C19? Nothing …. till it’s personal to you….


Nothing …. till it’s personal to you …. to see a fresh morning anew!

Disclaimer – This post is a topical post on the subject of C19 which is my abbreviation for Covid-19.

Part 2 of 2

Suze informs me that my anger levels are rising – and that she is watching out for me … and l tell her that my anger levels are not so much rising but becoming more vexed. I am becoming frustrated with people and their blasé attituudes towards our current global topic. I have a form of old man eczema – why it is called old man is beyond me as l started to get it in my early forties – unless l am being naive and that is the age of an old man. It’s medical term is Asteatotic eczema or sometimes known as ‘crazy paving eczema’ on account of the ‘cracked appearance.

Whatever it is to be termed as it can be very frustrating and painful, as well as uncomfortable – it is caused by dry skin and is exacerbated by stress and dryness or not enough moisture in the skin.

Currently l am experiencing a major flare up, more so than normal and that has been motivated by stress … l also experience it more where we live anyway on account of all the chalk naturally in the water here as well as all the combat chemicals used by the water suppliers to soften the water. My skin fares better with softer water and here in Kent on the coast we don’t have that  … but if l lather myself in a body butter it calms the effects. Of course, l cannot reduce my levels of stress or rising anger or even vexation.

I tend to garden more to calm down but being on the spectrum my brain never stops thinking, and thinking and overthinking … and when l am out there trying to relax l start to hyperventilate with concern, stress and worry.

Hyperventilating then proves to be a problem because it reminds me that l was a serious smoker for 37 of my 57 years and that if l was to become infected beyond a basic dose of C19 – l would probably not survive on account of my lungs being blackened by 37 year’s worth of assorted nicotine build ups and now permanent scarring.

So, to avoid this, l don’t fuck about with my health and this lockdown … because it shouldn’t be viewed in a rocket science manner – it’s basic advice and not hard to misunderstand …


…. and yet we have people who obviously don’t get it.

I ask myself why is this so hard to understand? Then l think back to my own stress levels and annoyance at my eczema and how frustrating it is to me … to me the eczema is personal. People are not bothered by C19 because it is NOT yet personal to them. Maybe it is as Fandango commented yesterday ..

I think a lot of us are trying as best we can to “zen our way” through this thing and it’s new and scary to all of us.

…. l would agree with that yes, for many folks this is a way of coping with extraordinary events and yet still we have those who flaunt and throw caution to the wind. It is like the crazy drivers on the roads who would probably kill more innocents with their dangerous ways than end up dead themselves … selfishness. A case of always having to be right no matter at times at how wrong they are …. it is arrogance in whatever term you wish to coin it.

The other day Britchy penned a post  A Good Kind Of Viral – Shall We?!  Hyper focusing on and rightly so ….. the forgotten and unmentioned heroes – not just the front-line medical teams across the world but all those others that people are so used to seeing and simply ignoring or ‘forgetting’ about or deeming as unimportant …

Right now there are new hero’s in town. More incognito than special forces and just as brave.

We know them as shop workers. We know them as servers and truck drivers. We know them as doctors, nurses, police, fire service, EMS, janitors, electricians, plumbers.. we know them by the fact they’re going to work while the rest of us stay home.

Indeed only yesterday Beckie of  BeckiesMentalMess.wordpress.com commented on the part 1 of this post ….

The people on the frontlines deserve our utmost respect. So many of them are getting ill too. One doctor in NYC died a week and a half ago, he was only 36 years-old.

C19 is not discriminatory, it’s real and it’s hitting all home fronts.

But it’s true … people don’t care about front line people; they see these people as a service to their needs only. If l see service and supply people [not that l see many now] l always ask how they are and wish them well and THANK them for still doing what they are doing. When Suze goes on the weekly shop on a Saturday – she asks after all the staff she sees and wishes them well and thanks them.

These people that flout and flaunt the lockdown would be the first to seriously complain if there were no service people available, if front liners simply stopped being front line.


Nothing …. till it’s personal to you….

to see a fresh morning anew!


This is the truth isn’t it?  Until it’s personal to someone – until it is insulting someone directly – until it may affect their ability to see the next day with the same eyes C19 means nothing. Many people are simply showing their true colours to the world … they are showing that they don’t care about people and everything is ALL about them! It’s simply not personal to them … they have no respect for anything or anyone else …

This is personal ….

This is personal …

This is personal …

When would this become personal to you? When we lose someone close, when we ourselves die – when our friends are no more? We should all be very concerned about this … there are those who say, ‘Oh why is there all this fuss, why is everyone taking this so seriously?‘ If that as a question needs to be asked by a sensible human being then we are all doomed.

I am no scaremonger, l am a realist and l am concerned for my loved ones, for my friends, for me and for the planet –  because this pandemic has opened up Pandora’s Box … uncertain times are not just contained to one small region or location – but have swept across the globe at speed … infecting 200 plus countries, well over a million cases confirmed, 70,000 plus deaths [ in today’s world] we know about … there is no vaccine, there is no immunity, this is not a demographic specific contagion … this doesn’t care about who or what you are or how young or old you are – this is very personal to us all.

This is a very personal virus that should not be ignored and regarded with flippancy – because this thing will be with us forever more … C19 is a history changer, creator and breaker.



Fandango’s question

When we finally get through this COVID-19 pandemic at some point in the future, do you think the world is going to change from what is was like before anyone ever heard of coronavirus?

Or will things quickly return to “business as usual”?

The world has changed already …. the people have noticed this change … but where will we all be in the months and the years to come? Time will tell it always does … and yet in certain areas that doesn’t help … it doesn’t help economists, or forecasters or speculators or even politicians … people need to know and this pandemic isn’t providing us with answers.

The money makers will want business to return as quickly as possible to ‘make money, to rally the economy again, to get the world back on its feet … but that alone will take time – the planet has stopped rotating – it will need time to get back into the groove … but for many people – they have witnessed a lot – they have had to reflect on things – that they NEVER slowed down enough before to reflect on … for many this is personal. It’s personal when it makes you sick with worry about you, your friends, your family, your loved ones, your children … your way of life or takes your life.

This has made them stop and think about what they want, who they want to be after and that life is truly very short. Of course sadly the world isn’t just made up of people who care about others – it is made up of people who we are already seeing don’t care about others – they will survive this and bleat ..“See nothing to worry about TOLD YOU SO!!”

The world will try to return to ‘normal’, but the real world, the real people will know that change is in the winds and that the time to seriously change is now and whether this change of the people is now, or tomorrow or next year … it will change, because the real people will start that.

C19 is set to change everything we knew before it landed on our shores – whilst we battle its spores today – it is already planting more seeds for tomorrow – it is down to the real people to make those seeds grow into something positive.

When the cloud of doubt rises up, we will know that everything needs to change from business to communications, to productivity and travel, to waste managements and environmental concerns, to climate control and change and to the future! One of the biggest changes will be social trust and how we are as social people again.

The real people will know that small changes will not be enough and after today they will simply not be acceptable. But sadly the world isn’t just made up of real people … there is always the others. Time will tell … but times are changing ….. the others know this too!


‘We only have one shot at this life thang!’

How are you going to be as an individual?

Who will you be after C19 Lockdown?

Will your old life still be your new life or …. ?

Many people have answered the questions above very differently  … many have said they will remember the days of today, but think that the people in power will simply try and renew the days of yesterday. But many real people have also answered … that they will be changed by all of this … because this is just the start to our tomorrows.

Our tomorrows will now be completely different in and on ALL levels, areas and platforms of life and social society because of the seeds being sown by the spores of C19.

How will l be as an individual? This has made me realise even more that life is so short and precious and that l need to step up to the base more and let go of the conventionality ties and become the person l want to be and not be the person others want.

I need to be the real me. I am pretty much a real version of me … but l can be more. After the lockdown …. and no one knows when that will truly end … l am going to seriously follow my dreams …. but l am already walking down that path.

Will my old life be my new life? Yes and no, l will be a different person because of this, it has already changed me  .. it is a self-development lesson and curve combined but l have learned a lot of the world and its peoples because of this too … the true colours of others mmm. So yes, there will be much of my old life within me as my core … but l will be hard pressing that and creating a new life for me as well. Once more, time will tell and time will show.

We ALL need to learn from this … now whether we ALL will ……. well who knows?

Thanks for reading …. Rory

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17 thoughts on “C19? Nothing …. till it’s personal to you….

  1. I spoke to a lady yesterday – on Facebook. She’s in a group I’m an admin for. Her husband is a police officer and her daughter is an ICU nurse. Because she has two front line workers living with her she can’t visit her dad who is terminally ill with cancer. He’s on hospice care. She probably won’t see him one last time before he dies. She was devastated and I was trying to comfort her as best I could. All I could really do was listen. My heart was breaking. This isn’t a unique story. How horrifying is that – and yet these people endure and carry on. Shop workers see a couple of hundred customers every day. They play Russian roulette with every smile they give and they keep giving. If that isn’t incomparable gallantry I don’t know what is

    1. Precisely – l know what you mean. I was reading the news about how loved ones are just NOT allowed in with those dying of the virus .. they die alone and that is to the ones left behind very sad.

      People then don’t think about the ‘afterwards’ of these situations – the doctors and nurses and the care staff who are involved with this 24/7 who care for patients during the day and must return to their own loved ones …or not as many are afraid to.

      But what of the mental problems that follow this? What of PTSD for those involved in the death everyday – the helplessness. This is very personal to so many people on so many levels it is frighteningly sad and l become so angry with those who seemingly don’t care or don’t bother to see this problem in any one else’s eyes or shoes except their own.

      Those who shout out how miserable they are , and they are bored or they are restricted and oh woe is them, they want to go outside in the sun and no one thinks about their plight … oh well then we go back to wishing people were sterile and had been made so with spiky clubs!

      1. I’m having issues dwelling on stuff. There was a story about loading dead bodies in NYC with a forklift that I can’t stop thinking about. The idea of knowing someone I loved was treated like that just horrified me and honestly, I don’t know how you can get past that

        1. I know what you mean, l caught a story similar to that concerning the Italian dead – it’s aterrible situation and thats it exactly how are people supposed to move past that and yet .. sadly our medical teams are having to…. daily. It’s heartbreaking and exhausting even for those schooled to be clinically objective.

  2. Basically, some people don’t want to think about death and dying. If the virus hasn’t affected them or their loved ones, then many people will carry on pretty much as before. it’s human nature. They won’t take Covid-19 seriously unless it has affected their own lives in some way, or the lives of their loved ones.

    1. Hey Stevie, sadly you are right – death is still one of the biggest taboos going .. why, who knows? People will tell you all sorts and yet raise the subject of death and everyone is quiet… pretends it never happens.

      1. I find that older people will happily discuss death, diseases and dying, but anybody younger than 50 doesn’t want to know, because of course it will never happen to them! When you get past 50 you realise that a human lifespan is very short indeed in the grand scheme of things.

        1. Yes ain’t that the truth – mind you l was happily discussing death in my teens and beyond .. l think that if you experience death when young /er/ ish it changes your perspective but in many ways you only truly begin to appreciate the beauty of life as you get older. [Past 50 is about right] 🙂

        2. Yes, you realise how short life is at 50 and that probably more than half of your life is already over. You also realise that you haven’t achieved all you set out to do in your teens.

  3. I certainly HOPE this will be a wake-up call to the selfish pricks of the world, but I fear they are incapable.
    We should definitely be appreciative of all the folks still working in the shops, still delivering our stuff, still picking up our garbage, PD, FD, health care… we should’ve been thanking them before, but better late than never.

    You know I was feeling a lot of disturbance in the collective months before all this hit… maybe that’s part of why I’m not spinning now. I’m still amazed at my Zen. I’m waiting…waiting for my “thing”, whatever it is, to present itself.

    Sending hugs JB!💌💌

  4. “… but where will we all be in the months and the years to come?” The cynic in me fears that it may take a year, possibly two, but that we will eventually return to the same place we were before the virus. Greed will prevail and the rich will continue to get richer as the wealth gap widens. We will continue to pollute the air and the water as we rush toward the day when the planet can no longer support And sustain human life. Why do I say that? Well, because a century ago, humanity experienced “the war to end all wars.” But how many wars have there been since then? Because we forget the past and make the same mistakes over and over again. Because we are petty and selfish creatures who are driven by unenlightened self-interests and rather than trying to work together for the communal good, we fear those who don’t look like us, don’t talk like us, don’t pray like us, don’t think like us. And so we divide instead of unite. Humanity, one way or the other, is doomed and I’m glad that I’m old enough that I probably won’t be around to witness doomsday.

    Sorry for this rather lengthy and depressing comment, Rory, but I’m frustrated and angry and depressed. Feel free to delete this comment.

    1. Hey my friend, l am sorry to read that you are depressed at our current situation and l can understand that all too well … l am having to really uber motivate myself most days.

      I’ll not delete this comment because what you write l fear is the truth anyway … certain people will change, but unless the powers in control do as well … then nothing will change and when they do …it’ll be too late again … the next time something like this happens may be the last time it ever happens.

      I am a cynic like you, we hope there will be change …. but we know that may not happen in our lifetime.

  5. Couldn’t agree more sir. We have a new normal until some wizard actually comes up with a vaccine that works. We ALL need to be careful. I do worry that as a country we won’t learn the mistakes from our massive mess ups we’ve already made at the top. We try to take the lockdown off way too soon.

    1. Hey Gary – totally agree, we are just one big mistake at present and the Top have made a lot of mistakes that now require massive correction – mistakes not just from today, but years worth of mistakes of cutting front line budgets down, taking valuable finances away from much needed researches. poor communications, poor management the likst goes on – and the biggest sinful mistake is the governments saying they act for us and yet when we really need the country to pull through we find we are understaffed, underfinances and ill equipped to take care of things … complacency and for some reason those in power forgetting we are an island – we needed to be more self sufficient inside or outside of Europe and they forgot that.

      Now there is talk of lockdown being lifted in certain areas and l fail to comprehend the logics.

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