l need a really good laugh and yes l really could do with a decent shag – however, the last part is probably NOT going to happen this year – not being negative, just being honest. Sex of course, isn’t everything – but it does indeed put lead in your pencil and a bounce in your two step!
I have been asking myself lots of questions this week – deep penetrative questions – those questions that dig deep into the layers – the layers of our default brain – the area where we accept the way our life is and don’t do anything about it – we all know that area … the same place you can find an aversion to deep seated change – yeah, that area.
What do l want from life? What do l want from my life? What do l want to do with my life? If you can answer those you can move forward, you can pass GO and collect your £200.
I have asked myself these three significant questions since Sunday of last week and everyday l have given thought to them and their answers ……it boils down to one true question l think…
“What do you want Matier that would make you feel more complete?”
“I want to be passionate again – l want to believe in something of importance, l want to make a difference, l want to be someone that makes something happen, I want to make an impact – l want to make a difference that means something!!”
That’s what l want, l am not bothered about being happy as l just don’t buy into that whole shebang bull of being happy – l would like to be content with me as a person again. I have done things with my life, achieved great accomplishments, been seen as doing the right thing ….. none of that brings happiness and it doesn’t always bring contentment – it brings with it a sense of purpose and direction and point – that l have done something with my time whilst here on the planet.
Of late l haven’t felt that way, principally, this feeling, this lack of passion has been with me for a few years and l don’t like not being passionate about something, it makes me feel less worthy and naked. There are great times to be naked l assure you, but l am not wanting to be naked right now … l want to be passionate again .. l want to be able to embrace that charged enthusiasm for something … l want to be able to be hyperfocused again on something and start to look at something of value, something that means something to not just me, but others too.
I suppose l want to feel worthy again and l think once l do, then l will regain my balance and maybe not look so lost…
So it’s been an interesting week thus far ……………… also something else happened today which is a good thing … l volunteered to work 9am – 12.30pm Wednesday mornings in the place l love the most – Gazen Salts Reserve – l think that will help me reclaim some of my balance and purpose and help me to rekindle my passion.
I really love nature and wildlife, composting, the environment, my worms … these are fast becoming true passions and l think that by performing the voluntary work in the reserve this will help to cement my passion properly – l also think it will truly enable me to see more clearly the path of The Authentic Recycler – what do l want? I want to take all my existing true passions and make them make a difference to someone else. I think, that is what l want the most.
This evening’s walk was a good walk, hope you enjoy the photographs.
Thanks for reading …. catch you next time.