I overjeard something earlier this afternoon whilst l was in my loungeroom sorting through ‘vegetable seeds’ and that was a mother outside my window talking to her children. She said ” I am your mother and l will always know you and l know best!”
This reminds me when my own mother decides to use the phrase ‘”I carried you for 9 months l know you above all others!” Alongside the other phrase she uses …. ” I am your mother l know what’s best!”
To hear this from my mother at my age, which is now nearly 58 l find these phrases somewhat comical and pretty far fetched!
I know my mother probably more than she knows me – l remember my mother from old as well when she was younger, and l know her from today/now but admittedly l don’t know all of her today …. but from our conversations and the way she continually brings up the past, l know her pretty well really – because some things with her never change … for starters she doesn’t seem to move on and is even now an extremely bitter woman towards a man who will have been dead three years this October … but like so many – at times she also suffers terribly from selective memory!
She has become accustomed to lying to me quite a bit over the years and that is no different to when we were both younger and living under the same roof and l was truly her son growing up in the same house as her. She lies mostly about contact with my sister … don’t get me wrong, l am not bothered if she speaks to my sister, they are mother and daughter … but l don’t know who it is or which one insists that l am not to know they speak to each other. But this just reeks of the same behaviour between my father and my sister – as in all very clandestine.
My mother and l are not that close, we are, but we aren’t. The last time l saw my mother [pandemic aside] was twice in 2018, thrice in 2017, twice in 2016 and once in 2015. Previous to that between the years of 2009 – 2015 l saw her once, then between the years of 2000 – 2008 l saw her three times. So since the year 2000 to now 2021 l have seen her 12 times in 21 years. The lack of contact doesn’t really bother me and despite her rants and moans at times, l am not totally sure it bothers her that much either.
We keep in contact via telephone and in those 21 years l have probably called her on average once a week.
My mother doesn”t know me – the man of today – inside out like she boasts, because l change every year, l evolve and l move on – and l don’t tell her everything about me or my life – however she insists she does and yet when tested many a time she says she doesn’t know x, y and z. She has been that way especially since l told her of my official Asperger’s diagnosis in 2008 which she still insists of today it is NOT her son that has it, but that bastard of the man she was married to who never had an official diagnosis and always suspected his son was mentally ill and not simply autistic.
You see, l think mothers know their children when they are young and probably still know them to a certain degree if the contact held is always present ………. but l do not think ‘mothers know best’ when they have very little physical contact with their children.
So, to the ‘mothers, grandmothers, daughters who are now mothers and so on and on and on’ – what do you think?
Do Mothers Really Know Their Children Best – Always?
Let me know below. Cheers.