When do you find the Time to be social?
A rambling type of 24 Hour question ….
Although, I have had Facebook since 2009, my friend’s quantity has never once risen above 50 people, not once in all the 12 years since creating the account. The highest number it has ever been was 45 – that’s where it was last Thursday, a week ago. Currently it is on 31 and there is a good chance that it will reduce further – it may well even reduce to as little as 10 in the coming weeks.
Because l don’t use Facebook as my main go to social medium, l use my blog for that. I am not overly social in real life as opposed to in blog, and even in blog l am NOT that social either – although more social than Facebook as a comparison. I use the Facebook Messenger system or is it just chat or what l call, Behind The Wall Chat … and in there l only really chat to Suze on a regular basis – no one else …
But last week, l was looking at my so-called friends list and thinking ‘who are these people?’ Why do they stay on board as friends when we don’t chat anymore, do l need to really keep these people? Do l need this account and apart from the ability to chat/text to Suze in real time … and not have to text via my mobile phone or email her … what do l have a Facebook social account for anyway? I don’t have the Time to run too many accounts … l mean there is only 24 hours in each day and l am using all my free time for other constructive purposes – where do l find the extra Time to be ”social” and why be social with people who are not social with me?
I mean, Facebook is in many ways like a cattle market, there are just bays and bays of people in waiting, almost hoarding capacity for so many people – l am sure you have seen those accounts with well above silly figures of ‘friends’. So l have unfriended and unfollowed since last Thursday a total of 14 people and NOT once has anyone written to me privately in the chat system to ask why?
Not Once …
... and l am not bothered that they haven’t asked why, because l knew they wouldn’t – because l don’t socialise with them with any kind of frequency and regularity – yet they call me a friend .. in my eyes, that makes me a terrible friend. But then, l don’t think l am really that good a friend to many people … l am, and l am not. I am not overly social – l am not unfriendly, l just don’t go out of my way, out of my focus or out of my six to be social for the sake of just being social.
I have to remind myself to be more of a social person – because not falling back on labels, l have been like this for most of my life – people come and go, some stay for longer and others move on – That’s Life!!!
That is what friendship is like for someone who has autism or Asperger’s, it is never personal – it is just when people are in our focus or in our six then the friendship, the communication, the community is always fresh – but if people drop from that … if they fall away and don’t renew it and l too don’t renew or refresh it and then no communications occur, then why should we .. stay friends?
Why should we then hoard each other and never speak?
I accept equally that the blame for a lack of social interaction sits with me as much as the other person – but l don’t have the Time to be social to people, who are not social to me – it baffles me why we have this fondness for hanging on to people that may have outlived their purpose in our lives and YES of course that sounds harsh and brutal .. but we still do it don’t we .. until we don’t because we just don’t have the Time to be social with everyone every day with genuineness and meaning.
There isn’t enough hours in the day to be social to everyone – it isn’t possible. I have one main social focus, my blog – here l can ‘chat’ to likeminded people who are continually in my six [focus] daily and even if we don’t chat daily, we are usually talking one way or another over the course of a month and even at times working to be social to everyone here can be Time consuming – because there is only so much Time in one day, week, month.
You know 24 hours is not a lot of Time for everything is it – not really – not when there is life to be lived, jobs to be worked, families to be catered to and raised, exercise to be walked, meals to be cooked, fun to be had, reading, writing to be read and written about, blogs to be read, posts to be written, entertainment to be enjoyed, gardens to be tended to, love to be thrilled about and dogs to be walked ……… where are we supposed to find the Time to be social too?
When do you find the Time to be social?
Let me know below in the comments.