Welcome to Season 2
I remember many years ago and thinking – it must now be a good 15+ years ago – my then wife asked me for my honest opinion of a question she was about to ask me ….
“Please be honest with your answer Rory.” She said. “But does my bum look big in this skirt?”
Well l looked at her and tried to configure if this was a trick question – was she fishing for a compliment? Was she really after my honest opinion? Was she wanting me to lie or ‘honestly tell the truth?’ She was due to go to a friend’s birthday party and l knew she would want to look right.
15 years later l now know l answered the wrong way – l was asked for my opinion, l was asked to be honest and so l answered honestly .. “Yes, your bottom does look big in that skirt – my advice and this comes from working the women’s fashion industry for a good many years is to not wear white, but wear black. Trade it for your black skirt and your bottom will look more slender.”
You see that was my actual answer … l normally don’t give people the full answer to how l addressed the question l normally simply say ‘”I answered with a yes.”
However logical response or NOT my answer would never have been right or correct – my then wife didn’t go to the party and sobbed for almost two days. The man she trusted to tell her the truth did so, and she didn’t want to hear the truth – she actually wanted me to lie, but didn’t tell me to do so! It mattered not what l did over those two days to try and console her, as far as she was concerned l was convinced she had a large bum.
So many people always say to others ‘Go on tell me the truth, it’s okay’ when the reality is we live in a society that NEVER wants to hear the truth no matter how much they say they do….
Society now prefers to only hear lip service, half truths or lies to make them feel better … and because they have become so used to hearing this from people, they have simply forgotten how to understand hearing the truth – the real truth when it is awarded to them.
These days whilst l am still very honest l have learned how to read the situation slightly better … If l am however asked a question directly – l will always answer truthfully even if it hurts, may cause upset or sadly worse and on the rare occasion the truth has been known to kick off controversy. Whilst l am very honest … l have learned to steer clear of being asked so called ‘You can answer me honestly’ questions.
So the questions today are …
Should we always tell the truth even if we know it could cause upset/hurt/controversy to the asker.
Is the actual truth better than an honest opinion we hold or vice versa?
Which do you prefer to receive – the full truth no matter what or a lesser impactive version?
Let me know your views and comments below?
Thanks for reading – Rory