The Too Many Walls of a Short Life!
Those who know me here as a friend, know full too well that l have been in a different world for the last two weeks – Morning Musings has been dealing with stresses and a couple of my other series have reflected those same stresses. I have been having to deal with my life in a different to normal manner because of the very nature in which we all find ourselves involved in globally.
It’s pissing down today and has been since late last night – it’s great for the garden, great for the water butts however, not so great for the walking and photography … so l opted to write a Dear Blog post instead – it’s another series of my journeys, about my life afterall my entire blog is dedicated to ‘Storytelling my Life for you!’
So it stands to reason that my readership and friendships alike will see me on my good, bad and ugly days, my down and up days, my enthusiastic and downhearted days and my negative and positive mood swings – that’s what life is all about isn’t it? How we react and interact with it, how we display and curtail our emotions to those who watch and observe us whether we know or do not know, whether we even know we are doing that …. with our emotions.
Life is so strange, and life is so short and when you at certain times in your life sit down on your philosophy or thinking stones and give thoughts to those concepts – the strangeness and the shortness you come to realise something else – how you fit into the whole fabric of your existence … well in the last few weeks, that is where l have been sitting.
Truthfully, l sit in the folds of my fabric everyday – l am a thinker, a hard core thinker, not just a ponderer, although l have been known to ponder also, but mostly l think and overthink and then l analyse those thinkings, think some more and then think on that, analyse more, think on that analysis and then slowly and surely using and utilising my life skills, my gift and to a certain degree my Asperger’s l start to objectively and clinically look at the pieces of the puzzle l am trying to solve.
In addition to my thinking strategies l plant seeds in people’s minds – of course a good motivator will do that – they could well be the seeds of inspiration. Some seeds l plant daily, others are long since planted but they grow slowly and it might be a while before they are ready to be harvested .. we just have to await and see how they mature.
In time many of you will come to read of seeds l have planted over the years in some of the series l have planned for future blogging.
Many years ago and by this l am referring to my mid to late twenties l used to be a profiler, it was a lucky break to secure that job, but it didn’t just land on my lap, l did have to work for it – l had to prove to my employers that l was capable of understanding people even when at times l didn’t understand myself. I studied psychology which l found both fascinating and extremely hard work, but rewarding.
Of course way back then l was just considered strange and eccentric, no one knew of the Asperger’s sitting beneath the pages of my chapters – l was just the affable oddball. People liked talking to me, l was easy to talk to … l didn’t judge anyone – but l could watch people at that time and just by asking the right questions without them even knowing l had asked them questions l learned about them – about their lives and their minds.
Making things slightly different to many folks l found l had an infinity with words, like a love affair l could see things in words many people couldn’t and l could read people through their words, l could touch their minds through words both mine and theirs … so becoming a profiler even just for the industry l was working with which was recruitment wasn’t that hard a move for me. I slotted into that persona very well.
Life is about personas have you noticed that? We change, we evolve, we adapt, we discover, we improve, we move on, we learn , we understand … we are all mask wearers to a degree … but as we age we learn from all of these personas or masks that we have donned over the years that make our lives our life. We take a little of this and a smidgen of that and add it into who we are … then we perfrom a number of different behaviours when our lives start to fill up – we declutter to tidy and we awaken to evolve and move forwards.
ALL OF US do this … those who do not, never change, they never move on, they never discover and they never learn who they are.
I have changed over the years since l was a profiler, a younger man, a teenager, a child, an adult, a married man, a career man, an activist, a thinker, a lover and or a friend … l have changed. I have slept, evolved, adapted, awakened and changed some more.
Today l do not wear the masks of my youthful yesterdays like l used or l try not to, this is NOT saying that at times l do not don one to live behind so as to think, because l do – we all do. I have on occasion recently had to live my life behind a mask to try and cope with my changing world.
I have come to realise during our current climate that life is very short with far too many walls and that sometimes, tradition and conventionality must be pushed to one side to find happiness. That the secret to life and the understanding of this wonderful gift is to never stop learning, to never stop evolving and to never stop moving and that sometimes changes are there to change us for the better, discoveries are there to encourage us to discover more of life and ourselves and exploration is there for adventure – that we MUST continue to journey, to walk and to trek the path of our life in order to achieve our quests.
That life as we know it is too easy to take advantage of and abuse … that we could so easily simply sit back on our haunches and let it slide like sand between our fingertips and that by allowing those grains to fall hopelessly to the ground below is nothing much short of allowing even more days to fade away and become meaningless to our lives.
That at times, great sadness is NOT that, but the path to joy and increased happiness, and that occasionally, in order to be seen as being positive you sometimes have to come across as destructive and negative – but the reality is that sometimes you have to let go of the petals of old in order to see the new growth beauty.
Catch up with you in Part 2
Thanks for reading