One day at a time……..
I spoke with Suze today. We try to have at least one phone call a week to ‘catch up’ and see how we are. We text each other most days throughout the day in Facebook Messenger – but speaking is so much nicer.
I suppose in some respects we are both a little low for differing reasons and the same reasons … but different. I am not recovering from throat cancer or radiation therapy, so not the same there, but on the contact side, the friendship side we are missing each other. I saw her last about two months ago – you may recall – 21st November – she visited once with her cousin. It seems strange to say it was two months ago, but it’s already six weeks now more or less.
Time has slipped past us all this last year in almost a ghostly surreal manner , in 6 days time it will be the first anniversary to Scrappy’s passing and that seems like only yesterday and yet a long time ago in the same breath.
Suze is doing alright, but she struggles with low days for many reasons, the stomach PEG causes her the most discomfort and problems and as of yet she is still not able to swallow solid foods so she is still very reliant upon the feeding pump. Her tongue is currently going through the healing process and has turned brown as the old skin dies off and the new skin develops underneath.
She is still staying with her friends in Canterbury and is unsure when she will be able to return to start recovery at home, but most likely only once the stomach PEG is removed and she is no longer being pump fed and has the confidence to start eating by herself again. She fears choking and has read many horror stories as well as been informed of the perils of eating again by the doctors and nurses at hospital.
The other thing is considering when Suze’s cancer struck her which was back in August time as in diagnosis, she had that lump on her throat in June and July – but we both officially moved into our residences July 16/17 and 18th. I started living here full time back in July, Suze was still moving in … but she has not even been able to live in her house properly yet. She was dreadfully slow at getting her house unpacked … why? The cancer, working full time and helping me … and she started her radiotherapy back in the start of October and from that point she then started staying at her friends house.
She does go back to her house once a week just to check it over … but she desperately misses her own space … because YES , she will be eternally grateful for her friends’ support – but, it is still their house, she is a guest. Suze is missing her own space, being able to relax and chill down to her own surroundings … so this too is hard on her. She will be glad when the stomach PEG is removed and she can start recovering in her own place, and start to get on with her life again.
But in the time between now and that time in the future – Suze slowly recovers, one day at a time.
Thanks for reading , catch you again soon!