Till the end of a blink …

Till the end of a blink

I blink, several times,
…several times, blink, blinking, rapid blinking,
… l blink till l don’t.

Sometimes, at times, not all times,
… but sometimes, at times – the world crashes around you,
For no reason nor rhyme,
…. a manic nonsense overwhelms you,
a hundred thoughts at once daze your inner balance,
… knock you off your kilter, throw you into turmoil,.
crash your sense of righteousness in a callous,
attack that can make your brain boil,
too many thoughts making a mockery of what is supposed to be real,
….  sending you in to a quandary of disbelief,
just too much, too many, nothing ordinarily ideal,
for someone who might simply be seeking release,
from the chaos of the mind ….

you repeat, you curse,

from the chaos of the mind ….

from the chaos of the mind ….

from the chaos of the mind ….

You Scream!

from the chaos of the bloody mind!!!

From the chaos of the mind, the fracturing of the disturbed,
…. to cease the reoccurrence of a single occurrence!
To be able to step back into the regularity of return,
without feeling the loathing of total abhorrence,
of who they are, who they think they are,
… how others see them as they are, or think that they are, or, or …
how far,
they think they see them or inside their scars!
The scars of their minds, behind their eyes, the lines of years
of hurt and hatred, of pain and abuse,
fears …
and of total uselessness, and blackened and bloodied bruises!

To be over in a blink …
a thought to be given thought,
deep thought, a thought to be given deep thought
not deep-thinking thoughts, but a singular line of thought,
to be given depth,
… to make sense,
of that depth,
a blink,
a link,
a chink,
in the armour of a person’s soul,
think of a link or a blink in the chink,
…. of darkly deviousness and thoughts, of darkly devious thoughts,
or thought, given depth,
to make sense of a single blink,
think of the depth of a single,
…. Blink?

Is that enough to calm the mind,
… the overworking darkly deviousness of the mind,
to stop the manic thoughts,
giving them depth,
to make sense of the darkness, the uncontrolled urges,
the randomness of thought,
deep thoughts taking a plunge,
a plunge into the obscure darkness of

I,I,I, I don’t know,
if that’s enough to stop the thoughts, the darkness of thoughts, the crazed thoughts,
will it stop the dangerous flow,
of darkly devious thoughts and distraught and fraught,
the inner maddening fraud of man,
woman and child too,
… all of the thoughts of a society of the caring human,
those who never see you, but just through ..
like you are not there,
they’ll not care,
when you’ve gone, or are going, or once was or who were you,
they’ll care not if you were ever even merely a you, true,
to you, or whoever or merely who,
they’ll not care or take thought or do,
anything, but carry on with who they think they are,
they’ll walk on and continue to go about their business,
they’ll go far,
too because they don’t have to care less,
about the crazed and darkly devious and bizarre,
thoughts of what you were when you were once a something,
a somebody, other than a nothing with merely thoughts of the unusuality of life
and darkness of the mind, a mind overwhelmed  by everything,
you with the crazy dark thoughts and scars behind cowled eyes!

Is there to be peace,
or release,
or even just hope
… at the end of the rope
will there be silly smiles upside down,
or just sad frowns?
Do you think …
… that life can change or be over in a blink,
do ya?
Do the pressures,
become lesser?
A simple blink … a life changing blink,
what do you think,
will the lights glint in the chinks?
will colourful hues dance,
 and bounce and prance in the shadows of chance,
When the mind melts down,
and smiles become frowns,
not just upside down,
but they are gone,
when the deviousness dons,
that look, the rearranging blink,
what do you think?
Will the pace and peace be found at the end of the swing,
the end of a blink?
How long is a blink anyway,
Where does a blink start and finish ..
 … what of the unblinking,
the unthinking,
Swinging in the breeze,
finally at peace,
without a care in the world,
unblinking …..

Simply swaying …
with finality.

© Rory Matier 2021

Poetry Directory

30 thoughts on “Till the end of a blink …

  1. I like your words, but I don’t like my interpretation of this poem. I may be reading something into it that wasn’t intended, but I see a cliff’s edge.

    You DO paint a vivid picture with your words!

    1. Well if you are reading it as it is then you might be the only one seeing it as it was intended to be read?

      It is a dark poem about suicide.

      Am l feeling that way? No, of course not, but l did write the other day that even l have dark thoughts and think darker poetry … l am in the mood for writing dark poetry l guess.

      If however, you didn’t read it like that, then you could interpret it as a finality poem of the crazed mind going through a manic episode and wondering how long is a blink and when does it end?

      1. I read it as manic and suicidal. Or maybe not manic, per se… but yeah. I read it correctly.
        I’m VERY happy to know you aren’t feeling that way currently!

        1. It is all down to how a person reads it – l wrote it to be read at different speeds .. if l was to record it as an audio poem, people would l think really understand how it was written …but the first half is to be read fast as in manic, the next quarter in a panic state and the final quarter in the understanding that you have made a final decision.

  2. Either I know you pretty well, or my Empath sense was tuned in, cuz I actually caught the slowing down… the “I, I, I, I don’t know” is good. It’s like a pause of uncertainty, and looking around.

    1. That’s the bit where the indecision steps in – as much as this is a fictional piece, l can relate to all of it – l remember an incident if not several between the years of 2007 – 2012 that were like 75% of this poem. Whilst l didn’t hang … l have ugly scars to show my own battles both internally and externally. I think at times we just have to open up some of these wounds of ours to step up our own game of mending.

  3. I think a lot depends on who and what is around you. Society influences things. More so now than ever before.

    The best lesson is to learn to love yourself only for yourself – once you do that, truly do that… then it’s easier

    Don’t conform for society – or what you think they want – it will never be enough

    Be who you are and who you want to be.

    Don’t hurt anyone else obviously

    But believe in yourself for yourself ❤️ that’s where strength comes from ❤️

    1. Oh, my Dear, what a journey this takes one on! It’s like diving to the bottom of the ocean and coming back to the surface with a single precious pearl.

      I have always loved poetry and the gifts it shares. Sensing the emotional power, the ability to heal the deepest unspoken wounds of others by sharing the depths of one’s own travails, allowing that knowing to seep through the words, of being in the company of another who has been there, who understands, who has survived and is willing to share the experience in effort to offer comfort and hope.

      It is such a beautiful gift, Rory! And you are doing a great work by sharing it.
      A heartfelt, “Thank you!”, from us all. 💞

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