When do you find the Time to be social?

When do you find the Time to be social?

A rambling type of 24 Hour question ….

Although, I have had Facebook since 2009, my friend’s quantity has never once risen above 50 people, not once in all the 12 years since creating the account. The highest number it has ever been was 45 – that’s where it was last Thursday, a week ago. Currently it is on 31 and there is a good chance that it will reduce further – it may well even reduce to as little as 10 in the coming weeks.

Why?

Because l don’t use Facebook as my main go to social medium, l use my blog for that. I am not overly social in real life as opposed to in blog, and even in blog l am NOT that social either – although more social than Facebook as a comparison. I use the Facebook Messenger system or is it just chat or what l call, Behind The Wall Chat … and in there l only really chat to Suze on a regular basis – no one else …

But last week, l was looking at my so-called friends list and thinking ‘who are these people?’ Why do they stay on board as friends when we don’t chat anymore, do l need to really keep these people? Do l need this account and apart from the ability to chat/text to Suze in real time … and not have to text via my mobile phone or email her … what do l have a Facebook social account for anyway? I don’t have the Time to run too many accounts … l mean there is only 24 hours in each day and l am using all my free time for other constructive purposes – where do l find the extra Time to be ”social” and why be social with people who are not social with me?

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Photo by Matthias Zomer on Pexels.com

I mean, Facebook is in many ways like a cattle market, there are just bays and bays of people in waiting, almost hoarding capacity for so many people – l am sure you have seen those accounts with well above silly figures of ‘friends’. So l have unfriended and unfollowed since last Thursday a total of 14 people and NOT once has anyone written to me privately in the chat system to ask why?

Not Once

... and l am not bothered that they haven’t asked why, because l knew they wouldn’t – because l don’t socialise with them with any kind of frequency and regularity – yet they call me a friend .. in my eyes, that makes me a terrible friend. But then, l don’t think l am really that good a friend to many people … l am, and l am not. I am not overly social – l am not unfriendly, l just don’t go out of my way, out of my focus or out of my six to be social for the sake of just being social.

I have to remind myself to be more of a social person – because not falling back on labels, l have been like this for most of my life – people come and go, some stay for longer and others move on – That’s Life!!!

That is what friendship is like for someone who has autism or Asperger’s, it is never personal – it is just when people are in our focus or in our six then the friendship, the communication, the community is always fresh – but if people drop from that … if they fall away and don’t renew it and l too don’t renew or refresh it and then no communications occur, then why should we .. stay friends?

Why should we then hoard each other and never speak?

I accept equally that the blame for a lack of social interaction sits with me as much as the other person – but l don’t have the Time to be social to people, who are not social to me – it baffles me why we have this fondness for hanging on to people that may have outlived their purpose in our lives and YES of course that sounds harsh and brutal .. but we still do it don’t we .. until we don’t because we just don’t have the Time to be social with everyone every day with genuineness and meaning.

There isn’t enough hours in the day to be social to everyone – it isn’t possible. I have one main social focus, my blog – here l can ‘chat’ to likeminded people who are continually in my six [focus] daily and even if we don’t chat daily, we are usually talking one way or another over the course of a month and even at times working to be social to everyone here can be Time consuming – because there is only so much Time in one day, week, month.

You know 24 hours is not a lot of Time for everything is it – not really – not when there is life to be lived, jobs to be worked, families to be catered to and raised, exercise to be walked, meals to be cooked, fun to be had, reading, writing to be read and written about, blogs to be read, posts to be written, entertainment to be enjoyed, gardens to be tended to, love to be thrilled about and dogs to be walked ……… where are we supposed to find the Time to be social too?

When do you find the Time to be social?

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Let me know below in the comments.

28 thoughts on “When do you find the Time to be social?

  1. Like you I seldom visit Facebook. And I too socialize on my blog. It gives me pleasure to meet and chat with people here and read their thoughts.
    I real life before covid, I used to meet friends and cousins etc for meals etc but now all that is on hold. I do chat to my friends off and on.

  2. I was thinking about Time this morning. There are so many things I want to do, but I really can’t fit them into my schedule. I already sacrifice sleep to do things I *WANT* to do.

    I’ve written before about not having any IRL friends. I made the choice not to have friends because I don’t want to use the Time to *BE* a good friend. I use the Time in blog or emailing and/or texting with long-distance Buddies.

    I’ve never had FacePalm, and see no reason to create an account now. I’m social in little bursts throughout the day. Blogging is the perfect place for that kind of socializing.

    🌊🦄💫🧸💌

  3. I don’t find time to be social IN REAL LIFE. It’s far too dangerous right now and it never was one of my best traits anyway. On line? I blog. I have quite a social life through WordPress; but Facebook is on it’s way out of my life. I have a HUGE social group over there, bits and pieces of other sites (now defunct) that I either blogged on or were social themselves. There was one site that was for making friends (nudge nudge, wink wink) when hubby was alive. I made several ‘friends’ there too. Facebook has morphed into something I don’t like the format of, and the election of that ass that’s being impeached now in 2016 saw a lot of unfriending because we couldn’t agree on that creep. Some folks took politics to the extremes on that site too and I find politics boring and I get angry at the stupidity exhibited by mindless followers of any politician. Best I don’t interact with Facebook any longer. I also have family connections on Facebook, which is the main reason that I kept the account open in the past two years. But the young folks have migrated to other social media sites and don’t use Facebook any more; so long story short (too late) I plan to sever my Facebook link. It’s not socializing to me, if one is continually being bullied or fighting with someone who doesn’t agree with one. Especially on line.

    1. Yes, l tend to agree Melanie, it’s not really socialising – as said l mostly talk to Suze for the ease of messenger and a couple of others, but that is it.

  4. I currently have 129 “friends” on FB. Some are actual friends. Some are family. And some… idk who they are really, but they say interesting or fun things. This week I dumped 3 ppl I never met for being rabid trump conspiracy fans. I am so over tolerating that crap. I dumped a few (more) bloggers for the same reason. I just don’t want to see that stuff in my feed. It makes me feel even more antisocial than I already am. I’m an introvert by nature, so it doesn’t bother me to have only a few real friends. One thing I can’t stand is Twitter ~ whatever i do, other writers pay no attention to me. It’s really a bummer and I’d delete it except I keep thinking it might help someday somehow…

    I do not have instagram or tiktok or snapchat, etc. I made a pinterest account but I don’t see the point. Same with tumblr. I filled my pages with stuff I like and… nothing happens. Guess I’m doing them wrong ~ not that I wanted friends there, just people who might be interested in my writing…

    1. Wow 129 people, that’s a lot 🙂

      Twitter is a nightmare, l gave that up a long time ago and don’t miss it … l have an IG account, but have never used it and don’t really understand it.

      There is a secret to social connection and marketing paula and when l find out how to best use it you’ll be one of the first l shall share that with 🙂

  5. Since retiring my social life has been blogging. No IRL contacts for the foreseeable future. When working my few friends and I would occasionally go out for a lunch meeting. More often a lunch together in my classroom. I am a loner for the most part. My friends are calling and texting friends now.

    Facebook aka Fakebook is only a means to an end to see some groups I like. Sewing groups, crafting groups, people with the same medical concerns groups, etc. is its only true function for me.

    I don’t do twitter. I have Instagram only to follow a few women I totally respect. The rest is not for me.

    Great question.

  6. I’ve been thinking the same for quite some time now. Before Daisy was born, I always made the effort to speak to people, but I very rarely had anyone do the same for me. It is hard accepting when people come and go, unfortunately that is life. I only use messenger when I have a spare few minutes, and even then I don’t catch up with everybody who I want to. Its hard.

      1. I miss the days where there was no social media, the more it evolves, the less social (in-person) we become.

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