Yesterday’s Poetical Reflections

Welcome to Yesterday’s Poetical Reflections – a sub – series of my poetry directory in which l shall ‘reblog’ some of my previously published poetry.

Poetry Directory

Armadillos Bathtime

Now it is relatively safe to say,
I love animals, l really genuinely do,
And most of the time, we get along fine, usually,
But, there have been moments this is true,

When my clumsy interactions with the species,
Of the kingdoms have come to more than blows,
With the winners being the beasties,
And me bitten and bruised from my nose to my toes!

I am never quite sure why l always end up at a loss,
Perhaps it is because l am way too soft,
And believe in reasoning instead of getting cross,
Either way, makes no odds, l still get doffed!

When l was a wee lad in the Australian outback,
Collecting squirmies and wrigglies was my thing,
So l thought nothing of caterpillars or the red backs,
And l tried to tell Mama, all l was doing was bonding,

But she panicked and kicked up one hell of a fuss,
Demanded that l release them before l get bitten,
“Caterpillars don’t bite none Mama, nor cause offence”
But that was pointless and didn’t stop her beating!

Malaysia saw me experimenting with huge Butterflies,
The most magnificently colourful insect’s one could ever see,
From small little gems to beauties dinner plate size,
Yet even these fluttering creatures brought disaster to me,

One day whilst following one hell of a brute,
I slipped down a hole that led out to the sea,
Kind of strange behaviour thought l from one so cute,
But l remembers nothing except waking up with the Guppies!

Swimming in the monny drain was also a big no!
In my Mamas eyes,
But there were frogs, fish and other things you know?
Admittedly the cobra that one-day was a surprise!

Now apart from the usual accidents that can befall us all,
Growing up with animals can indeed be a trying time,
Humping rabbits biting and the guinea pigs that can maul,
I am sure was just simple out of hand playtime!

Things started to take a downward turn for me l think,
When that damned squirrel attacked me that day,
I mean hell all l did was smile and blink,
Thinking that little cutesy wanted to play!

However, l was mortally wrong about his intentions,
For he was just pure evil if l say so myself,
The way he ran up my arm like a beast of the legion,
And used my shoulder for his attacking shelf!

It was nasty, is what it was, real terror,
To attempt to pull off my ear lobe, l assure you is no joke,
And NO, it was no accidental error,
He was there to victimise this bloke!

I swear down that it was that incident, which made me a jinx,
As all animals after that saw me as their bitch,
To toy with, annoy and feed their fetished kinks!
Making my life one hell of a bloodied mess with well over 100 stitch!

Innocently l was eighteen when that happened that May Day,
That beastly squirrel psychologically impaired me,
Making me a walking target for any animal set on aggressive play,
And set me up for a lifetime of accidental brutality!

I had to find something to do, to rid me of this fault,
A profession that would allow me to tackle this voodoo,
And put an end to the constant assault,
Something, maybe like Dr Doolittle too!

So l became an exotic livestock consultant,
That way l had an incredible array of species at my fingertips
To sell to respectable private clients,
And by doing this l tried to get to grips,

With this ‘jinx’ that had attached itself to my very soul,
But alas, l learned that some curses are meant to stay,
For no matter how hard l tried, l always lost control,
And would end up with another damning bruise or injury that day!

So we will not dwell on the countless dog bites,
Cat scratches and friendly camel kicks,
Or on the ‘being chased by cows’ night,
Or the monkeys’ embarrassing sexual flick!

Nor on the ‘being loved by the amorous tiger’ that day,
Or of the armadillos in my bath,
Not even the time when the crocodile had its say,
And try to forget will l, the day the viscous Raccoons had their laughs!

The day the reptiles made my life queasy,
My mottled and blistered skin crawled literally for hours,
And by the way, who ever said small dogs were easy,
Never met those damned ferocious Chihuahuas!

When an elephant decides it wants to sit on you,
No matter what you say or tell it not to do,
It just looked at me lovingly playful like, before it made me totally flat!

Don’t let me start on snakes or any of the pythons or boas!
For they just give me the heebie jeebies and the willies,
But nothing compared to the downright nastiness of Kookaburras!
Who hampered me all day making me look silly!

It mattered not, pretty soon, the entire Kingdom saw me as a laugh,
So l retired and went far away into the backwaters,
Without having to worry about, lions, tigers or giraffes!
And now just live with my two dogs as a bachelor,

However, I am working with horses these days,
And they are really kind of fun,
But clumsy antics with the species will be with me always,
After all l am only me, not Ace Ventura or Steve bloody Irwin!

© Rory Matier 2010

16 thoughts on “Yesterday’s Poetical Reflections

  1. Maybe things are finally changing🤞… you haven’t been attacked in quite a while (knock on wood)… just that gang of sheep trying to intimidate you😉🤣🤣


      1. I think you need a new animal friend. Sven makes me smile every day, and he’s easy to care for. He even enjoys hanging out on my shoulder/chest.

        A dog would be best for you though. If the owner will agree, and when you find the right one. We were dogless for a few years, and it was weird, and difficult. When we went to the shelter and met Zeus, we knew he was ours.

        1. I am giving a pet a lot of thought. I had thought of a rabbit, but they will chew wires, l had thought of a cat, but a cat is unfair on the birds outside and unfair on the cat. I am giving a lot of thought to a dog, but a dog needs a lot of time [which l have] and a lot of dedication [l also have this] but it is a big commitment and whilst l don’t shirk that … a dog also means walking and sociality and although l walk a lot, l walk at a fast pace and a dog needs to sniff as that is part of it’s sociality – l can’t keep walking twice and some a day when l have things to do … so l have to give this a lot of very deep thought.

          One of the reasons l vowed to not rush into getting a new canine companion was because l had had dogs in my life for nearly 30 years and l had never known a time in those years without a dog … but l am of an age now where a canine even a rescue could be a number of years ahead and that means l might be stuck in one location and l need to make sure if that is what my life is now – stuck in one location or not.

          Deep thoughts are required now.

  2. You’ve had lots of adventures with animals. I’ve read a few of the stories you have written. I remember the squirrel which attached you and am wary of them too. I think it must be dull for you after all these adventures!

  3. Good morning, Rory! Excellent poetic endeavor and very lyrical, my friend. You’ve had some exciting experiences with animals, indeed! I think you need a dog! Sure, there are disadvantages but they are such good companions.

    1. Hey Eugenia, oh l know .. but, l have to really think on this hard this time around. Owning a dog isn’t as easy as it once was. I love dogs, l always have … but l need to really be sure a dog is the answer for me and my life, so that if l do get a new companion, it is for the right reasons and not some kind of rebound.

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