Dear Blog – 13.15 – 06/06/20

The Dug Out!The Bloke’s New Digs!

The last time l was an actual bachelor as opposed to simply being alone in a relationship such as marriage and l feel sure some of my readership can relate to that behaviour and emotion all too well, l was a younger man in my later twenties!

Thinking further l would have to say that by March 1994 just a couple of months shy of my 31st birthday l was already living then with a girlfriend who became my wife of fourteen years in December of the same year. I don’t have many regrets with my life – but l regret the day l met that woman! She probably feels the same about me. But shit happens and then you move on.

Prior to that l had been a very successful bachelor albeit quirky but that’s not a crime that is just a sway! From my late teens l had been living out of the family home with my catering job posting me all over England and then once in retail in my early twenties till my later twenties again in a position of no fixed abode as in spending more time in hotels around the UK, than in my own London flat – it’s been a good many years indeed since l have lived in a permanent residence as a bachelor, a single man and NEVER have l done it as a middle aged man!

Damn but that reads odd … l am now a middle aged man! Fuck when did that happen? However that aisde, this middle aged man will now be starting life as a singleton again – the first time since 1994 – so 26 years and boy oh boy has the world changed since l was 31!

Yesterday l received the reference acceptance for me as the new tenant to my new digs which l am going to be naming ‘The Dug Out!’ A small mini series entitled The Blokes New Digs will start from next week as l go through the processes of digging out of where l currently live and digging in to my new place and journaling the occasion.

As of yet Suze has still not heard back from her referencing – but whereas l know why mine was uberfast and that is because of the old adage ‘money talks’ and my inheritence saw me through the credit checks at top speed whereas Suze is having to await her employers to write her a reference. If not for the inheritance l would have had a hell of a time securing property without a guarantor.

I will not be moving in directly, not until the house Suze and l share is tip top and ready to hand over back to the landlord. We are both very tidy people, but the house we took on board in July 2016 was not a nice place … it’s way better now and it’s astonishing how much better when you consider l will be leaving the new greenhouse here, a new dishwasher, blinds and curtains, a custom built wardrobe and the list of improvements and additions we have performed to make this place more habitable is long.

So our current landlord WILL not be doing bad out of this couple seperating! Of course there are bones of contention from Suze and l both concerning this … but hey, l didn’t 1] make the decision to start this process and 2] we can’t take some of this stuff with us to the new abodes so what choice do we truly have? We could sell, but neither of us have that kind of space available for storage if things don’t sell. The irony of this ClusterF is not lost on me.

My new place has to have furniture moved out and l can take up residence sometime in July so although l will pay six months up front, l’ll not move in till l have bills established there, the all important Internet connection for the Hub – the nerve centre of my identity – but l can start to move some things across to make the overwhelmingness of the move less stressful.

The new place is very bright, it’s a new refurbishment so it would be, but here are some photos of it. It’s two bedroom, one shower room, one small study/stores room, one en-suite bathroom, kitchen and lounge and outside courtyard and is a basement apartment below street level about ten minutes walk time max to the actual beach front. It’s on the very outskirts on Walmer on the Deal side. Twenty minutes walk time from Walmer Castle and Gardens and ten minutes walk time from Deal Castle and fifteen minutes walk time from the actual town of Deal itself.

I don’t need two bathrooms, but if ever l did … well it’s there and l only prefer showers and not so much baths – but hey – who knows what the future holds? Either way, it ticked a lot of my boxes and that is all that is important really to me anyway.

You can see my flat just below the parking.

It’s a good price as in affordable, it’s new and in a good clean state of repair and decor, it’s close to the town and other amenities, it’s below street level meaning it awards a peace of its own and it also has a chameleon aspect to it which is nice meaning it’s private and blends in and it’s quirky. It allows for the potential of a slice of nature and having plants because in addition to the courtyard l have my parking space which is mine and private to me. This allows for further flower pots.

Because of the grey of the build it will welcome colour and l can see this especially next year being really lovely ……… but in addition to everything else – it ticked the one main important box … l could see myself living there!

Anyway, l have things to do in the garden as well as mentally start to prepare for this change in my life so thanks for reading, catch you next time!

Dear Blog ……

31 thoughts on “Dear Blog – 13.15 – 06/06/20

  1. The place looks cheerful and welcoming. Enjoy your new status and new home!
    Who told you 57 in middle age? Take a look at the new standards of nomenclature, and you’re still a decade short of middle age, young man.

    1. Ha ha middle age starts at 55 – 65 and l accept that l am at the onset, but it’s still present. I am not saying l am an old man but l am a middle aged man and if l was take the average age of males in my family before they die which is 80, then l am already an old man ha ha 🙂

  2. Will jasmine & honeysuckle grow in England? I know you can grow lavender and roses. You need flowers that smell pretty and bring the bees and butterflies! And you need windchines and bring some bird feeders. Oh the possibilities…

    I’m very excited for you JB! I can’t wait to see how you personalize it!!

    Big congratulatory hugs!!💌 I’m Happy Dancing for you!🎶💃🏼

  3. I love it! Beautiful and new, perfect for a fresh start. The thing to do with the extra bathroom is to get a set of kitties and put their litterbox in there. Then viola! Cute little roommates 🐱🐱

  4. It looks delightful. But so white LOL I’m betting you can’t paint but I’m sure you have many colorful things to put on the walls. Container gardening is a thing, I read and you have plenty of room for that. Big plus in my mind is that so many amenities are within walking distance. Yes, lots of details to moving, such a PITA, but a fresh start – which you may or may not have wanted, but here it is – Scary and exciting!

  5. Very very nice. I’m sorry about the split, but at least the both of you didn’t keep lingering on, hoping it would work and thereby waste a lot of time over something that had ended. You’re brave too. I was with hubby for 22 years (four we lived together, eighteen we were married) and I knew it was a failure at about year seven. Lotta wasted years, but both he and I refused to let go of it. It is what it is. Now you said you hadn’t been ‘out there’ in twenty six years (give or take), right? Well good luck trying to navigate the waters because after hubby passed away, I very briefly considered dating and quickly decided it would never be for me. It’s vastly different from when I was young, and although you’re a great deal younger than I am, I suspect it’s vastly different from your time too. Good luck on this new adventure!! I’m glad you’ll keep us posted too!

    1. Hey Melanie, Suze and l will still be great friends. Not worried about the dating game all a bit risky in truth with C19. I thought you were 60 Melanie or have l got that wrong? I am only a few years out from you if that’s all you are 🙂

      Suze wanted the split for her independence and we will only be at max a couple of miles away from each other 🙂

      1. You’re absolutely right. You’re the same age as one of my siblings, I think I noticed that in a recent post you wrote. He’s only three years my junior. We DO share a generational history!!

  6. No wonder my son says that I am having a mid-life crisis… if I live to be 118 I will believe that 59 is mid-life. But staring over is in the air…

  7. Congrats!!! You will be happy there – that fell in your lap quite nicely.

    Beautiful place! Looks perfect! Congrats again!

  8. Good luck with the trials of moving and separating. I hope you are able to get most of your plants potted and moved. As a garden lover I always hated the thought of leaving any of my plants behind. They were nearly as important to me as my adored kids’. Although not nearly the same, but I’m sure you see the metaphor.

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