Who you gonna call?

Who you gonna call?

No Puns were hurt during the assembly process!

The Blokes New Digs Directory

If you 1] know me and 2] know me really well personally and 3] are looking for someone with adept handiman services …… you’ll know that unlike the Ghostbusters – no one actually calls me ……. like ever! I have limits and boundaries and not just those on the spectrum when it comes to my skill set!

I often ask myself these days ……

“Rory what are you truly good at .. really?” I will be asking you all later on today or should l say at some point today and probably before you see this post, you’ll know to what l refer to! Although when l ask the question you’ll not UNTIL you see this post! But you might, as this is a 4th post and that means it can go anywhere and not necessarily in 4th place!

Things l am really good at ……….. therefore are:

Confusing people!Imagination
Creating new conceptsUseless Facts
Grunt work in the gardenComposting
Motivating PeoplePositivity
Adventurous Bits, Nips and Knobs an’ Bots in the Bedroom!I am quite funny!
Not that bad at writing..Designing advertising and marketing campaigns
Cooking Oriental Stir Fry’sErmmmm and mm and some other things l am sure – l just can’t think of just yet!
I can tolerate performing reeeeeeeeeeeeally boring jobs …….. because the repetition excites me!!I have been told l am not bad with my hands and things!

All of these things are great …….. BUT …. when it comes to the serious practical side of me , l am really not very good. I have had loads and loads of misadventures, accidents and clumsyitis in the past! From angle grinding my testicles to the point of fire, jigsawing my fingers off, electrocuting my hair … the list is endless!

Power tools and l have serious words when we get together! Power Tools win ….. and l do not! So l have learned my place in the world and l may well forte in the world of hankery, pankery, bondage and fetish but when it comes to the likes of handmannery and carpentry and drillery …. [also l am not bad, pretty good actually at inuendo] – because l am not that bad at drillery actually!] l tend to lose my footing!

With regards Do-It-Yourselfery – l am not bad at certain things as in very hands on, but with regards serious practicality as in my craftsmanship being of a functional use …. l am a bit screwed! All puns aside of course!! I can’t actually remember the last time l was just a bit screwed!

However, digressing aside …….

As this house slowly takes shape – l find myself at the mercy of the ol’ Assembly Syndrome! By this l mean l am bloody useless, not at all savvy nor in any way a tech head! Who is? Suze ……… last week, Suze was very busy putting various things together as that is her forte and l am a sort of Gopher or Gofor but not a very good Go4! I get bored very quickly and tend to wander off especially if it looks like Suze has everything under control which for the other assembled things l was Go4ing for not displayed today, Suze was in control!

One of the things however that was causing us serious distress last week was the Master Bedroom’s metal bed ……. l wasn’t just a Go4 but an actual “You had best stay and help or else Mr Gopher!!” I am always wary of anything that has the additional stipulation added of ‘Or Else!!” Not to be taken lightly!

Things that went against us that afternoon were – it was really hot, the sweat was just running off us. These old buildings during the hotter months really hold their heat bloody well – hope they do just as well in winter!

Also not good were the instructions from the manufacturer which were not the most helpful, the flat slats were seemingly a gift from the devil over that of the gods and finally of the pair of us, one has a very dodgy knee and can fall over air and has white scrawny sparrow legs and an unmoving double chin whilst the other one always looks good no matter how scruffy she maintains she is!!

Although l discovered l had a flair for pushing annoying flat slat slits into slots – l know?? Who knew??

I found to my delight that despite getting stuck in the bed frame …… yes moving on, that l was able to serve the Gopher role well as l had sufficient thumb strength [gamer’s thumbs rock] to push slits into slots or is it slots into slits?? Matters not, l am pretty good at slipping bits into bots into slits and slots!

A 4 hour job well done – despite the instruction saying 45 minutes with two people!! Oh right ….. erm what is that term Socrates used …….. oh of course – Bollocks To You Pal!

But slowly and surely things are getting done!

Thanks for reading, catch you soon!

10 thoughts on “Who you gonna call?

  1. My mattress sits on top of the boxspring on the floor. I decided I didnt want a lot of junk finding it’s way under the bed, so there is no under the bed.
    I’m glad you finally have your bed to sleep in now.

    Yes, JB… please stay away from power tools. 😱

    1. Oh, as of yet l am still not sleeping in the bed. I am waiting for my bedding to arrive. The bedding l have is right for the other mattress but the new mattress is slightly deeper and so the old stuff doesn’t fit.

  2. I have been there. It’s never easy or simple. And the one very essential quality you need is determination.

  3. That’s funny… you made some cool memories ❤️ and learned how to do! Congrats on the slats lol

    People should just be who they are… don’t try to fit into society – screw it – be happy, be who you are … that’s what makes the world more incredible.

    Just be happy in who you are… but also learn – always learn… you learned you could push those slats!! Pretty cool! Every victory no matter how little is awesome!! And look at the smile on your faces! You guys look like you had a little bit of fun!

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