Far, Far From Home Or Are You?

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During my morning walk yesterday, l overheard a small snippet of chat between two chaps – one was in his 60’s whilst the other was much younger, maybe in his 40’s and it went as such.

Chap 1 “Goodness, you are far far from home then really, being here in Kent?”

Chap 2 “Not really, but admittedly it’s been a while since l was truly home, but that’s life isn’t it? We are always moving, around aren’t we?”

Chap 1 “Well, not everyone is like that. I am a Kent lad, born and raised here in Sandwich, never strayed in all my 60 plus years. Kent is my home and l am not far from my true home either where l grew up as a boy”

This small conversation made me think about a lot of things, but in the main; travelling, being home based and locations but also, the line of “Far, Far From Home” made me think about what that truly meant? I never heard where Chap 2 originated from and l was hardly likely to ask, but then l thought well alrighty then Rory, where is home for you then?

Home for me as l joke is ‘wherever l hang my hat’ and currently my hat is on the coat stand here in Sandwich in Willow, but whilst this is my current home, l was trying to think where and what l might class as ‘Truly Home?’ Would the phrase, “Home is where your heart is at?” Hold more weight and truth?

I have lived in the United Kingdom since 1977 – l was born in 1963 and before 77, l lived in Australia and Malaysia. Although l left the UK in 1965 – so for 12 years l lived abroad, but for 43 years l have lived here. So, in essence, many could quite rightly state ‘Well Rory, your true home is the UK’. Yet, that doesn’t feel right either – l have never felt truly at ease here in England, l have never felt like it was my home … l did honestly love living in Australia and l considered that my real homeland. My Sister was born in Sydney, Australia … but considers England to be her true home.

If l were to then say ok, well if we exclude countries – where is or was my homestead then? I am still at a loss. After returning to England from Australia, then moving to North Wales for a while, then moving as a family down to Woking, in the County of Surrey where l lived from 1977 – 1984. From 1985 – 1993 l then moved around Surrey with work to places like Guildford and Kingston and Richmond and then moved to London for a while, then to Kent for a while, back to London again for a while. Then in the early 90’s l was constantly on the move and had no ‘home base’ at all – l simply rented apartments or lived in hotels … friends and family at the time likened me to a Nomad living a Nomadic existence!

From 1994 – 2015, in those years l had been, single, married and divorced and was also then living in and around Lincolnshire and Cambridgeshire in various locations. My final location in Lincolnshire was near to Spalding and l left there in 2015 when Suze and l started living together and took a leap of faith and moved to the Isle of Wight.

As a couple from 2015 – 2020 we lived in the Isle of Wight as just said and Kent and in those five years together we lived in a total of 5 locations ……. none of which were ever classed as a home for either of us.

So it’s very hard for me to even begin to wonder where my heart might be at with regards ‘truly home’ and l would agree with the sentiment of ” but that’s life isn’t it? We are always moving, around aren’t we?”

But that’s me … perhaps you have a different take on, so the questions are …

1] Which term do you personally prefer for you ‘Home is where l hang my hat or home is where my heart is?”

2] Do you consider where you are living now your true home or ar you still far, far from home?

3] Do you think the days when families used to live close to each other and held closer tight knit communities are still present or long gone?

Let me know below in the comment section.

32 thoughts on “Far, Far From Home Or Are You?

  1. I prefer home is where the heart is. I was born in Norfolk in 95, moved to Essex in 2010 and the came back to live in Norfolk in 2015 and have stayed. So, for me, Norfolk is definitely my home. As for families living by, my sister lives next door – although this is not always an advantage πŸ™‚

      1. Especially when kids are involved and the family member uses you left, right and centre.

  2. I doesn’t matter where you hang your hat so long as you can keep your boots on.
    (I can’t help connecting those two song titles together). πŸ˜†

    I lived in London for the first 25 years of life and when I go back, it doesn’t feel like the same place I left. It’s a good thing I feel at home where I live now.

    1. Hey Ian, nice dot to dot connection though πŸ™‚

      I can relate to that all too well. i was born in Hackney and although l don’t remember the London of 63. I remember London in the later 80’s and 90’s and how much l loved the cosmoplitan aspect of it – yet l returned there for a brief spell in 2006 and l hated it immensely – it just wasn’t the same place even after that short absence.

  3. My hat is in the closet and my heart is in my chest. It’s been decades since I considered anywhere “home”. For years ‘home sick’ was a very real thing for me and then…I realized wherever I was, I fit. That there was no such place as home for me. Just places I lived. Houses, apartments – just places to keep my ‘stuff’. Geographically – just another place to explore, some more interesting than others. Some I liked better than others, no real desire to go back to any of the places I’ve been. Many different states and places within the state, an odd country or two. I’ve moved so many times in my life that I’ve come to enjoy it – very much. I’ve lived in this particular place for 9 years – way too long. I’m itching to move – so much! Across the country – Yes, please. Another country altogether – Oh most definitely yes. I wasn’t always this way, quite the opposite actually. Now…I don’t belong anywhere, I belong everywhere. My home is me.

  4. 1] Which term do you personally prefer for you β€˜Home is where l hang my hat or home is where my heart is?” Home is most definitely where my heart is.

    2] Do you consider where you are living now your true home or are you still far, far from home? I’ve traveled to many places in my life, SO CAL is my true home.

    3] Do you think the days when families used to live close to each other and held closer tight knit communities are still present or long gone? Long long gone

    1. Hey Lauren, yes l think you are right regards answer 3 … and yet, l think this might be a westernised fact, for l know many alternative cultures live with their families still and the community with the family is very strong.

      I think that for many of us however, it is missing … but then we also have so many bad homestyles that would we want to continue to live at home?

  5. I’ve mostly stayed put. I lived in the same house from birth until high school graduation, and then I moved to the city where I live now. I moved around during university, but once that was out of the way, I moved into the place where I am now, and have no plans to go anywhere.

  6. I was born in Lahore, the capital of Punjab province, in Pakistan. I have lived here off and on since then. You can say that more of my life has been spent in this city than out of it. And I love living here.
    Lucky for us, all the of our children and their families are also living here, quite near to us. So yes home is where heart and family, friends are. And they are here in Lahore

    1. Hey MaSadje, l think we have discussed before how very community and family orientated you and your family are and that how lucky you are to have them all close by. It must be very warming and comforting too.

  7. Home is where my heart is. I’ve moved very few times in my life. I tend to settle into wherever I amπŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ SoCal is home for sure. I’ve traveled most of the Western U.S. and there’s just no place quite like SoCal. There is beauty everywhere, and I could be happy in a lot of places, but San Diego County is home.

    I don’t really want to be near any family except Ben & my daughters, and they are near. Younger stops by all the time.
    I think if families are close, they’ll stay close. If they’re not, they’ll go their separate ways. It’s the *relationship*, not the *kinship* that keeps families together or apart.
    Eastern cultures seem more family oriented than western, you’re right.

  8. interesting question, Rory! I never really thought about that before. To me, home is where my Heart is. And the Heart is wherever I AM. 😊

    I never, in my whole life lived anywhere longer than 6 years at a time, until I married Bud. I was 58 years old at the time. We’ve been in the same house in the same town ever since – 23 years this year.

  9. Here are my thoughts in post form: https://sparksfromacombustiblemind.com/2021/04/06/home-from-home-questions-rory-style/

    Interesting questions and discussion! I hadn’t considered the ‘how often did you move around’ aspect of it though. My nuclear family moved about eight times after we came back from foster care, and my parents moved a further twice after we left home. I moved ten to fifteen times in my young adult years, only stopped moving around when I bought my first home. I’ve moved once since that first home, and I’ll die here I’m certain, so no more moves for me. I think my family had ‘itchy feet’ which is why we moved around so often, plus my mother’s mental illness issues.

  10. Pingback: Home | thelonerose
  11. We’re all expatriate workers in Saudi Arabia. When I got married, I asked my folks to move near my house so I can easily visit them whenever I want to… plus, they love it whenever we let them care for our son when we needed to do some errands.. when my sister got married, she did the same, found a house about 3 minutes walking distance from our folks, it’s fun… and my folks weren’t the choking types so we don’t really feel claustrophobic…

    It’s nice to be able to visit them on weekends and just watch some movies, praying together, and doing what we love, singing πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

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