Welcome to Yesterday’s Poetical Reflections – a sub – series of my poetry directory in which l shall ‘reblog’ some of my previously published poetry.
Oh stop it, if you don’t know me, shut up!
Pretending to do so infuriates me, you absolute muppet!
I am none too sure who l really am, fact,
For all l know, l might be seriously cracked!
When you say that you understand my head,
Challenge you l do, for at best my brain is unread!
Then you ask do l hear whisperings and voices?
YES, damn it man, l hear yours … oh the choices!
Oh, you mean do l hear something other than you?
Mm let me think, let me listen to see if that’s true?
Alas no, l must be brutally honest, just your drone,
My other personalities are pretending to not be at home!
How do l know what is within the grey matter?
That’s your job, you psychological mad hatter!
I am as sane as that wooden table and chair!
Loony bin material l am not, so there!
Stick that in your duck pipe and smoke it!
No, l am not wearing that white jacket, its shit!
It’s so not at all with today’s’ fashion trend,
And no, with that on l will never be your friend!
Fancy words of wisdom are wasted upon me!
So what if l talk crap, it’s called being crazy!
Oh really and since when has that been a crime?
Look at government, political nutters in all the time!
Do they ever get hoisted off in that white van design?
For speaking political bollocks to mankind?
No, they do not, yet you see me as a threat?
Just because l said l was a bright red corvette?
It was a joke you moronically twisted ghoul!
Heavens to Mergatroid, l am no fool!
Aha l see, looked now at my file have we?
Perusing with a smile at my past history!
Yes there have been times it’s true!
l have not always been this happy and been blue!
So what, this life is brimmed with greatness?
My biggest fault is my puzzling Asperger’s!
Think you will finally see and wittingly find,
Outlook l have is due to that sitting in mind!
I am not crazy in the remotest or the slightest,
Highly intelligent yes, am one of the brightest!
Sadly oft misunderstood, by those who try to see,
Or pretend that they know the true inner me!
It’s a baffling genetically created disorder,
But has been with me since birth, it’s a boarder!
That pays me no mental dues or rent!
Apparently to some l should see it as heaven sent!
Which l hasten to add, that l do and l do not!
Basically because at times it can render me a clot!
For someone who is supposedly bright as a spark!
I appear to many as a raving loony, stark …
Craving bonkers, inappropriately not right!
Acting strangely, writing oddly, prone to creating fright!
Publicly withdrawn, to be seen as socially inactive,
Blessing is that l am relatively creative!
So you see, to say that one knows me so well,
For me, that interpretation is a hard sell!
How can you possibly have that knowledge?
Musing about me, when in reality l am on a knife edge?
Finely lined, not for all to understand or see,
What’s going on in little old’ Aspergic me?
© Rory Matier 2009
Before l was diagnosed with my Aspergers , many a time l was at the mercy of the medical profession for my odd outlook on life. They at times considered me quite, quite mad!
Of course it is all different now isn’t it ….. autism or Aspergers are not viewed as quirky, or odd, or, or …. oh no wait a moment!
This poem was written in the very early days of my diagnosis when l was still coming to grips with my new identity … if it reads in a disjointed fashion then worry not, that is how it was intended to be read, for that is how my mind was back then, disjointed and broken and jumbled.