Season 5 – 541 –
Journal Memories …….
2nd August 2012 ………..
I have made a list of my life in the caravan …. and what l have to move.
|1 6″ Mattress having sold expensive bed frame in 2009 due to it not being able to fit into caravan bedroom.|
1 Computer Desk and Computer.
1 Broken Television set and DVD player.
1 mangled kettle, battered microwave and toaster.
Box of assorted crockery and cutlery.
900 DVD’s and 300 Books
Jumble styled clothing heap of once proud wardrobe due to damp caravan.
Box of assorted bits, charity shops would gladly throw into the dumpster!
Two dogs and one ragged and battered human.
Time it took to pack up and move my life away from the caravan – 3 hours ……… what?? 3 Hours – how is it my life is now only 3 hours long?? That’s got to change!
3rd August 2012 ………..
Crikey, as it all starts to sink in – one finds themselves pondering on making a home again. The last nearly four years here were ideal for many reasons and only in the last 20 or so months did it become very painful to dwell here. But here, l finally rediscovered my identity – not an easy task l tell you. But yes, once l leave here, l will be now making a home that is owned by the me of today and ironically despite knowing who l am now – l have not got a foggiest what a real home truly is. That will be a challenge indeed.
3rd August 2020 ………..
Dang, but there is an eerie spookiness to this memory – here l am 8 years to the day in a very similar position to 8 years ago – and guess what? Well 1, I am still slightly vague about how to actually make a home and 2 l am in the process of reidentifying with me again … maybe this time l’ll be luckier for the next 8 years!
“So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we’ll never know most of them. But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.”