Body Comfort Only Skin Deep or What?

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Body Comfort Only Skin Deep or What?

Strangely enough Paula of Light Motifs II wrote The Monday Peeve 40 today which was about Body Shaming and my question whilst not directly about that topic, does kind of touch on it in a way. That way is … Do you feel 100% comfortable in your own skin all the time? Are you happy with your body?

Now l don’t tend to watch regular news but l do chance upon stories in my MSN feed and l saw the huge hullabaloo about Adele’s weight loss and all the criticims that followed it. I wasn’t bothered, l like Adele full stop for her singing and what she does or doesn’t do body wise is down to her and her own comfort zone. It has nothing to do with me or anyone else for that matter it is to do with Adele only.

If she is comfortable at the skin deep level then that is all that matters, right? I know body shaming is a very sensitive subject and as Paula herself mentions – it is not a new topic – it has been around for a long time, long before the likes of social media and the various pundits decided to promote it all like it had never been a problem before then. Body shaming is bullying, another variation of people judging another and then bullying and shaming them!

I was talking with Suze over the weekend and she was saying that she is very conscious of her body and more so since she was ill last year and with all the weight she lost and hasn’t been able to regain that weight – she feels that her body simply isn’t good enough any more!? I was quite alarmed and saddened by her declaration admittedly. I told her to stop body shaming herself as that was just as destructive as being body shamed by another.

It is a very confusing subject in some ways because we all have this idea of what is considered ideal in so far as our own bodies – but sometimes we are also our own biggest enemies never mind society size shaming us we can do more damage by shaming ourselves.

At what point do we say to ourselves that we are no longer the ideal size, shape wise? If we don’t care what other people think – should we care more what we think? At which point does our body shaming become a priority with us? I don’t know if this makes sense actually?

I am currently not comfortable with my body size – l am a stone or so heavier than l want to be – it annoys me and more so because it isn’t comfortable being this size for me – l tell myself l have a furry football as a stomach on account of being quite a hairy guy, but l have what is called middle aged spread and being on the other side of mid fifties l am to a certain degree accepting of it – but it causes me pain therefore – it is not a shaming aspect but a physical discomfort.

It may be the stomach disorder causing me to have this shape – l don’t look oddy shaped, l feel oddly shaped, l am not too heavy, but heavier than l want to be considering the walking and the gardening l do and the amount of steps l do daily and exercise of sorts – l am uncomfortable skin deep wise personally, but am not bothered by what people think just what l think . Suze on the other hand seems to be bothered by what she thinks as well as what others think of her even if they don’t say anything about it.

I try and help where l can and encourage her to not think that way about herself and motivate her confidence. I think she has a great body and tell her so, but am also careful when saying that as l know that too might cause pressure so l do try an be balanced with it.

But I don’t know what to do to help her gain weight again – she did lose quite a bit of weight last year and she has gained some recovery weight – not back to her previous weight. She doesn’t over eat, but eats healthily, we both do. She exercises way more than me – she is a solid walker whereas l am a stroller. Whatever l do, she just doesn’t ever feel comfortable in her own skin and she is no longer happy with her own body shape.

Do you feel comfortable in your skin all the time as in are you happy with who you and your body are?

Let me know below, thanks. Rory

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22 thoughts on “Body Comfort Only Skin Deep or What?

  1. I’m ok with my body. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m happy with it, as I preferred the way my body was before the current bunch of meds I’m on. But the meds are non-negotiable, and it’s been long enough that I’ve stopped wishing I could have my old body back.

  2. Rory, I do feel self-body shaming is more a woman thing. I have rarely felt good about my weight. When I look back now, I see times when my weight was so much less, and I did not even then feel good about myself. Physical maladies and prescription meds have forever altered my body. I have been through all phases of grieving the loss of what was. I am in acceptance now.

    1. Hey Lauren, l think you are right, from all the articles l have read on the subject – it appears that women espeically more so then men do self body shame and it’s not any particular age group. Sadly it starts from young … society has a lot to answer for with its expectations.

  3. I like to keep my weight around 190-195 pounds. Not for how it looks but for how it feels. If it drops below that, I’m not eating enough and I’m weak. If it gets too much over 200 then my gut gets in my way.

    I have noticed that my body shape had changed with age and that took a while to get used to. But it is what it is.

    I have plaque psoriasis all over my legs are especially affected and I still wear shorts in public cuz I DON’T CARE what people think. If you look closely at my new avatar pic you can see the psoriasis all around my nostrils. Imagine that in spots 1/2 to 3 inches in diameter all over my legs.

    If my body works, I’m happy. If my body doesn’t hurt too much, I’m happy. My body is not ME. I can dress it up or decorate it to express myself, but it’s just a body.🤷🏼‍♀️

  4. I have never had body issues … always been extremely confident there – also got lucky genes 🧬

    Love my body/love my features.

    Maybe once upon a time – I didn’t like all the freckles – there are a lot … but there is nothing I can do about those… now I don’t mind them – is me … it’s the Irish ☘️ I love my Irish 💚 … there’s just a lot though lol ✌️

      1. Lol … yes I definitely have confidence on that.

        However – having issues currently with daughter… since she is developing – she is comparing her beautiful natural full normal breasts to MY fake round reconstructed ones… so I do still deal with body image issues … I am gonna have to solidly make sure she also finds herself beautiful and does NOT compare!!!

        So I personally may not have body issues mostly, but I have a 13 year old daughter so now I am getting observed and compared 🤨

        She’s very hard on herself for no reason- she is beautiful… not the same – but beautiful … she has amazing curves that just came in 🤨… and the breast thing – oh boy!! I’m gonna have to work on that one… I want her happy with what she has… I only have fake because of cancer – but I don’t think I would ever have done if it wasn’t for that.

        I do not want my daughter feeling like she needs implants or needs to change anything!!! Ugh – that’s hard cause 13 is very critical!!! lol ✌️

        1. Well yes, you certainly have your work cut out with your daughter – 13 is an impressionable age indeed. Good luck Omatra 🙂

          Again, many thanks for the comprehensive comment very insightful.

  5. I have this discussion constantly with my husband…I don’t think there is anyone who is 100% comfortable with their body. There is always something too big or too small or shouldn’t be there or should be there…if you know what I mean☺

  6. I’ve never been comfortable with myself overall, which probably comes from being mocked so much as a kid, among other things. But I wear clothes that make me feel okay, so I don’t worry about it as much as I used to. I just wish my poor body didn’t hurt so much…

    1. Yes, l can relate to that – not the same degree, but if my body didn’t hurt or wasn’t painful, then perhaps my body wouldn’t feel so bad,.

  7. I went out with a fair few guys who were only interested in arm candy, looking how THEY thought I should. Ex partner took it to a whole new level and put me down so much, I felt less than what I clear up after Maggie on a bad day.
    Things came to a head and, long story short, I wasted a cup of good coffee over him, and over the next year rebuilt my life…………. and left!
    Now I like myself. Sure it would be nice if there was a bit less of me (even having a mastectomy didn’t help lose a few pounds LOL), but Hubby loves me as I am, whatever shape I am, as it’s the inner person that counts, not the wrapper. I think I tart up pretty good for an old trout, but don’t feel I have to and I’m clean and presentable if going out.. WYSIWYG, warts and all, but it’s the genuine article with a good skin attached………… lucky me, I never had acne or skin problems as a kid, teenager or adult.

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