Living Within Your Senses!
Part 1 – Introduction
My next door neighbour and friend Sam asked me the other day “Rory when you move into your new place after here and time with Suze, who are you going to be?” His question was implying that l would change my identity and to a certain degree l, of course will. There are certain elements to us that identify us as ourselves … but l did sit down afterwards and think about his question … “Who are you going to be now?”
I have as said previously, changed, adapated, evolved and changed various times throughout my life, usually as the result of one form of awakening or another and whilst l have changed and in some ways reinvented myself – l am still at the core – me. But l have noticed with each change that l lose some of me or l deliberately drop it and never look back – using the experience as a learning curve.
I personally believe that if with each new direction or awakening in our lives we experience if we do NOT change then we have failed ourselves as unique personalities. We owe it to ourselves to take something from the learning curve of life as often as we are either able to or it is awarded to us by life itself as a freebie of sorts.
Of course it’s not really a freebie – it’s more like a series of ‘earned Brownie points’. You lived it through the good and the bad and the points are opportunities for you to use these credits elsewhere to better yourself. It’s the foolish ones who continually have expectations of the same results whatever happens in their lives. They make an error and instead of NOT performing that mistake again, they do and think it will be a different outcome not understanding that had they simply changed the configuration and the formula itself then maybe – that is where the rewards are?
“Who are you going to be now?”
It’s such a broad question … who AM l going to be now to identify properly as me again? I have been me all the way through my life for both good and bad, my life with me inside it shaped and molded me into who l am today. BUT, at my own concession l have also compromised with parts of my identity to make the life of others as well as myself around others easier.
But now l am of the age when l am simply thinking “Fuck Off!” Or a vague recollection of a line in a Bridget Jones movie where upon l am of the age now where l can wear silly jumpers! Meaning it doesn’t matter or rather they don’t matter and l do so back to “Fuck Off I Will Be Me Again!”
What identifies us as us to the outside world, but what makes us us to us?
What makes us unique to another? Well, there are various factors to be taken into consideration … our personalities for starters and of course our overall attitude to life and the lives around us. How we got to where we are in the first place – by living our lives and acquiring experience and wisdoms along the way. The way you live your lifestyle as in your emotions and habits you have created, formed and adopted and adapted from others to suit your own needs.
Equally how you view life, as l have said a few times over the last few weeks – it comes down to your individual perspective. Personal taste, creative juices, imaginative flairs, desires and senses and of course what you want from life all determine themselves as components in your identity. Let us not forget what we do with our spare times, hobbies, activities, leisure pursuits and chases and quests. What we do with our jobs, what motivates and enthuses us, what are we passionate about.
We mustn’t forget l guess also our genes and our actual jeans, as in the style we opt to display to not just the world but ourselves. Our principles and moral codes … our emotions and how we feel about our minds and our bodies, our sensuality or our sexuality ……… all of these things make us – US! We are all unique and as such we should always strive to be different to keep our uniquity alive.
So l came back to Sam’s initial question … “Who are you going to be now?” A blank canvas awaits me and in some ways literally – how will l personalise me again and imprint myself to that canvas to create a bespoke and customised me?
Well l will explore that over the next couple of weeks but finishing up … something l can look at now is ‘Who or what am l not anymore?’ This part is pretty easy in truth … l am no longer a dog owner, l am no longer in an active relationship and l will no longer once l move really be an active gardener or composter per se – and whilst some may say ‘Hey! They are not identifiers – well – actually they are … like if you are a walker as opposed to a driver or a cyclist – these are also identifying traits to your personality and individualness! So there, smoke it!”
So l do know, l am no longer those four things .. l was researching this yesterday did you know that there are over 600 primary personality traits?? They are split into positive, neutral and negative. I know, l was also astonished!
Of course not everyone has the time to study over 600 traits and so they prefer to group them and even then that becomes incredibly complex … who will l be and who will l become? Well …. me of course!
Just different with some quirks, lots of colours and idiosyncrasies – but ultimately ME!
Thanks for reading, catch you soon!