Keeping Track of New Journeys!
A Different Approach to the Calm before the Storm …
This weekend, Suze will be [with my help] creating her first ever blog – it’s been on the books for a couple of years now – but she has always struggled with a genre – a topic of interest ….. until now ……
2020 as a year has been , mm – how shall l put this? Well the truth l guess … a bitch! Perhaps more of a Bitch Slap and even more candid l would actually say a Murphy’s Bitch Slap! Every step of the way this year, Murphy has been present in not just my life, or Suze’s or Scrappy [RIP], but everyones – yours too.
Life is about journeys, trekking, taking paths and walking down them, exploring new territory or territories. discovery – it’s a full on adventure – for the good, the bad, the ugly, the fugly, the not so pretty, the shitty, the gritty, the bitty – done properly and with some risk or risque attached you can lead quite the extraordinary life and lifestyle … you can if you want.
Goalposts widen all the time .. now this is where this post and the itemisation starts to get tricky so l do hope you are keeping up with not just me, but are keeping up with me as a person and me as a blogger? It’s imperative that you know both of us to a certain degree ..
1] You should know l am an Aspe …
2] ……….. this means l have autism.
3] You should know that l like to live my life in black and white and l hate not just sudden changes but anything that dances in the grey and confuses logic? I am not unemotional nor overly emotional [unless it’s about animals or those close to me] .. I am not particularly social, l am not anti-social l am more of an asocial character or selectively social – l tolerate … I am not a full on introvert, nor am l a full on extrovert – l am however an ambivert – this means l can swing into either zone but personally prefer the middle.
4] I ‘normally’ don’t cope that well with widening goalposts or moving the goalposts if you prefer and YET this year all l have done and learned to roll with is widening goalposts as in starting with one goal or target and then that moves to a new location and so l have learned to move with it. It’s like Suze and l split in April …. BUT that wasn’t entirely true, it was and it wasn’t and you will have read before that l made reference to my life was becoming complicated …………… because of wideing goalposts!
One of the complications is that whilst l live again as a single bachelor – l am not an actual bachelor – l am actually still in a relationship with Suze – but after five years of living together – we just don’t live together anymore under the same roof – Suze wanted her own space but wanted to keep the relationship …….. that was a little complicating … so we are in a relationship and we are a couple but we are also FWB [friends with benefits] not to other people but just to ourselves. Of all the compliations this year that has been a tongue twister – but not life threatening, just confusing to an a black and white Aspie….
Life is l think meant to be complicated , l don’t think life is meant to be simple nor easy, but challenging – if it is too simple or too easy – l think you are doing something wrong! So therefore with that piece of objective logic complication and complexity is the new black and white normal. If you accept that – then Murphy becomes almost myth like and unequivocally impotent!
My life is complicated but this Aspie is learning to cope with the new leanings and rollings of complexity……..
I was with Suze today as moral support to her visit at the William Harvey hospital in Ashford, Kent to see a maxillofacial consultant – l wasn’t allowed to attend this appointment with her, but l will be with her at both the consultant’s request and Suze’s at her next appointment on the 17th August when we learn the results of today’s blood test and the final prognosis of her cancer.
Suze was diagnosed with Tongue cancer this morning and the blood tests were to determine if it is early stages or if it has spread to other parts of her body such as her neck, jawline, abdomen and or stomach. Hopefully that is not the case. Tongue cancer is very curable if caught early enough and Suze is above everything a fighter and l am above everything else a motivator – a clinical kicker of arses if l need to be. I have said to Suze we will beat this together and we will.
I am not going to pretend and say Suze isn’t upset or that l am not, because we both are … although truthfully Suze’s immediate reaction is a state of surrealism as in she feels more third party about it – it’s happening to someone else – not her. The calm before the storm l feel…
So l just wanted to say thank you to you all for your well wishes and concerns – currently Suze is as well as she can be considering, she is optimistic about her future and to quote someone – a dear friend of mine – we are not all ‘doom and gloom’ about it – so worry not – it is just another track to be walked, another journey to be trekked – a different approach is all that is required to get from A – B this time. But you’ll C we can do it.
I will keep you updated to Suze’s Journey and her new blog when that goes lives ..
Thanks for reading folks – I’ll catch up with y’all again soon!