|Jennifer of Paperkutz|
Angie of King Ben’s Grandma
Ian Kay of Moon Is Rising
Rose of The Lone Rose
Lauren of ISS Attitude of Gratitude
Ian Kay of Moon Is Rising
Melanie of Sparks from a combustible mind
|When met with a difficult decision not listening to their inner self|
Not trusting their instincts
Fail to build resilience for the unexpected
Holding on to friendships out of a sense of loyalty
Not listening to your gut
Not believing it when people show you their true self
Chase dreams instead of recognising what they have
Expectations of other people
The Curious Case Of ….
….. The Life Choices We Make
How curious are you as a person?
Season 2 – Episode 06
Mini-Series – Part 4
|The Curious Case Of … How Well Do You Know and Trust Your Instincts?|
As l explained in the introduction to this new mini-series – The Curious Case Of … these questions have arisen due to the responses l received on one of the questions in the last game of Fancy A Weekend Quickie?!! which was What are five of the biggest mistakes that people make with their lives in your opinion?
I wonder if l can see the woods for the trees at times?
I know myself well, l know myself better than many people do as you would expect because you are you and they are them. Sometimes people surprise me – not often – but occasionally – they are in sync with my own thoughts – it’s like they are looking at the same things as l am at the exact same time as l am – but they might be somewhere else completely. For split seconds or moments in time we have shared a kind of intellectual mutality or symbiosis … as said, it doesn’t happen often … but it does happen.
This particular episode was a little hard to construct – because it borders on a few topics and not just collectively one … instincts, gut reaction, trust of you and others, friendship and advice and advisory too, self belief and failure to prepare for bad or unexpected news – so it was hard to try and find a centre and yet, it should not have been, they are all ‘centred’ to us as individuals – do we trust ourselves? Do we trust other people correctly? Do we place high expectations on others when we shouldn’t because of this trust? Do we trust our instincts too much or do we not trust them enough?
Sitting on the spectrum of autism as l do at times can conflict inner thoughts l have …. my brain to gut reaction can be fast some times and dreadfully slow at other times and more so if something or someone’s behaviour confuses me. “It does not compute!” Is something my brain tells me .. “Why have they done this, why did they not do that or alternatives of A, B and C? Why did they do this in that order? That most assuredly does not compute.”
I have introduced the autism to this because sometimes l have to stop myself as an Aspergian and ask if l am trusting the right gut reaction? If l think l am not, then l have to step into my Non-Aspie shoes and ask myself the same question … in essence l ask myself twice the same question and that can mean that on occasion … l have been known to make the wrong decision about things, events and people.
I have to train myself to NOT do that … it’s difficult and as l have aged the hesitation gaps have become larger – who do l trust? Aspie me or Non-Aspie me? Aspie me is and can be a hard bastard at times, horribly cynical due to the amount of times l have been burned by people and unforgiving whilst Non Aspie me is more tolerant, forgiving and understanding. I struggle at times to see things from another perspective and also from another person’s perspective – that sadly is a trait of autism which is why l have to alternate my footwear at times. To see both sides.
Sometimes l have been called a ‘people pleaser’ because of this action of not always trusting my own instincts with regards things and people – as said, it is difficult. But then l have people who are rocks of sanity and Linus blankets for extreme situations when l am not sure if l am right or wrong with some decisions with regards events, moments and people and people behaviours. The Aspie can be extremely volatile – but also the Autism and Asperger’s doesn’t like bullshit and or bluff, they don’t tolerate nonsense when they are at their limits, they are at times very warlike and once they see that the black and white honesty of certain things is missing they step up and take action … although, if certain situations are grey this leads to confusion. Grey people matters and grey people are very hard to read!
In recent weeks l have found myself having to switch shoes quite often to read my environment and that has meant challenging my instinct almost daily … asking whether my gut reaction to a, b and c is correct? Have l read this situation right? Am l seeing this in true light or is there a grey filter on it l am missing? Am l losing the plot? Should l have seen this coming or not?
I mentioned this briefly the other day, when autism needs non-autism to help balance life – because if autism only listens to itself and is only using logic without emotion – then that is one sided and not ‘balanced’ and therefore you find yourself questioning at times your own gut reactions to things and challenging your own instincts. At these times of indecision – l try to not rush into anything too quickly but think and ponder long and hard.
When my life is not stress filled or unbalanced, l trust both of my instincts 100% however when my life is very grey, l only trust my Aspie instincts 90% and my Non Aspie instincts 85% and this can make me quite hesitant at times. During these times l lean on my closest friends for their logical and emotional reasoning – l am very lucky to have the quality support l do have from these people. But not everyone would understand that.
Anyway – the questions at hand ….
|How well do you trust your own instincts for sensing if something or someone is wrong for you and/or your life?|
|Do you or can you make the right decisions based upon your gut reactions quickly or do you simply tread more carefully and observe everything before making decisions on your findings, opinions and beliefs?|
|If you were to sense a change in a friendship but were not sure of the direction in which this was taking, but your instinct told you something was seriously off – how would you choose to react?|
|Do you think your instincts are always right and if not, what do you think can alter them to become unreliable?|
You don’t have to answer all these questions should you not wish to – just answer the one or ones that are more appropriate for you personally – however, let me know your views below…