Morning Musings

Morning Musings Directory
Season 6– Spring 2021
Series 6 – Identifying Forwards
Sunday 28th February 2021 – Walk Time 70 Mins
Hang in there! Things are slowly gonna get better. I feel it!!”

This morning’s five mile round trip walk.

I had a good walk this morning, not a hike or even a mini hike … l was out the door at 10.40am and l was back in the house at 11.50am for a five mile round trip, so l was quite impressed. I didn’t take many photos on the walk, despite the gorgeous weather and it was truly beautiful today – a slight chill in the shade and a slight breeze in the wind, but outside of the shade it was a welcome warm sun and of course when you are walking at my pace, it doesn’t take long to heat up. I am not wearing an abundance of layers in the mornings when l walk now. I am dressing again for streamlined speed. So by the time l had walked the first quick mile in around the 13 minute mark, my warmth was with me for the remainder of my miles.

I read an interesting article the other day which – l suppose was reading that my mind needed to see and absorb – l am finding that l am struggling with a few conflicts of late and l can’t seemingly get any rest and respite from them. As is typical the way of the Aspergian and deep thinkers alike … at times we need to really hard core our thoughts and try and hammer down with concrete certainties who we are and what we believe in.

This article was interesting because it was asking the question about people and their sociality following the pandemic and how the forced inclusion of people to their homesteads had introduced to the more social and popular people a form of introversion or asocial behaviours which they were otherwise unused to and how it had also made a huge impact on existing ‘introverts’ and had motivated them to recede further into their bubbles and their worlds. The ambiverts were equally affected in so far as they can balance normally between the two other traits and they too were struggling.

I used to always joke that l am a selectavert and as Grace once corrected me [rightly], l am an ambivert but l am also on the spectrum with my autism and l can departmentalise being social. I don’t need lots of friends, l don’t really need lots of people and l don’t really need huge community interaction to survive, but l do need people to maintain balance .. because autism – cares not for people – l say that not as ‘autistic people care not for people’, but autism is not bothered by people and the presence of people, because autism has this uncanny ability to troll its host and convince them that they need ‘space, distance and exclusion from society’.

I know this all too well, because when l was living in the middle of bloody nowhere [2009 – 2012] with just Dora and Scrappy on the Fens in Lincolnshire in a caravan on a DIY stables where people were not often seen l was at my best and YET l was also at my worst. A lot of autistic people don’t like society and they care not for the balance that people award to their worlds – because people are confusing and are noisy and are indicative of trouble usually, and autism tries to protect its host from that by encouraging them to steer clear and become a 100% paid up member to asociality.

Peace is good, people are bad, socialness sucks and asociality is heaven! Is the credo for a sane life!

But of course it isn’t because people balance autism out when done right anyway … not always, but quite often and more often than not when people are being sensible they can balance autistic people out …

This article further explained that people are going to have to relearn and retrain themselves to be social again with others and to not be so selfish and act like mindless morons and although l found this funny, it’s actually true .. with people not interacting with people on a regular basis l have noticed a distinct lack of positive social attributes even here in WordPress but most assuredly outside in the real world. I remember speaking to Suzanne about this last year on the first lockdown here in the UK, that if we continued like this [which we have], then people would revert to their baseness and would display their true colours to society in the coming months.

I wrote earlier this week a poke in the eye poem about slow selfish walkers and about how they are fast becoming completely clueless to social etiquttes and graces …. where people are no longer controlling their emotions and or their impulses on one hand, where social distancing on the other hand has become an excuse for almost an extreme disdain for people. People are accepting social isolation as the new norm, but are no longer being mindful of others – their new displayed behaviour has become in some respects quite feral and unsettling. People are in the main, social creatures of social habit, they need social contact ….

I have noticed and l have commented in posts of my own, written about it, ranted about it to my friends – but how people’s rudeness has escalated to very high levels literally over the last six months, how tolerance as an attribute is no longer tolerated by people, how being mindful of other people’s feelings has become almost a thing of the past …

Social isolation and frustration from people, and also social symbiosis is lost, as societies of people we are completely out of sync with each other, our balances are shot. People are selfish and abrupt and just rude and even thick skinned people are starting to feel the brusqueness of a people who are no longer able to be specifically social and polite.

You know, generally it takes a lot to insult me – l am pretty thick skinned and YET, on at least a dozen occasions in the last 12 weeks people here unwittingly have insulted me – l say unwittingly, because if l thought they were doing it with deliberation l would be erupting on a nuclear level in blog. My very close friends know all too well how rankled l am becoming … l am normally pretty passive.

Now, l don’t need people – not everyday, l don’t tire of my own company, l like being by myself BUT I ALSO DO enjoy being able to get out and about in the places of sociality .. being able to walk freely around a shop or just mingle with people – l don’t have to talk to them .. but l am feeling the strain. The walking allows me to mix with people without mixing with people and l can live with that.

But what l have recently come to understand about my conflict with my blog – hit me today whilst walking … it’s not my blog l am struggling with – it’s people – l am struggling with the asociality of people – people who normally DON’T behave like they are doing are causing me the biggest headaches and Aspie stress l have known for a very long time in my three years of blogging – l sometimes feel that my blog isn’t a place of sanctuary but a warzone.

A friend of mine recently responded to an email l sent them which was a full on rant and trust me when l say ‘this was a full rant,’ l really mean it, l was edging very close to nuclear blowout and hitting the DELETE button to the blog – this person is an absolute – excuse my language – but a fucking rock of sanity to me. I have three rocks of sanity in my life and two are bloggers so they know exactly where l am coming from.

My friend’s response was … “I think the WP glitches and the bitchy people are getting to you more than they normally would. You’re suffering your own lockdown fatigue. And for whatever reason, February has been SHIT for everyone I know. You’re actually doing remarkably well for an orderly Aspie who thinks too much. Breathe! Let it go. It’s petty little crap. You’re just generally frustrated at everything right now. Your mouth and your gut hurt, that alone is background irritation even when its okay-ish.You worry about Suze, and that’s always in the back of your mind. Your life plans have been blown up, then put on hold.”

To my rock of sanity and you know who you are – thank you.

So this morning when walking, l had this epiphany and combined with the article l read about people having to learn to be social people again l realised that l too was becoming very affected by the social isolation even with my Asperger’s credo of ‘sociality is bad’ – and l am not being rude to people, but perhaps others with their frustration think l am. The walking helps me so much – fresh air, purpose, exercise and activity, the ability to think and clear my head, the ability to remind myself that as frustrating as people are, we are all frustrating in one way or another to someone else … even me!

WP haven’t helped with their small very annoying glitches and yet, in a small way they have, they are helping me ‘redefine’ my blog and identify what l need to do to continue and not press delete which would be seriously drastic. I have been making changes and alterations to the blog over the last few days …. but my friend is 100% spot on with this … “Hang in there! Things are slowly gonna get better. I feel it!!” Which is pretty good advice for us all l feel.

Let’s all hope so.

Anyway, thanks for reading, catch you again.

19 thoughts on “Morning Musings

  1. I’m glad your head didn’t explode!
    I tell Ben that he’s going to make my head explode, and little pieces of my brain will be splattered all over, everywhere. He gives me this look like he knows it wouldn’t be a good thing, but he kinda wants to see it happen.😂😂
    5 miles in a little over an hour is awesome. I walked 2 miles (per google maps) in 40 minutes today, and I’m pretty impressed with that. Long walks are good for thinking thoughts, or blowing out the mental dust. I took a couple pictures on my walk too, but yours are better! 😉

    1. Well your 2 miles in in 40 minutes is excellent Grandma, and don’t forget it 🙂 Considering the strain you have been under for the past year you are doing well 🙂

      Yes l can relate to Ben’s fascination with that … my sister used to play with her belly button and my parents used to tell her that if she continued she would pop like a balloon and l knew that could NEVER happen .. but l always used to think , wow .. but say if it could – that would be really funny!!

  2. You got very good advice from your friend. Things are not good at the moment, but they will improve eventually. If I think about leaving my blog, I would be the looser as I will lose so many valuable friends here. WP won’t suffer a bit. I still miss a lot of bloggers who have stopped blogging and hence are no longer on WP. Even those who are on other sites, we cannot interact with them.
    I am impressed by your 5 mile walk! Bravo.

    1. Hey Sadje,

      Yesterday was an explosive day for me … and l will tell you why. I launched a new series, l advertised it a month ago. I prepped it up, promoted it – got the banners for it and then launched it and then because people ‘didn’t read it properly’ they almost broke it and l have practically lost heart in it.

      In addition to being terribly upset. Yesterday was a wipe out for me and l very nearly walked away for good.

      Last week we discussed how people are not looking at things properly and this was a classic case of not bothering to look or read.

      That series is offline now.

      However, today is a new day and l have to catch up on missed reading from yesterday.

      Yes , my friend awarded me good advice, but l do feel that days like yesterday are the beginnings to my end.

      1. I know and I was wondering why people are just taking it like the usual question fun post. I’m so sorry because you’d put so much effort into it. I hope it doesn’t destroyed your faith in the community. Hope today is better!

        1. Well Sadje l do have good friends here, like you and a handful of others. I am going to use this bad day of yesterday to review how l do things this month and some of the ideas l had and that l have talked of will be introduced this month.

          I see you published a wonderful questions post .. l will be reading that this morning.

          Thank you for your words of kind.

        2. Thanks Rory. I really appreciate the friendship that I’ve formed in WP. It over weighs all the headaches one faces here. You’re one of the best!

        3. Exactly, that’s why however tedious WP blogging becomes, I’ll stick to it. But I hope my WP app keeps me giving the option of using the classic editor 😜

        4. Mm, the Block isn’t 100% bad, but it’s not 100% great either and still has many unforgivable glitches. So let’s hope you can still keep using Classic 🙂

        5. I’ll only use the block editor if I don’t have this option. I have tried a few trial posts on it but it takes up too much time.

  3. Happy March 1, Rory! I am sorry to hear about your blogging woes and don’t you dare give it up! I found with my blog, especially my weekly prompt posts that many don’t read guidelines in their entirety or misinterpret what is written. I took a hiatus from the weekly prompt idea but then I missed the interaction with my followers. So, I tweaked it a bit, restarted it, and all is well, thus far.

    I feel we all have off-kilter days including working on our blogs. It’s obvious you put your heart and soul in your blog, one of the many reasons for my follow. And, the way I look at my own blogs is they are my blogs and I am going to do what I want with them. If others don’t like them, then don’t read them!

    Your blog is brilliantly authored, my friend. Btw, I love the block editor because it is like a new toy that I have to figure out. I started using it in it’s beta days and it has come a long way.

    Keep the faith and rise up above it! 🤗

    1. Hey Eugenia 🙂

      Thank you 🙂

      Pinch and a punch and a slap and a kick for being so quick will have to wait until next month! But l can wish you a happy March 1st 🙂

      I have used yesterday to make some bold decisions that had initially been on the books for Summer 21 and now l have simply brought them forwards to Spring 21.

      I have discontinued today quite a few of my smaller question series but kept the bigger ones present and the more topical. I have been looking at alternative prompt ideas for a while and have some coming up, but l will take a step away from most of my prompts for the remainder of this year and concentrate on other concepts l have talked about but not yet launched.

      I used to specifically write for others, l have said that in the past – however, what l am taking away from yesterday’s learning curve, is l will be writing for me now and if readers wish to read the content l will always welcome them to do so. But now l am producing purely for my contentment.

      As l said to a friend earlier “If l wish to continue blogging, then l need to re identify with my needs and not the needs of others and l now wish to concentrate purely on the reality, interview and storytelling side of blogging rather than the prompt side 🙂

      Plus l have finally shifted from producing three posts daily and reduced it to two.

      Thank you for your kind words and support, genuinely appreciated.

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