Dear Blog – 20.23 –26/01/21

In A Typically Average Day, I ?

I have today started to chase the average day or is it the typical day …. mmm?

What does your typically average or if you prefer your averagely typical day consist of? From the time you get up in the morning after a night of sleep, to the time you retire from the day to sleep at night? How do you spend your waking hours? What do you do to fill all those windows of opportunity? Have you ever wondered about that and lost track of the days?

Quite recently and by this l mean over the last couple of weeks, l have been seriously down, depressed and or very low, whichever you prefer matters not really. I am not there now, l once more booted myself up my arse and yelled at me to wake the EFF up and to NOT allow the big D to step into my world, l know why it happened, l know what triggered me … and it was quite stupid really, all my own fault. However, once l gave myself a firm talking to … l woke back up, remotivated my mind and starting shaking myself loose once more of the mind controlling shackles that we all at times can create to hinder our progress!

For months l was working on reducing my stomach fat down … l was building muscle mass, reducing fat in places that l really didn’t have huge reserves of fat anyway to begin with, but still my stomach wasn’t reducing and more so, wasn’t reducing the way it should have been after several months of working at it and steadily increasing my actual exercise Time. The problem was that l was spending more Time than l really had to spend on one issue.

Four to five hours a day with walking, indoor cycling and weights and assorted exercises … chasing this belly away, and l was quite prepared to allow my Fitbit to buzz away on my wrist and telling me to do a, b and c for x, y and z results and l know l have written about this, but it was ‘controlling me!’ I would have agreed to 5, 6 and 7 hours of exercise if l thought my belly was going to reduce.

I have never had a massively big belly, l have never had a huge beer belly, it has never flooped over my belt and hung to my knees or something … but l have had an uncomfortable stomach for many years. The latter is caused not by ‘fat’ but by whatever this stomach disorder is that l have had since 1994 and it causes at times me to have intestinal barrel weight gains or otherwise known as ‘intestinal bloat’, which appears to start at just below my sternum and whatever l do l can’t always shift it. I had hoped with the introduction of exercise that l might be able to stabilise it.

It is a known fact that many of us on the autism spectrum have gastrointestinal issues because of the stress we carry on a regular basis, but equally, as many of us are particular about our food and our diets. Many have serious problems with food and terrible food disorders, not forgetting to mention those who cannot abide textures, colours, tastes, weights or even just the actual aesthetics of food itself.

I have never really had any serious problems with the food on my plate, l would eat from a balanced diet. i was introduced to many food types as a youngster, l ate my vegetables with relish, didn’t reallty play with my food and only had a few issues with some cooked recipes, but otherwise l was quite adventurous with my food ….. that has changed considerably as l aged and here l am now in my later fifties and l have a serious GI issue that may never be resolved.

The problem l have today however, is that my stomach doesn’t actually like me eating any food and would be happier if l didn’t which as you can imagine is a biggish problem. Luckily I don’t have to force myself to eat, but every time l do eat, within the hour … l bloat and painfully so. This made all my exercising seem quite pointless because whenever l weighed myself, l would and can never get an accurate reading. EVER! Even in the mornings and why? Because in addition to everything else l have a very slow metabolism meaning my digestion is also very slow. I am always carrying food weight.

When the bloat thing became blatantly obvious to me as the singular aggressor to my stomach weight not disappearing a couple of weeks ago l decided then to stop exercising like a lunatic and to moderate my day more. BUT, the whole thing really upset me given everything l had done …. and l succumbed to a bout of depression for a couple of weeks and when you add everything else on top, it is enough to just make you a sad little feel sorry for yourself puppy!

But over the weekend, l decided to stop buggering about, kick my arse and reboot my mental energies to look at the good and the bad and the fugly of the situation. I may have stopped 4-5 hours of exercise daily, but l do still walk for roughly 90 minutes a day as many days out of the weeks as l can anyway weather permitting, l never stopped that. I cycle 3 – 4 times a week and l still do assorted exercises … but l decided to give myself a break, and to stop punishing myself for being human!

Also to refocus on getting my day back to as much normality or typicality as l could … the lockdown is depressing for us all, sadly l had allowed my sleeping pattern to break down. The constant and continued rainfall is another depressing factor and l had cursed it before because it prevented me from exercising …. but it’s bloody winter, what else am l to expect?

Today however, l started a new programme of refocus … last night l was in bed for midnight, with lights out at 12.30am, with my alarm clock NOT on the bedside cabinet but on the chest of drawers well away from my slumber dazed hands switching on the snooze in the mornings! Now l have to get up and switch it off or alternatively like this morning get up before the alarm actually rings!

This morning l was up and performing my new morning indoor exercise routine of cycling and assorted exercises like weights and crunches and then l showered and took my walk. Got back in good time and was able to start my day. I am back thankfully on the path of getting on with my life again with ‘moderate’ exercising for 7 days a week and not dominating Fitbit schedules.

This is my new schedule, 2021 is going to be a busy year for me on many platforms and l have to have my game head screwed on properly and not guilt myself for things out of my control.

Now l am back on the path of finding a typically average proactive day or is it a proactive averagely typical day? Not quite sure actually, but l will keep myself busy looking as opposed to depressively not!

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8 thoughts on “Dear Blog – 20.23 –26/01/21

  1. Glad to read that you actually listened to yourself 😉😂
    We all have our little bouts of madness, but I imagine your Asperger’s focus was pushing you into complete tunnel vision.

    Your question about a “normal” day… I tried to imagine what a normal day at Casa Cuckoo would be. I came to the conclusion that every day is normal… whatever happens, and whenever it happens. It’s all unexpectedly expected, or expectedly unexpected 🤷🏼‍♀️😂😂😂

    🌊🦄💫🧸💌

    1. Well we both know sadly Grandma, that Asperger’s/Autism is not the walk in the park many seemingly believe it to be, don’t we? 🙂

      Yes, it would be odd for you to experience a typically average day because evryday is already typically average anyway .. it is when it breaks that routine of maddened normality that you’ll know something is up?

      1. There have been a couple days that scared me because I didn’t get hurt, Ben was calm, nothing broke… very scary stuff, but the next day was chaos again, so I relaxed😂

  2. I gave up on getting fit because of my back issues. I try to congratulate myself for smaller achievements, but it can be difficult some days. Glad you won’t be a slave to yet another piece of technology! 💕

    1. Hey Paula, totally.

      I still wear the Fitbit for the steps count, but l now ignore many of the other stats … it was simply becoming incredibly and foot stampingly frustrating to be controlled by this little beeping horror!! 🙂

  3. I think you made the right decision. Moderation is the way forward and working to find the best combination of diet and exercise is the key. Overdoing anything, even exercising isn’t a good idea. Take each day as it comes and find some thing good in each day! That’s my philosophy and I enjoy my days.

      1. You do know that you can turn off all or any reminders to move on your Fitbit app. I turned off the hourly reminders as they are irritating.

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