Dear Blog – 20.22 – 17/02/21

Imagine if you can, but worry not if you can’t drama llama ding dongs!

Not many people call my landline, strangers and my mother – that is who calls that number .. by strangers l mean businesses, and my mother’s number comes up as ‘Withheld’ on account of her choosing that her number remains anon. Although l have a mobile phone, it is a basic model, too small for proper texting, just right for receiving and making the odd call out … the reality is … l tend to use my desktop for most internet communications and l tend to use my landline when calling people … but when l see withheld – l know it’s my mother and simply answer with hello mum.

Last night, 7.47pm 16th February 2021 l had just finished dinner and was washing the dishes when my landline rings and l can see withheld …. l know who that is – what follows is our conversation …

“Hi mum, are you ok?”

“No darling, l am not … are you sitting down, l have heard from my doctors today and l have some very bad and serious news …”

“Nope, not sitting down am back in the kitchen washing the dishes, what’s up? Do you have cancer? Dying of Covid? Some dreadful disease?”

“Oh no, nothing like that … why are you so flippant?”

“Just asking, thought we would get the real serious ones out the way – l know you have covid in your building … so tell me, what have your doctors been telling you then?”

“Well it’s very serious, but l don’t want you to worry, just thought l would tell you first, better to be heard from me than someone else.”

“……… before l heard from anyone else?? Who else is likely to tell me??”

“Well just in case anything was to happen to me, so are you sitting down?”

“No, l am not, what’s up, stop the crypticness – what’s wrong?”

“Well, l heard from my doctors today and well as you know, l was having a lot of pain in my right leg and l was thinking it was my stenting playing up, but it’s not, it’s much more worse than that ….!”

Mum, stop, what is it??”

“Darling …….. l have ………. serious ……… stage 4 ………….. osteoarthritis!!”

.………………………………………………………………… [long pause from me] “So you are ringing me up like you are dying to tell me you have been diagnosed with arthritis!! Have l got that right ….arthritis!?”

Osteoarthritis!! Serious! Stage 4!! It’s very serious, they are going to have to replace my knee …. but they tell me that sadly, l shall have to wait because of covid, but that l am very healthy!”

“Right … do you know that it is one of the most common forms of arthritis? It’s sometimes called the wear and tear disorder?”

“It’s a disease l will have you know! They call it ‘degenerative joint disease’ – it’s a disease, l have a stage 4 disease! It’s very painful, l can’t walk up the stairs at all!”

“Well your building has a lift, use it – just use sanitizer.”

“When l wake up in the morning’s it is very painful, sometimes l have difficulty getting out of bed!”

“Yes l can imagine … been very cold lately, hasn’t it?”

“……………. l mean with the pain!!”

“Oh yes of course, sorry … yes it must be … it’s when the cartilage starts to break down between the joints and the bones start to grind onto each other – l have something similar with loose fragments in the knee, they are called floaters, these bits move around the knee and can cause a lot of pain, but l just get on with it and don’t do anything stupid like run on it or cause impact to it.”

“Yes very interesting, but yours isn’t stage 4 or serious and is not a disease is it? I have to have a new knee, exercise and diet – BUT l told them, try exercising with covid and being 80! I told them my diet was more than suitable, but they can’t give me any information ..,except the internet advice and l said l am not connected, and there are no libraries open and or bookshops and l don’t know what to do!! Making matters worse is my first born son seemingly finds my condition funny … l carried you for 9 months you know! I expected better than this!”

“I am the only son you have, l was first born, there are no more after me as in sons … have you told your daughter any of this??”

“Tell your sister …. she doesn’t care … l could be dying and it wouldbn’t matter to her…!”

“But you are not dying, you only have arthritis …”

Osteoarthritis!! Serious! Stage 4!! And a son that doesn’t care!

“Oh for goodness sake, okay you have Osteoarthritis would you like me to buy some books for you from Amazon and have them delivered to you directly – would that help you to understand your arth …. Osteoarthritis?”

Oh would you darling, thank you so much — finally you are taking me serious and caring for your old mum. Thank you. Anyway, oooh there’s a programme on the telly, must go…..”


14 thoughts on “Dear Blog – 20.22 – 17/02/21

  1. I’m feeling a little guilty about laughing at someone’s pain but the way you wrote this…Arthritis runs in both sides of my family so I expect it’s my destiny Just thankful I’m not dealing with it yet.

    1. Don’t feel guilty Ruth, l was laughing at the time l was speaking to her … she is so utterly drama llama about some things … it is JUST so mum!! 🙂

      I have mild arthritis as it is … but l don’t matter hahahaha!! 🙂

  2. Jiminey Cricket!🤦🏼‍♀️ I guess it was good for a laugh, but sheesh! Why do you answer? I guess it’s better to get it over with…
    I usually let voicemail take the calls from my mother and call her back after I’ve mentally prepared myself.

    Get her a dictionary too so she can understand the meaning of the “osteo” part of her arthritis 🙄🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    1. It was funny Grandma, when l was recounting the tale to Suze later on last night l was laughing 🙂

      BUT my mother is/was and will always be a hypochondriac as well as more the dangerous Munchausen disorder .. and let’s not forget when younger she had mild bipolar – it’s all about attention.

      She craves attention …

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