To Tolerate Or Not Too Tolerant, That’s The Question!

To Tolerate Or Not Too Tolerant, That’s The Question!

How tolerant do you think you are as a person or individual if you wish? Can you put up with more than most people … are you so broad minded that you will accept not just a difference of opinion, but maybe directed rudeness or otherwise regular or repetitive annoying traits from people with a shrug of the shoulder and a care free attitude?

Are you so keen to keep the peace that maybe you’ll accept more than others in order to do so? Or are you blunt, disrespectiful of people’s opinions and prefer to shoot from the hip and damn the consequences of your actions?

Tolerance is a virtue right?

A sign of respect for another person’s beliefs and or opinions and about offering another person dignity however you personally may feel about them. With a tolerant behaviour in place you can listen objectively to debates and discussions that perhaps you might not be able to take on board without tolerance or patience of difference of opinion. With the ability to tolerate you are then able to offer diplomatic and peacable solutions … you can listen to people properly, with an open, absorbing and agreeable mind.

The gift of tolerance is about accepting flaws or handicaps from others at times also …….. obviously there is a difference between nontolerance and intolerance – but we all have our boundaries and limitations as to what we are willing to accept and expect from our fellow human beings.

But like most behavioural traits – tolerance too does have its limits with each and every one of us .. what are your limits for tolerance?

How much will you tolerate until the point you simply can’t and at that point what do you do? Walk away, snap, react very differently to normal or still simply accept the behaviour in the hope that things will change or that you can improve them?

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Let me know your thoughts, comments and answers below in the comment section.

29 thoughts on “To Tolerate Or Not Too Tolerant, That’s The Question!

  1. I think I am the antithesis of the typical Victor Meldrew type. I have grown more tolerant with the years. 😁
    I don’t respect other people’s beliefs, opinions etc. if I think they’re wrong!, but I might respect, or at least tolerate their right to have them. Then I will sigh and walk away…

  2. I’m more tolerant than most with respect to some things and less tolerant than average about others. It just depends. For example, I’m an atheist, but unlike a lot of other atheists I have no problem with believers. On the other hand, I have zero tolerance for racists and anti-semites.

    1. Yes, l am more tolerant with a lot of things from people to behaviours, but l can’t stand racism of any kind, or minoritism or animal cruelty and or violence.

  3. Like Paula, my tolerance is different for different behavior. If something is unjust or cruel, I have zero tolerance. If someone is doing something irritating but not in my zone, I just ignore them and let them be. If it’s a family member, I usually exhibit the tolerance of a saint. I keep on absorbing it till I can’t! If it’s my husband, then he knows my limits.

  4. What I do depends on the context. Most of the time, I’m ok with agreeing to disagree and moving on to a different topic. However, if a person wants to thrust their opinion forcefully in my face, my reaction will depend on how much I value the relationship and whether I think they (1) know something I don’t, (2) are uninformed about something I know, (3) prejudiced, (4) being willfully annoying, and (5) willing to have an intelligent conversation or not. I probably have the greatest tolerance for people whose intelligence I respect, and the least for bigots and religion freaks. For example, I’m somewhat left of center politically, but I think that George Will’s analysis of the Gettysburg Address is a great read. I work with one insurance company that actively uses religion to motivate the sales force. I really like one product of theirs, but I use the mute and volume buttons a lot.

    1. Yes religion can be a problem at times especially from those very closed minded with how they promote it to others and whether the others are actually wanting to know about it or not.

  5. Well you can’t change anyone… so don’t hope someone will change for you or think you can change someone – that is never the case.

    You have to accept someone based on who they are and what you are ok with and can handle.

    I am always open and will tell someone if I have any issues or problems with their behavior or anything they said. I am honest and direct with things

    I usually don’t have issues with anyone … I’m the easiest going person

    As a matter of fact… there is a guy who is hard to handle currently – he is just a person I know – but he is hard to handle because of his harsh rude and blunt words… it’s not that it’s ok… because sometimes it is not and if he speaks like that to me – I’m out … but I am a friend because he does not have many at all … just me and one other?

    In his life … people were harsh and mean and he went through hell… so I can relate in aspects – I can understand his hurt and pain.

    I am helping him right now because he wants me to find out info for his final plans – I also have to make sure he is doing ok and isn’t depressed … well I don’t have to do that – but I just do.

    You handle what you can handle… there are some people that can absolutely NOT be in my life …

    Like my ex- nope – I can’t handle being in same area as he is. And I am also not willing to deal with him – there was violence involved with him and nope… I want to never see his face again!!

    Basically make sure you stay happy – if you can’t handle someone just tell them what bothers you so they are aware cause that might be it too

    I am American so unless you tell me something offends you, I won’t know?

    If it infringes on your happiness you need to figure out… if person is worth having in your life and can you just accept who they are?

    I do understand there are times when you just can not take it anymore and are done. Nothing wrong with that. You need to keep your mental health strong and you deserve to be happy too. Don’t forget yourself

    I also am heart ridden type person – so I feel heavily for people in pain? I am really good with comfort and understanding personalities? I am just very highly aware with emotions good or bad – and also am learning who is ok and who is not

    You can’t save everyone, and some are just brutal so why keep that? You can have compassion but if they too much – say what you have to say, then do what is best for your own self – distance ✌️

    Although I am probably not the one to ask this of …because – I like to distance lol 😘✌️ and then I am also extra cautious.

    1. “I am American so unless you tell me something offends you, I won’t know? ”

      I don’t think that above makes for any great difference in truth Trisha – not all Americans are base blunt people completely clueless to people’s opinions.

      I think the more universal aspect might be true, but not specifically a racial one – there are as many ignorant Brits, Ozzies and Americans as there are Canadians and Europeans and everywhere else around the world.

      An interesting answer 🙂

      1. Well yes not all are like that and yes there are rude people all over the world…

        Hahaha I just said I thought we be the rudest? Not that we clueless to opinions – just that most tend to live knowing what is around in their life and how they know to be…

        And as an American woman I am not bothered or offended by TOO much – yes there is some – but I would always say so.

        If I am misunderstanding something that offends you then yup you have to tell me. ✌️

        And sometimes you take it way too deep lol 😘✌️

        1. Well I never said Americans were base blunt people clueless to others opinions

          But we do not have the religious or status rules other places have

  6. I am very tolerant. When I was younger it was more fear of conflict that had me taking whatever anyone wished to dish out.

    There was always an acceptance of different cultures and lifestyles because I grew up surrounded by it.

    I don’t like people who try to “convert” me to their religion or political view or whatever. I’m open to discussion, but get too pushy and I’m out… depending on the person the degree of “out” varies.

    I will give straight up rude people a few chances. I understand bad days, or misunderstandings or whatever, buuuutttt… I *do* have limits. These aren’t set in stone but if someone pushes me too far, and they’ve been warned before. Its bye-bye. I don’t have time to waste on nonsense like that.

    Did I answer everything? I’m a little scattered today. Ha! Today?? 😂


  7. Maybe 2020 would change my answer to that?

    A friend of mine who works for the NHS was telling me about a patient the other day who wanted a covid test so he can travel. Without a negative test result he will not be allowed on the plane. He was prepared to pay for a private test and he wanted to do it himself in private. When she asked him more questions he got real odd and said he thinks covid is all a hoax. He told her he was going to use the swab across a piece of meat just so he could get his negative result and travel.

    In the past I think I was more open to people believing whatever they want – but now I am starting to think that is crazy.

    I am starting to think it would be better for people to learn why their beliefs are incorrect – message delivered in a nice way that does not humiliate them – and then maybe we can be more united as a world and work together to accomplish goals?

    But I don’t know. Unity of belief is no easy task.

    1. On that level Jenna, l agree with you and was having a conversation with a friend just this morning about it when we were discussing this post and why l wrote it and what prompted me to do so – or what triggered me. Then we had a conversation just like yours about the non believers and have much are we supposed to tolerate from these crazies?

      1. It’s a tough one. They say seeing is believing, but two people can see exactly the same evidence and interpret it differently.

        Now we live in a world where there are countless thousands, maybe millions of viewpoints, beliefs, outlooks, values that people are passionate about – and we spend the last few decades fighting for their rights. We have bolstered the legal framework for anyone to state their belief and live by it and not suffer discrimination.

        So, there is this huge fear, if you start picking apart all those legal rights because of one issue – where will it end?

        It is especially complicated as it is a medical matter. People have the legal right to self-determination. If they want to they can refuse chemotherapy even if the Doctors think they will deteriorate more rapidly without it. But people are allowed to make informed choices on the basis of the information available about various treatments.

        The whole rush rush rush manner these vaccine is making some people nervous. I do think they should start publishing more information about the vaccines for people to be dignified with information about what they are taking.

        But yeah – honestly Rory, I think the issue of all the different ideas and beliefs out there is an interesting one. What would it take to open people’s eyes to what is I guess “truth” in a way that they could not choose to interpret it differently?

        Answers on a post card please.

  8. I’m here because your comment section on good people doing bad things is closed.
    Personally, I believe that everyone is capable in perfect circumstances. However, for some, the circumstances don’t need to be as complex and for others. It’s weird when I hear people say: “He/she couldn’t do it. He/she couldn’t even harm a fly.” Weeeeelll… Also, we are consistently told now that we can do ANYTHING we put our minds to. So… if you mean anything, you surely mean anything, right?

    As for tolerance, it’s difficulty. I feel like sometimes, tolerance is not a good thing – just because you keep quiet doesn’t mean you endorse what the other person is saying. You keeping quiet often emboldens you to do and say crazier things. But, yes, we need to be tolerant. Obviously, we all have somewhat different ideas about a variety of topics.

    I try to be patient with people, but I do have my limits.

    You can disagree all day with someone, but once there is no mutual respect, gloves are off.

    1. Hey Sam, great answer. I was having a conversation like this with both a friend and Suze recently. Suze says at times l am too nice and too tolerant and l say ” ‘yes at times l am, as life is just too short to make your otherwise good day a bad one … BUT if l am pushed too much, l can snap and the kid gloves have to come off’.

  9. I think tolerance is needed today, and I have a great deal of it. BUT that being said, I have a great deal of tolerance for someone stupidly liking tRump. I have no tolerance for someone telling me tRump isn’t hurting America. I can walk away from someone’s stupidity still thinking Covid is not real. I have zero tolerance for sick people still going out and interreacting with others and risking the lives of other people.

    It’s the same as you may smoke and cause yourself harm. But when you expose me to it, it is not OK. Covid is so much worse and your right to stupidity should not cost me my life.

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