How Socially Impactive Are You Feeling?

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Welcome to  Season 2

How Socially Impactive Are You Feeling?

A few abstract observations.

The other day Suze suddenly said to me  … “You are so much a SET and yet in real life you’re not! You are more of a SET than me!”

“What on earth do you mean? What is a SET?” I asked.

“Social Electronic Tart!”

Well l had to stop dead at that , a socially electronic tart l thought, what is that supposed to mean?

In short, Suze referred to the fact that l was more socially active elctronically than she was.

Mm, this did make me think .. about online society.

***

The other day l was reading an online article about how extroverts are seriously suffering with all of this social distancing and that it’s having an impact on their socialisation skills?? The fact is that extroverts need to be around people in order to feel alive, whilst introverts are very comfortable with their own company and in fact Ashley and l were discussing this today on her own post Pandemic Life as a Pre-Existing Hermit in which Ashley discusses sociality and community.

I found her post to be quite thought provoking and in line with observations this week from me of myself and of others and their posts or comments.

Extroverts are struggling with no people contact and actual interaction and engagement. Whilst introverts are thoroughly enjoying no social networking and the freedom to be at home within their bubbles.

***

Last year l recall reading an article in a magazine concerning the topic of oversocialisation – or the practice of being ‘too reliant upon society demands’ to the point of it having a negative impact on an individual’s thinking and freedom of thought.

Only thinking the way society expects you to think and therefore selling your soul to society so as to be accepted as ‘normal defined social’ and losing your ability to think for yourself.

The role of socialising is to prepare individuals  so as to better fit into defined roles of society itself – this way they can successfully interact with fellow members of society and not be deemed as …. strange or as an extrovert might state – to not be seen as introverted!

I am neither introverted or extroverted although over the years l have played both parts – l personally prefer my own term of selectovert meaning l am in the deciding middle reflective upon my mood l select who l resonate with and who l don’t wish to.

***

Selectovert is not a label either it is a lifestyle choice … l like my own company and prefer in real life the social company of very few others comfortably – online l am more social because being social in real life is actually overrated and unnecessary in my eyes anyway. I don’t miss real life people contact what so ever … and l sometimes forget to be social even online …..but overall – l am thoroughly enjoying the quieter environment and NOT interacting with people.

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But today’s questions are an abstractive of all the above and they are as follows:

Whatever your ‘Vert Lifestyle Choice’ is … how easy or hard are you currently finding being social and the new sociality of society?

Are you finding not being in contact with people on a regular basis harder or easier than normal?

Are you finding your online virtual friendships harder or easier to sustain?

If you are usually more introverted as a personality how much harder/easier are you finding your virtual socialisation now that you do not have the freedom to freely interact with people outside?

How socially impactive do you believe you are today and how impactive do you feel?

Let me know your views below in the comments section – cheers Rory

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41 thoughts on “How Socially Impactive Are You Feeling?

  1. I think with your description, I am more of an introvert than I thought. I am okay being with my family and don’t miss socializing much. The fact that I am away from home, my husband and friends is much mitigated by the facility of them being a phone call away. So I am not suffering because of this isolation. Besides I am more busy than before. Homeschooling you know!

    1. I think there are a lot more different styles of verts than people might think Sadje … l know extroverts and introverts and as Grace said Ambiverts as well as selectoverts – because society as a whole isn’t just one format of social 🙂

      Are you enjoying your Homeschooling?

      1. You’re right, we all are different types of verts. I am enjoying the experience. And note we are getting into the rhythm of it.

          1. I am nano! It means granny I guess as it a shortened version. I am trying for middle ground. Not too strict nor too lenient.

  2. I prefer my own or select company, like you wrote. I can be a ‘social butterfly’ without too much trouble IF I choose it. I had a little chat with a lady in the waiting room of the pain doctor’s office on Tuesday.🤷🏼‍♀️ Being FORCED to be around a lot people can overwhelm all my senses, especially the Empath one.

    The only thing that’s really different about my online life is that I’m writing more. I’m still spamming up people’s comments as much as I always do.

    All this is kinda SSDD for me. That’s another reason I want to reach out to people and offer whatever I can. I’m good. Others aren’t so good☹ I want to help.

    SET… Ha! You tart, you!😂😂💌💌

    1. Oh l know, l found it rich coming from Suze l have to say. She is struggling with so very little quality social contact and she is hardly a social butterfly herself and l am just MEHUKOFF to society and enjoying the quiet.

      She had a zoom yoga party the other night l wasn’t allowed in to her space, but she thoroughly enjoyed it 🙂

  3. I feel like it’s been easier on me not being sociable regularly. I feel more creative than usual. It’s easier for me to connect with others virtually over Zoom or Teams. Just finished a virtual hackathon with folks all over the world. Which actually wore me out! I’ve been doing virtual lunches. I’m getting more reading done, and I’m not bored at all. I guess…I’m handling this self isolation quarantine better than I thought!

      1. I’m sure Suze is managing the best she can. I’ve been checking in on my extrovert friends and it seems like they’re bored to death. They find some solace in playing online video games with others. 😊

  4. I just got thinking recently about how introvert-friendly WP is. Not only is it easier than in-person communication, by the very nature of commenting each interaction is relatively brief and focused, requiring little social energy. Yet they occur regularly, which helps to maintain a sense of connection. I tend to find more extended online interactions outside of WP far more tiring, although that’s as much illness as introversion.

    Anyway, not really a response to your questions, but there you have it.

    1. Well actually Ashley – you have inadvertently answered the one question l didn’t actually ask but meant to … what you have just written is in fact what l was thinking of this afternoon during our conversation – except mine has a slight twist.

      You wrote this .. I tend to find more extended online interactions outside of WP far more tiring … okay and l wrote this .. and l sometimes forget to be social even online – and that is because l agree with you … but of late l have found extended online communication in WP quite tiring…. l have to at times ‘force’ myself to remind myself to be online social … which is why Suze’s comment of SET started me thinking of this question and your post coaxed me further 🙂

    1. Hey Grace l know …but l love selectovert because that’s more me 🙂

      There are so many terms for it, Outgoers, Anti and Socials …. l have always been selectively social, so being selectively ‘vert’ be this ambi as in balanced or not is more in line with my Asperger’s it’s reflective and not so much balanced.

      Before when l used to wear masks l would have said l was very much an ambivert then …. it was all pretend to fit into the others world to make them happy .. l stopped doing that in 2008 so 12 years ago, dropped the social pretences and started being me again.

  5. I am definitely social… I am social butterfly 🦋 type… surfacely… I like the company of people and laughing with people, helping people…

    But I also am introverted because I need my space – I don’t want anyone coming to close – in real life – laugh with me, enjoy me … but I do need my space and I don’t trust people.

    I don’t really mind the isolation overly much… I love the space and the peace and I didn’t have any moments after losing my dad and family etc, and my cancer – I didn’t get any time to recover or any downtime so – in a small way this is a blessing to me? I have moments with my children I wouldn’t normally have and I have moments to process the things I need to. I have clear moments to think what I want.

    I don’t like the isolation because I worry… am I gonna be ok? I don’t know that and I’m tired. So we see … I can worry but it’s outta my hands

    I also miss laughing with my people and taking care of people … when I took care of others it’s just a lot of peace? Cause I am focused on them, and I help them… and I feel ok when I know they ok.

    So I miss some things … but there are good things too, and I’m learning stuff in isolation so ya know not all bad.

    Just a moment in time – it will pass. I just worry with how it’s gonna be? I be strong always but ya know… scary… so whatever

    Life wouldn’t be worth it without challenges right? Every experience is a memory and a chance to learn so whatever

    Yes I do say whatever a lot lol ✌️ trying to stay positive

    Hope you doing ok over there ✌️

    1. Hey good morning Omatra – thank you for your lovely response … in truth it wasn’t that many ‘whatevers’ 🙂 [3]

      I will be asking a question today that l think you might find interesting too … entitled ‘We only have one shot at this life thang!’

  6. I hate staying home from work, but it has nothing to do with being social. I work in a small office and hardly talk to anyone during the workday ~ I just need a place to go with useful things to do. It gets me very down not to have that.

    As far as people, I really really miss my family. I’ve noticed a lot of people who are “okay” with this thing are NOT isolated completely alone like I am. I literally have no one here. No one. No husband, boyfriend, kids, nobody. It’s not the same at all as being cocooned with a family member. So, I have quit reading all the posts that tell me to be grateful because they piss me off.

    I miss my friends too and real game nights, though we chat a lot and play over Zoom. That’s not the big deal. The first two things are the big deal. But I’m trying to find productive stuff to do each day…

    1. Yeah, l can understand that Paula, more so than many might imagine, not for the reasons you list – different for me – l don’t miss my family – but l don’t get lonely l never have. Yes l have Suze but for many years l had no one except my dogs – l miss my dogs terribly – and l now worry for Suze and l would miss her terribly if something was to happen … but for a different level l understand you completely – l just don’t have the right words to voice it to make sense.

      As said don’t forget, l am just an email away 🙂

      1. It’s weird. Other than missing my kids, I don’t mind being alone at all. Most of the time, almost all of the time, I prefer it anyway. Yet… this forced isolation keeps reminding me that I tried to find someone after my divorce… all those dating sites ugh! And I failed! It reminds me of all that failure 🙁

        1. Well maybe, it’s not really failure Paula? I mean at your own concession you prefer your own company – have you given it thought that perhaps a relationship is not what you are looking for or what you might not want as opposed to perhaps companionship?

  7. Whoever was the first who came up with the term, the fact that people are calling it “social distancing” rather than “physical distancing” speaks to the widely held assumption that there is only one way to do socialising, and that is through face-to-face physical contact.

    1. Hey Dream – whilst you and l are more ‘meh’ about socialising whatever the term being used – we sit on the spectrum and therefore we have a very different outlook on the whole situation.

      I have to remind myself to be social, many naturally assume l am very much a virtual socialite – l am not. I keep my social community up and running because if l didn’t l would come across purely as a egotistical selfish swine who only wanted to write for himself ha ha – so l make myself social – if that makes for sense.

      But many people will use the term social distancing as opposed to physical distancing because they don’t think in the same language you and l think in, but they only think in terms of ‘social’ meaning social contact as again opposed to physical contact. Social contact is for many people the only way to socialise.

      What this question was aimed at was trying to see how the balance is on all vert lifestyles. Once a choice is extracted from our lives, our balances shift as do our habits – sometimes we don’t even see them move until the significance is profound due to the gap or distance apart. I have noticed an unbalancing for my Asperger’s – the tendency to be only me is the one l conflict with daily.

  8. Actually my life has not changed much at all. I don’t usually see my family more than a couple of times a month when school and college are in session.

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