Strollings, Pootlings and Musings

Strollings, Pootlings and Musings
Season 7 – Spring 2021
Series 7 – Inevitable Changes
Thursday 29th April 2021
The Dreams of Mirren

Today was my first stroll since last Sunday, it wasn’t a walk, it was a stroll, a gentle stroll and where best can l find peace for a gentle stroll? That’s right the quiets of the reserve. Today was the first day l felt like l could take a stroll. Suze was with me yesterday, mentally l could walk anywhere, but physically – l could walk nowhere. Twenty rounds with a size 9 baseball bat wildly swinging internally is sufficient to tell you that walking on that stomach would not be a good idea.

This week, l have been forced by my body to take advice from my body … YOU are not well, and unless you wish to be called forever more The Numpty of Sandwich then our advice to you is to take it easy. Ignore Fitbit, ignore your OCD, take a break, your body’ll not instantly turn to flab and weakened muscle mass – be kind to yourself … and as l have aged, l find l listen to my body more.

My body is not like it was when l was twenty, thirty, forty or even fifty … now it is different. My mind, well that’s another matter … my mind is wild and active, and vibrant and colourful and mentally unstable at times in a nice way … but not always. I have dark thoughts – and currently l am training them … but then l have always had a darkened side to me, a warped side, a side that doesn’t always see things the way that some folks might … l am very curious and throughout my life that curiousness has rewarded me as well as gotten me into deep waters and troubles.

I was for many years known as Mr Inappropriate – the man who could be relied upon to swallow his entire foot in improper’ness … curiosity can kill the proverbial cat and nearly kills an awkward Aspie too!

I think the world back then was more forgiving, it wasn’t looking for excuses to fly off the handle at the slightest nudge of oopsy and err. It could apply logic and decide rightly or wrongly if something was said correctly or accidentally … but that world is no longer living on this planet. Now our planet teeters on the edge of an almighty chasm of danger between peoples and countries and cultures and so on … we have to be double careful what we say, what we write and how we come across as individuals.

People want difference, and yet they don’t want a difference that makes them look different unless they were the ones to create that very difference … in the first place, and then they change their minds when others adopt the difference because it means they are no longer ‘that’ different and to copy the difference, might offend them …. of course. I am not saying we should go around upsetting all the apple carts with determined deliberation … but surely logic MUST play a part in comprehensions.

My mind is incredibly active at present and springs from one tangent to another form of abstractivity and back again. I am seeking stimulation to try and calm my mind down and so l find myself immersed in dark gothic literatures, creepy and spooky writing and hundreds of miscellanous topics covering all sorts of things and the more l dive into the unusual, the more darkly my mind absorbs these things and of course … my mind then dreams and creates, and conjures and imagines and when l am unwell like l have been this week, it explodes into strange phenomenas all by itself….

I am still not fully 100% back to my health like l was for my last ‘stroll’, but l am better than l was and that is a good start …It was good to get out for my stroll today, the sun when you were in it was warm, but the shade was cold, l felt it more as l was literally strolling and not walking fast … but it gave me ample time to take the gallery below. Hope you enjoy it.

Gallery – blackbird, pond, wooden bridge full colour and denim, wooden bench, wooden bridge over Delf stream, spring bluebells, posing robin, pink flowers and yellow daffs on water.

Just before l went to bed last night, l read this article about Helen Mirren someone who l happen to admire a great deal … did it affect my night’s sleep?

MM, well maybe, a smidgen …

The Dreams of Mirren

This week alone,
I have had some strange ol’ dreams,
… it’s like life has thrown,
Me into the world of the hellish death scene!
Never mind crazed vibrancy and colourful wildness,
… these last few days,
Have seen the birth of a newfound and deathly darkness,
That has left me in the state of betwixt haze!

Weird dreams have absolutely nothing on the madness…
…. That has carelessly swirled around in my head,
On these nights of marish feverishness …
And debauched vividity and shocking dread!
Why, l tell you l will…
…. I went and fell into a deeply dark and dank hole,
That seemingly had no bottom and somehow still,
I managed to crawl right out of that steeply upturned knoll!

Yet, when l emerged, l had a crawling upon me,
… the largest hairiest and foulest ugliest spider,
Anyone has seen, that was just beyond plain creepy,
it crawled up my arm like an insidious serpent from hell,
… but when it got to my elbow,
It changed and suddenly grew a crab like shell,
….. and proceeded to slither and slime real slow,
Towards my downturned face,
…. It cared not for the horrors it did so bring to the surface,
It’s purpose if that is such a thing,
Was to display to me, the burdens of my slumbering furnace,
…. My mind caught up in a state of continued blurring!

But the moment that thing from the very pits of the decaying beneath,
… was a mere snatch away from my face,
It turned into a hideous warted toad with bloodstained teeth…
…and quickened its pace,
And leapt into my wide open and screaming mouth,
…. And shot down my throat to the base of my insides,
But it didn’t stop, it simply carried on south,
… dangerously and painfully boring my organs into bloody divides!

I know not what happened at that point,
…. Because what l next remember is having my head slewn,
From my shoulders by a gorgeous assassin,
Draped only in silken finery s and golden balloons …
… really? I asked myself at the recollection,
Of the night afore the morning after,
Waking up groggy as if l had a wild orgasmic night on the tiles,
Drunken and splayed, doped up by weed and laughter!
With my drawers around my feet and my face filled with grisly smiles!

But still, l wasn’t fully awake even at the thought,
Of whether my scantily attired killer,
Was indeed wearing air fillings or in fact nought!
But more concerned with an oddity that was even more familiar!

That in my dream, this orgy of unexpected unnaturality,
… what was more haunting, than being internally eaten alive,
By a crab like shelled and warty monstrosity,
Was that l had been decapitated and therefore deprived,

Of my very existence by a vamp and a dame to boot!
… a seductress of esteemed voluptuousness,
A true diva of the big screen, a mixture of saucy and cute,
….. and yet, despite all of that and none the less,

The reality of a night filled with death, decay, and decomposition,
… the one thing that baffles me the most,
Was that my killer was none other than Helen Mirren…
…. the Red assassin and the enchantress of Excalibur had made me toast!

I know….
Right ….

Bizarre or what?

© Rory Matier 2021
Poetry Directory
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24 thoughts on “Strollings, Pootlings and Musings

  1. I am glad you were up to a gentle stroll. A small step toward normalcy. I am so sorry your body is in such severe pain. I too have learned over the years (well most of the time) to listen to my body and rest as needed.

    Great phots as always. Gentle hugs. Rest as best you can.

  2. What a fantastical dream and the poem is even more wonderful. Bad tummy often give us bad dreams but yours was extra special. Lovely pictures

        1. Slowly getting back into the place l want to be, l have decided to wipe out this week, FitBit can take a running leap, health first, OCD second 🙂

        2. Fitbit won’t mind at all if it lived on your nightstand for a week or so. As for OCD, you’ve too show it who’s the boss.

    1. Hey Lisa,

      Well l am not far from 60, but l should have started to listen to my body l think when l was forty the way l feel some days today 🙂

  3. I know what you mean about people being more forgiving in the old days. Now everything is so polarized. There was a FB post the other day from a friend who said she is PROUD to be part of the intolerant left. Lots of others agreed. To me, this makes them like the intolerant right… people who can’t bear one iota of deviance from Trump worship. Ick!!!

  4. Lovely pics! I like the “denim” filter.
    Glad you were able to get out and stroll.

    The spider/crab/toad makes sense, but why would Helen Mirren want to lop your head off? And gold balloons? 😂 wery wery interwesting 🧐

    1. I don’t know, equally as much as l don’t know why me and Tom Hanks had a thang going on the other month.

      But the interwesting thwought does make me wonder or vwould that be wvonder if it is indeed Freudian?? Is this some deeply sexual head lopping syndrome or something?

      Am l now developing the hwotz for much older wvomen?

  5. Woah! That was some dream, and the poem is amazing! I like to be in control of how my body feels! When it is time to rest, I let it rest and when it is time to to move around, I let it move around. I find the key is not to do anything in excess. Sometimes mind over matter has its advantages. 60 is the new 40, you know. Keep on keepin’ on!

    1. Thanks Eugenia – interesting concept – how does your mind feel considering how much organised overwhelm you introduce to it daily with your data inputs with all social media, blogging and writing?

      1. I’ve always been an organized person, however, became even more so during my insurance career. It was the only way I could survive. Back in those days, the more you could do, the more they piled on. During my last job, I was a Commercial Insurance Underwriter for 12 states and travelled, as well. Besides the insurance aspect, I had to be computer savvy on several software programs. I don’t know how they operate now, but I had 3 screens plus my laptop screen. I learned a lot about computers during those times and I am grateful for that. I seem to work better when there is a little bit of stress involved.

        1. i am very organised person, although at times the chaos theory runs deep too.

          I used to be a retail investigator for fraud in one of the many roles l had careers in and l used to thrive on stress. Back then l was a seriously heavy smoker too [60-80 day], popping 45 proplus a day and l only slept once every 10 weeks or something – my body was full steam ahead until perhaps 50, then my body started to age very quickly.

          My mind is still very active and l am a terrible mental fidget – it takes a lot for me to not be restless and so l work very hard to multitask as much as l can to tire me out mentally. Problem is, these days unlike ten years ago, my concentration is travelling at warp speed, whereas 10 years ago that speed was managable, now, l have to hypefocus very hard to get from a – b without distraction.

          I used to love stress, but then in my life l have had three mental breadowns and two physical breakdowns, eventually it all catches up. There are many benefits to being on the spectrum and equally as many defaults too.

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