|Morning Musings Directory|
|Season 2 – Spring Summer 2020|
|Series 2 – “Awakening to Changes”|
|Monday 22nd June 2020 – Stroll Time 65 Mins/6000 Steps|
|Adult Onset ADD – Adventure Deficit Disorder [OA-ADD]|
It’s a real thing … apparently … OA-ADD – although, abbreviated like that it reminds me of some Viking name … “Go an see Oaadd the Herbalist he’ll sort you out!” I first heard of OAADD admittedly here where l currently live – l say currently, because from the 6th July l will slowly start to move away from here and also currently l have been bit by bit breaking down my life here for four years and it’s been knackereding work. I am tired, a little unwell and stressed, but l am motivated and still positive.
I am looking forwards to moving to Sandwich, because it will mean l can start Season 3 of Morning Musings in a new location – the new series will be reflective l feel of rediscovering the lost me. Quite possibly l too will also redefine my own OAADD!
Blimey if l thought that the last MM was overdue at 7 days since the previous one, this one is well overdue! The last being the 10th June and here we are 12 days later … have l been lazy in that time? No, l have been bloody busy! I am currently running on a form of adrenalised nervous energy! This morning’s walk served me as a form of ‘Hair of the Dog’ but for coming down from being physically strung out!
I have not been getting up early over the last few days – my alarms have tripped at 5.55am and 6.35am respectively and both have been switched off and l have been dragging my sorry arse out of bed still tired from the day before and only marginally refreshed between 7am and 7.15am. It’s not just the physical achy body because despite all that l am feeling a lot better for the physical exertion and my body is appreciating the working – l need not worry about weighing in at 13 stone anymore, l have lost half a stone in the last week and slowly muscle build up is occuring.
Muscle mass is heavier than body fat anyway – my body is starting to define again, it wasn’t sagging, but it needed more definition and everything currently ongoing is providing that – but will the love handles ever go? Who knows!! My eyes have been one of the most significant aspects of making me tired. Most notably my left eye is causing no end of troubles for me and is always painful and looking tired. I will be glad when this damn move is over and l can relax and start discovering me and who l want to be again.
I think there is a certain element of stress even affecting my eyes in all of this … it’s stressful for a number of different reasons. But this morning’s walk was welcomed, not just because it was the first good walk for nearly a month but because l could just chill out for a while and enjoy the beautifully blue high ceilings of the day. Now as l sit typing this post for early this afternoon – the time is currently 11.47am – when l set off for my morning walk at 8.25am – there wasn’t a cloud in the sky and three hours later, the day is warm and still blue but cloudy!
It was a sexy kind of day you know? Yeah, a few of you will know those days all too well! Like Lou Reed’s Walk of the Wild Side when weed was just weed and made you drift into simplicity!
I didn’t know where l was going to walk this morning, or how long l would be out, or how many steps or direction or, or, or …. l just knew l wanted to walk! I wanted the adventure of walking, to be out in the day, in the sun, in the fresh air, away from the house, away from the packing and deconstructing, l wanted to feel alive and not knackered and l wanted to feel the stimulations of the day awaken my own sensuality. That’s what l wanted! You can’t put a number of steps or direction on that feeling – you just have to do it – you have to adventure.
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”
― Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967
So l just walked and felt great for it, and stretched the muscles that are not being stretched in the garden and made some more vows to myself about my new me life as a bachelor – setting goals and targets – enjoying my life and chasing adventure again.
But adventure is different to each person, every one individual identifies, recognises and realises adventure differently to the next person along. My adventuring are bound to be different to yours and they need to be, because we are only able to exercise our dreams by being different – by celebrating our own personal form of uniquity!
What does OAADD have to do with this post? Well, on the weekend just gone, Suzanne went Paddleboarding – it was something she wanted to do and has wanted to do for some time, but lacked the confidence or the opportunity … she was on her morning walk with a friend Saturday and we were set to start the shed out. But she and her friend Helen whilst walking in Ramsgate saw ‘Paddleboarding classes’ and thought … why not? One of those spontaneous moments and that brings us into OAADD and for those who know why Suze and l split up will understand all too well the presence of OAADD today.
England went into lockdown on the 23rd March which was a Monday. On the 6th April another Monday, Suze and l had a deep meaningful conversation about our plans as a couple but also discussed Suze’s post menopause and how l felt about it at the time – l was honest with her, l did feel guilty because l was brutally honest about her behaviour.
On Saturday 11th – Suze who had been reading one of my new positivity books informed me she had self diagnosed herself with OAADD and upon quizzing her about this … l was to learn that it stood for Adult Onset ADD – Adventure Deficit Disorder which was interesting and on the 15th April – Suze informed me l was not adventurerous enough and she wanted to be a singleton again … although she wanted her cake and wanted to eat it as well and still wanted me in her life as her friend which was great news even if a little confusing.
It was a lot to take on board and yet two months later, trust me when l say l am totally cool with it … BUT – l now want time to move quicker you know? I want to get on with my new life and am looking forward to the new chapters of my own singleton life. My life is mine again, like Suze’s life is hers – l think we will probably be excellent friends enjoying our lives as two people and as two friends.
So today whilst walking l was gearing up for my own form of adventures … because every one of us is uniquity you know? We all see things differently and so we should, life’s just way too damn short to not adventure it more! I will talk on OAADD more soon though …
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”
“I don’t much care where –”
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Where my adventures take me … who knows? Who cares?
Anyway, thanks for reading – catch you later