Dear Blog – 14.05 – 02/05/20

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Plenty for Twenty In The Wind For Sure…

Time is so strange, have you noticed the shifts in time in the last few months? Of course l know for the last six weeks more or less time has been different around the world and yet we have all shared something together whether we wanted to or not.

I was thinking only last night about how at the start of this year things looked already different and yet here l am five months on and things are not just different but profoundly different!

On January 12th Scrappy was put to sleep and that alone as a distinct change was horrible and the knock on effects of that are still being felt today. Tomorrow is 109 days since the 12th and YES l do look at it like that as well as in weeks it’s 15 weeks – where has that time gone to?

Then l think to the horrors of what became known as Black Summer for Australia – the very sad tidings of their bushfire season for 2019/2020 and how l wept at that. I wept for Scrappy, l wept for Australian losses. I didn’t weep for the pandemic and l haven’t cried yet with regards Suze and l. I don’t think l will.

Perhaps because l am not looking at our parting as the end but as a brand new start.

Whilst l didn’t see this episode coming l did. I just didn’t forecast the pandemic lockdown – but l sort of sadly knew that come the death of Scrappy. Changes would be in the winds. That didn’t disappoint me and l think that’s why l am not crying.

I have spoken with Suze this week long and hard and we have agreed that we will always be friends, but as a couple involved actively in a relationship – there’s a good chance that’s not going to work. This time next year things will be very different for both of us … on all levels.

We will still see each other just will not live under the same roof, and today we agreed that we would set ourselves a year, 12 months from today more or less a target where upon we would more than likely be parting .. but in order to get there comfortably in so far as new renting, job and income security we would be working together to achieve that.

The one thing that Suze and l do have and that has always been very strong is friendship – we are both mates to each other, we still love each other very much, but we realised that both os us, want different things in life. We are there for each other as support though. These plans may change … but truthfully … l am really thrilled for Suzanne and her wanting to explore more in life.

There will be a few changes in the way l blog … l will still have a blog, but things l have been working on for future will now become part of daily blog life . Of course l will write about it all in due course … but this is/was/is a heads up to my readership to say that there are changes in the wind which are starting from this weekend.

It is also a big thank you to my close friends – thanks for the support folks – genuinely and always appreciate it.

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Thanks for reading – Rory

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35 thoughts on “Dear Blog – 14.05 – 02/05/20

  1. None of us like change. I think for those on the autism spectrum it’s especially difficult. Even though it’s difficult, change can be a wonderful thing. Once the mess is tidied up and things are set in order, everything might be exponentially better.
    I’ve found that the hardest changes were giant leaps in growth for me.

    I’ll get my pom poms and cheer you both on! Happiness & contentment 🤸‍♀️💃🏼💌💌

    1. Hey Grandma, precisely. I think in truth Suze is more scared than l am – but as l have said – if we look at this in a positive way, then it’s not so bad at all – it’s just a big new adventure for us both 🙂

      Ha ha we might even find ourselves spending more time together as friends than we do now 🙂

  2. Such big changes for you both but done with love and understanding (and good plans), hope and happiness – well, it is sad and yet filled with positive expectations. So many emotions to deal with…

  3. I like how you’re able to look at things pragmatically. I do wish both of you happiness, together or apart, but always friends. Take care.

    1. Do you know it’s so funny you should say that or rather use that term Helen? I was thinking of the actual book By KWT – this one – Conscious Uncoupling: The Five Steps to Living Happily Even After and l remember the press savagely attacking Paltrow with regards her relationship to Martin and how their ending happened. It’s an interesting term and yet it’s quite apt.

      I think by establishing a target period, it also gives us something else and that IF during that time we discover we do want to keep together we have that option too 🙂

      But if that does happen, we are staying together for us and not because an external glue is holding us together

      1. That’s exactly how it should be! It should never be ‘an’ option.. staying together should only ever be because you don’t think you could be happy any other way

  4. Oh, my Dear, change is especially difficult for us Taureans, isn’t it?! We do like always having our feet on solid ground! But, it seems you are both going about the making of changes in your life patterns in such a constructive way. That is admirable, for sure! I do wish you both the very best and must say I’m so proud of you for being willing and able to make the necessary adjustments with love and consideration for each other. I continue to hold you in my Heart, wishing you well. 💞

      1. Too true! A double whammy! I’m reminded of my Taurean Aspergian Grandson’s difficulties adjusting when my Daughter passed. They did everything together, even so far as pursuing a College degree. He escaped by submerging himself in gaming. I was very concerned for him. Now, 4 years later, he is working his first ever job, is well respected at his company and thoroughly enjoys his 3 hour commute each way via the transit system, because, he said, he can play his games longer. 😄 I just love this guy and am so proud of him! He did all of this himself, too, by accessing online information and putting it all together, then following through on his plan. He turned 32 this year and seems to be happier now, in his new life that he created for himself, than ever before.

        1. Excellent – dang 6 hours round trip. Reminds me of the days l used to live in Margate Kent and worked in Lakeside [Thurrock] Essex for the time [early 90’s] a massive shopping complex. I didn’t drive, so l had to use public transport …. My journey each was was 6 hours and my journey back home was roughly 7 hours …. l kid you not, l spent more time travelling to the job than working it!

          I had to take three trains, one ferry, one coach – it was a nightmare!!

          But l loved the job.

          1. Amazing! There, you see, is such a fine example of the superior abilities that are obvious in both Taurean and Aspergian personalities! Most people wouldn’t even consider such an adventure, nor be able to manage such a strenuous and time consuming schedule, must less excel at it, as I’m sure you did!

  5. Sometimes you have to embrace the change rather than fight it. I really hope this change is ultimately good for both of you. Funny I was thinking last night about when I took the Decision to change The blog from just being about bereavement to a much wider content. I really wasn’t sure. It was so the right call. The irony is that of all the posts I’ve done on bereavement and parenting and Aspergers…. the one which has the highest views is a bit of Terrible poetry. Never saw that one coming. But that’s the exciting thing about change – you just never know.

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