Morning Musings

Morning Musings

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Season 1 – Spring – Series 1

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Thursday

“Food Inglorious Feuds!”

Walk Time 25 Mins

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My stomach problem yesterday morning sat at around a manageable 15% and it stayed that way all day till around 8.30pm, so l enjoyed roughly 14 hours of what l tend to class as ‘normal and regular day time living’. The previous day, Tuesday was hell as the pain was around the 90% mark and yet last night the pain and discomfort shot up to a staggering 95%.  It finished me off really for the night and long before midnight l was in bed and feeling very unhappy about life again.

The pains l experience are varied from low threshold to excruciating and agonising and start in lower stomach and travel to lower intestine and the discomforts can make breathing laboured and a struggle, normal walking restricted to the point of leaning heavily to the left due to your balance being extracted from you or stooped like an oldman using a zimmerframe. You experience fevers and are flying from hot to cold in seconds and back again. You’re sweating most of the time and any further annoyances you can think of leave the funny side of life, to become the sadly and painfully annoying side. I lose my motivation and my humour very quickly when a flare up is present.

This week l have had another flare up of whatever this gastrointestinal problem is … l say that because it began in 1997 and here l am 2020 with the same problems but 100 times worse than they were when it all began. I have seen surgeons, doctors, consultants and specialists over those 23 years. I have sought out advice from dieticians, nutritionists and alternative healers and still something that began with me when l was 34 is still with me at 57.

I have had diagnosis after diagnosis and misdiagnosis of IBS, AIBS, IBD, diverticulitis, bowel disease, bowel cancers, gastrointestinal disorders, extended intestinal tracts, syndromes, ruptures, fissures, bowel and stomach infections, crohns, colitis, polyps and the list goes on. I have had enough tests, tablets, programmes and diets and proceedures over the years to write a comical ‘failure’ medical dictionary – as in what NOT to Expect from the Medical Profession when you are in pain!

All of this aside, when l awoke this morning at 6.05am … l had no energy. I stayed in bed till 6.15am at which point nature told me l had to get up and attend to functionality! I stumbled out of bed and walked lopsidedly to the bathroom – the stomach problem still present even after sleeping, the pain still intense and walking a mere twenty two feet from bed to toilet and l was bathed in sweat, with a body that feels like it has just gone twenty rounds with a baseball bat named Lucille!

Story of my later life!

So today l knew was going to be a slower day till this flare up decides to bugger off whenever that might be. But l wanted to walk and feel the sun on my face as well as just get out of the house for a while. Suze was up , but had not slept very well last night and was quite emotional this morning … another sign this lockdown is affecting her ability to cope and function and so took herself off to the sea to renew her own connection with the ocean. She told me to not overdo the walking and to not walk up or down any of the hills. I assured her l didn’t need telling on that level …

…. but of course, where we live is on a hill. Despite being in a valley we are still on a hill in that valley – wherever we walk, there is always a hill. But l needed a small walk somewhere flat or as flat as living on a hill can be.

Of the many walks we have here, you can enjoy a partial walk of a main walk without walking all of it, so l opted for one of those – something close by and relatively flat grounded. I opted for a walk that is only about five minutes away on a gentle stroll and takes about 15 minutes to walk around. Is sheltered, but is vibrantly natural – it has trees and foliage.

In yesterday’s Musings episode l paid mention to the Holiday Homes [Village] here and the scout camp site.  Well the camp site enjoys an International Prestige or it did prior to the pandemic sweeping in and the Holiday home are like a form of second home to some people. Although like a caravan they can live in location for something like 45 weeks of the year if they so choose, but they can’t be there for all 52 weeks.

Anyway, my walk today although small was on the limbo land that sits between the middle part of the village, the Holiday homes park and the International Scout campsite – a contested piece of ground in so far as actual ownership, but shared by everyone all the same.  The first image is the arial image displaying the village, the Holiday camp and the Scout Camping site.  whilst the second image just shows the land area itself.

I eventually set off for my walk at just after 8am, took time out and off to have a shower first to try and refreshen myself up and was back in the house by 8.30am. I arrived back just as Suzanne was walking back up the hill.

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To get to the ground, it is a case of just walking through Upper village to the scout camp itself, and then taking a small left and then you are there … it is the access point to a further five main walks or public footpaths that lead down to the village, to the camp and to both the beach and Walmer.

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This one just takes you down to the village itself – a direct line from the scout camp to either the post office and shop or indeed to the beach.

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If you walk to the left of that post you are on your way to the village shop and if you turn right you are then walking to the Holiday homes and their paths direct to the beach front.

Cha Cha To the left …..

…. Cha Cha to the Right!

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As said it is a small walk, but it is still enjoyable for a stroll and more so on a beautiful blue skied day when you have a seriously sore stomach and you are sweating like it’s going out of fashion ha ha! The image below shows the shape of the Holiday Homes or chalets  and those two roofed buildings are one home only and they are visible on the close up arial shot so you can get a perspective where l am and how long the walk itself takes.

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Today is going to be a lockdown day by itself  – Suze has taken a couple of days holiday and is now on a four day break. But l have my instructions and one rule to not break is no gardening. Stay inside and rest. Well l have my decluttering programme to start.

This comprises of literally thinning out data and informations that l have gathered for future use for whatever reason – but really trying to combat data overwhelm. But also today l am having to start a new food detox. This means in order to try and identify where the Food Feud currently is, l have to cut out a lot of food from my daily intake.

When consumed food starts to see your body as an enemy – you start to lose interest in many things and eating is one of them. As a trained and qualified chef l used to love working with food and crafting dishes … 23 years of a continuous issue and you start to lose that passion for food. I am most days reluctant to eat anything and more so when l have a flare up visit. A typical flare up could last me a few days and more aggressive ones can last ten days.  It is times like these when you wish you had shares in Toilet Paper because the bathroom is starting to feel like a second home!

I used to be a hardcore smoker, but for the last ten months l haven’t smoked nicotine, a 35 year habit  was kicked out of my life last year and l don’t miss it … but it used to naturally suppress my hunger.

So, for the next 4-7 days l will be on a very much reduced diet ……….. again.

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Beauty can be found anywhere if you look close enough, problem is a lot of people before today would walk passed a lot of things … now the smallest of things hold new meaning. I have observed more tree huggers [literally] in the last few weeks than ever before! I love trees always have, but do l hug them …….. no! I appreciate their life though.

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You don’t need to love trees …

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…. to love trees, you just need …

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… to appreciate trees to love trees!

Anyway, a smaller walk this morning – but hopefully you have enjoyed it as much as l did. All going well, this flare up will pass and l can get on with getting on again with life. Till then …

Thanks for reading.

Rory

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12 thoughts on “Morning Musings

  1. As I was reading this post Daughter is texting me from her room asking if I want anything, she’s ordering food. I made a “mexican casserole” for myself Tuesday & didnt eat it. Made myself eat it yesterday. Every day is a struggle with making myself eat. I have GERD, plus IBS. GI problems are SO awful. I had lactose intolerance in my teens, then after getting pregnant at 20 it went away… but I remember the pain. Plus that summer of blockage… very painful!
    Rest is definitely needed. Good luck with the declutter!🍀
    Hope your flare takes a walk to the cliffs and beyond😉💌💌

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