Help Hiding The Body?

Of All Your Friends Who Would Help Hiding The Body?

How many friends do you think the average person can have or manage or successfully sustain and by this l mean in the following brackets ….

Intimate FriendsBestest Friends
Close FriendsFriends
Casual FriendsCasual Acquaintances

I was thinking about this the other day when l read an article that suggested the average person can maintain 15 real life friendships as opposed to the average person on a social platform who can maintain 150 friends properly.

The person with 15 friends in real life only considers 55% to be genuine friends and 25% to be friends that could be relied upon to help hide the body! Whilst the person on a social platform with 150 friends considers 30% to be genuine friends and could however only truly rely on maybe 10% to help hide the body!

In real life looking at the above grid – l have 1 Intimate and Bestest friend which is Suze – close friends erm, none, friends 2, casual friends 5 and casual acquaintances maybe 12. Who would help me hide the body? Probably Suze.

On my social platform which is Facebook – a platform l only really use for the Messenger service – l have had a Facebook account since 2009 and in those 11 years l have acquired 42 friends. Of those friends – 1 is from school, 4 are from college, 8 are from gaming, 1 is Suze, 4 are from my old days in Twitter, 5 are from WordPress, 6 are from the early days of my joining Facebook, 2 are from Suze’s family and the rest are from my days with my business. Of them all, l think only 4 would help me hide the body and 2 would help me chop it up into little pieces!!

Now, from real life to social platform and whilst we are here, why don’t we look at our Blogs as well shall we? With all the followers that you have – and using the grid above – how many do you think are your closest in percentage terms but also, of that percentage, how many would help you – hide the body?

I have 2500 followers, and l would have to say of that number, l class roughly 2% to be friends and of that number 40% as good friends and of that number again l think perhaps 3 would help me hide the body, most assuredly 1 and probably cackling all the way!! Which is more than enough really isn’t it?

So, working with the percentages and the grids above – how many friends do you have in either real life, social platforms and WordPress that would help YOU hide the body?

47 thoughts on “Help Hiding The Body?

    1. What? Paula, that’s not good! Look if you ever get stuck – give me a holler – can’t have you stuck with a dead body lying around the house, they smell, and the stains are simply awful to remove … but if you ever need a hand – l will try and assist πŸ™‚

      Afterall it’s only a dead body ……. l can chop up also if that makes it easier πŸ™‚

      Just make sure there is plenty of coffee at hand πŸ™‚

      1. Lol! But it’s true. When I’ve taken breaks from social media, everyone disappears. I don’t get texts or emails asking if I’m okay, so I know none of them actually care about me unless I’m actively posting. As far as real life friends, meh. Most like me bc I’m funny and enjoy games. Again, they don’t seem to care if I disappear. The only people I can really count on are my daughters!

        1. Oh that’s awful – we have to up your numbers somehow – the last thing you need to do is implicate your daughters in a missing dead body scam πŸ™‚

        2. I sometimes go weeks without hearing from anyone. It is really sad how technology has made it so easy to stay at home isolated, even for those people that like to be social.

  1. I don’t know Rory, who among my real life and online friends would help me hide the body? I’ve never asked any of my friends to something ill- adviced or illegal for me. I have four friends from college/ school who are very old friends and just like sisters. Then there are two friends from recent years. All are very sincere and the best of friends.

      1. I think if it really came to hiding the body, I would ask you to help me. You seem to have some experience in this regard! 🀣

  2. So, working with the percentages and the grids above – how many friends do you have in either real life, social platforms and WordPress that would help YOU hide the body?

    Real life: Maybe five people. Two of whom MIGHT help me hide a dead body. But only after complaining a lot about the work involved.

    Social: Between here and FB (which number is dwindling rapidly as I only go over there very very rarely) , I have probably 50-100 ‘friends’, most of whom I’ve never met IRL. There’s a good number of those I could call on to help me hide a virtual body.

    I’m glad I’ll never find out who might help me hide a body. There’s an excellent chance I’d get turned down, because trying to organize some real life help for someone I know who needs it has proved to be an exercise in futility. NOBODY wants to help anyone any more. Maybe they’re scared of Covid, and maybe Covid has just turned most people into grouchy and sour bags o’ skin. But it’s not a good thing however you look at it.

  3. The only Social I use is WP. I have a Twitter but never go there.πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ
    My only IRL friends are my daughters and they would definitely help me, but I wouldn’t wanna ask them.

    Out of my blog friends… there are 3 that I chat with away from the blog and if they were closer they’d totally help meπŸ˜† There are several other blog friends that haven’t moved away from blog, but I consider them friends, some of them would probably help me, and I them. I’d drive up to help PaulaπŸ˜‰ she’s the closest to me I think.

    I guess you better make sure your passport is current, you’ll be busy I’d dead bodies start turning up.πŸ˜‰

    And if I’m the “cackler” you’re right! If not, then make it 2 cacklers

  4. My few, close friends, are as aged as I am and would not be much help in getting rid of a body. That being said I could probably get my hands on some “chemicals” that might take care of things. LOL

  5. Honestly, probably two. Over the past year I feel I have made some friends by blogging. In my life at home I have two friends I know would stand by me no matter what. I just lost a friend to cancer, she would’ve told me to go home while she did the digging! Lol. I have a good handful of friends but not that many and I am perfectly fine managing that!

    1. Hey Christine, thanks for answering also the basis of the question which was how you managed the friends you did have irrelevant to a body being disposed of πŸ™‚

      Mind you, if a friend can do it all for you – that’s all good too πŸ™‚

  6. If I thought about it probably 2. A friend on Facebook while I have never met her would be the type to do it without asking questions. In real life 1. When I was dealing with bullies in my life she was the one who told me I will back you up or bring bail money.

  7. I cackled. And cackled.
    I have four bestest friends I would count on to help me hide a body. The 5th I am only not including because she is pregnant. The rest are work friends or aquaintences via work. πŸ™‚

  8. To turn this on its head, would I assist anyone in hiding a body? No. What kind of friends do we chose to have; ones that make such demands?

    Now if it were a close family member needing help, maybe.

    1. Worry not Stephen you are in the list, 1] for your humour, 2] your bawdy aptitude toward horror and 3] because your name is unknown mawahahahaha πŸ™‚

Comments are closed.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: