Body Comfort Only Skin Deep or What?
Strangely enough Paula of Light Motifs II wrote The Monday Peeve 40 today which was about Body Shaming and my question whilst not directly about that topic, does kind of touch on it in a way. That way is … Do you feel 100% comfortable in your own skin all the time? Are you happy with your body?
Now l don’t tend to watch regular news but l do chance upon stories in my MSN feed and l saw the huge hullabaloo about Adele’s weight loss and all the criticims that followed it. I wasn’t bothered, l like Adele full stop for her singing and what she does or doesn’t do body wise is down to her and her own comfort zone. It has nothing to do with me or anyone else for that matter it is to do with Adele only.
If she is comfortable at the skin deep level then that is all that matters, right? I know body shaming is a very sensitive subject and as Paula herself mentions – it is not a new topic – it has been around for a long time, long before the likes of social media and the various pundits decided to promote it all like it had never been a problem before then. Body shaming is bullying, another variation of people judging another and then bullying and shaming them!
I was talking with Suze over the weekend and she was saying that she is very conscious of her body and more so since she was ill last year and with all the weight she lost and hasn’t been able to regain that weight – she feels that her body simply isn’t good enough any more!? I was quite alarmed and saddened by her declaration admittedly. I told her to stop body shaming herself as that was just as destructive as being body shamed by another.
It is a very confusing subject in some ways because we all have this idea of what is considered ideal in so far as our own bodies – but sometimes we are also our own biggest enemies never mind society size shaming us we can do more damage by shaming ourselves.
At what point do we say to ourselves that we are no longer the ideal size, shape wise? If we don’t care what other people think – should we care more what we think? At which point does our body shaming become a priority with us? I don’t know if this makes sense actually?
I am currently not comfortable with my body size – l am a stone or so heavier than l want to be – it annoys me and more so because it isn’t comfortable being this size for me – l tell myself l have a furry football as a stomach on account of being quite a hairy guy, but l have what is called middle aged spread and being on the other side of mid fifties l am to a certain degree accepting of it – but it causes me pain therefore – it is not a shaming aspect but a physical discomfort.
It may be the stomach disorder causing me to have this shape – l don’t look oddy shaped, l feel oddly shaped, l am not too heavy, but heavier than l want to be considering the walking and the gardening l do and the amount of steps l do daily and exercise of sorts – l am uncomfortable skin deep wise personally, but am not bothered by what people think just what l think . Suze on the other hand seems to be bothered by what she thinks as well as what others think of her even if they don’t say anything about it.
I try and help where l can and encourage her to not think that way about herself and motivate her confidence. I think she has a great body and tell her so, but am also careful when saying that as l know that too might cause pressure so l do try an be balanced with it.
But I don’t know what to do to help her gain weight again – she did lose quite a bit of weight last year and she has gained some recovery weight – not back to her previous weight. She doesn’t over eat, but eats healthily, we both do. She exercises way more than me – she is a solid walker whereas l am a stroller. Whatever l do, she just doesn’t ever feel comfortable in her own skin and she is no longer happy with her own body shape.
Do you feel comfortable in your skin all the time as in are you happy with who you and your body are?
Let me know below, thanks. Rory