Tooth Be Told and The Tooth is Out There!
My father was in the RAAF and the Metropolitan police and the security industry and because of this we lived in quite a few countries when l was a youngster growing up and so l had chance to visit a lot of dentists between the ages of [memory] about 7 – 15. Some of these dentists were brutal especially the RAAF dentists. I saw sadists in Malaysia and Australia and even in the UK.
I had teeth pulled in Australia and the UK that should never have been pulled in the first place. A dentist was struck off in England as he was drunk when he extracted the wrong teeth when l was 15. He was the type of dentist that put his knee into my chest and extracted them … oh aye l have had some real horrors with the dental industry!
My mother had Munchausen by proxy and so sadly l spent most of my tender years being taken into hospital after hospital in Australia and the UK due to her desire and wish to seek attention from anyone willing to award it.
Because of this combined with bad experiences in both the dentist and medical industry l grew up with a dreadful fear and overwhelming anxiety of being ill. So once l hit a certain age  l was no longer under her supervision and a few things happened 1] l left home and 2] l would have to be seriously ill, dying on the doorstep almost before l allowed myself to go to hospitals and or dental surgeries.
From 18 therefore l rarely attended the doctors unless as said l was physically ill. Now with the dental industry l can tell you the amount of times l actually visited under my own steam with dental problems between the years of 1981 – 2019 a total of 38 years and those visits were 1989 because of this …. Dental Express Nothing To Smile About!! 1989 and in 2008 and 2015…. l kid you not, they terrified me and some incidents leave lasting impressions upon your mind that will last until you are well into your ageing years.
I was a smoker for 36 years and not a social smoker, l was a very heavy smoker – l started with the pipe when l was 17, by 21 l was smoking cigars and by 25 l was smoking customs which l continued to smoke till l was 33 when l switched to hand rolling tobacco and l stayed as a baccy smoker of rollies till l was 50. I stopped then for just under two years but began again due to stress in August 2017 and didn’t finally quit until 9 months ago, this coming Friday. I haven’t smoked since – l have vaped and l am still trying to kick that habit.
For many years notably from 33 l started to suffer from intestinal problems and that is a problem l still suffer from today – however the main aggressor has now finally and officially been identified and that is the state of my mouth.
I was not always in a financially viable position to attend to my mouth when l was in pain over the years and so from the age of 31 l started the horrid practice of self dentistry …. you can have that for your imagination and nightmares because when you start extracting your own teeth – you are then in a serious world of pain and discomfort which l was. From 47 to today so ten years my mouth has been filled with pain and discomfort.
I wasn’t always on a good diet either, these days l am, but my diet only started to improve from 50 when l met Suze. Many years l simply wasn’t always able to afford food and so l did what many smokers do … l smoked harder. I would always put food on the table for my dogs and then subjected myself to scraps and leftovers.
I will not go into further details but my life has been hard, very hard – never mind the overwhelm and anxieties and stresses one endures not knowing why you are different to the rest of the world because of undiagnosed autism and Asperger’s – no not crying into my label – but not knowing makes a distinct difference to life in consideration to actually knowing.
I knew this year when l was in a better position financially which has come around only because of my father’s death and as such my inheritance that l would be able to finally get things sorted. I had asked him when he was alive to help, but he declined on the grounds that my sister’s boob job was more pressing …. but on the brighter side of life – perhaps he can smile now knowing that he IS now helping his son get his smile back, something which was lost at 45 and it’s not like you can include the image above taken when l was 14. The usual thing you see now something like these …
… where l very deliberately don’t smile because it’s not just my teeth that are the problem, but my jaw line has sunken and moved and my bite has been lost. I never been a huge toothy smiler and the one toothy grin smile that l do have, taken when l was 36, damned if l can find it but here’s one taken when l was 31.
But why are all these shots important? Well, because today l visited the dentist for the first time since 2015 – l had to bite the bullet and go private because my mouth is just too painful these days to not just smile but talk and await the NHS appointment in August. In the last three years, l have developed a slight lisp because my tongue is lacerated daily by my teeth and my jaw is misaligned to where it should be. I am a regular Frankenstein [in my eyes] to the rest of the world only missing the bolts in my neck!
I was terrified of visiting the dentist because in 2015, the dentist said he could buy a new bungalow on the potential work my mouth offered his dental practice and offered me a completed job for £60,000 which l didn’t have.
With everything that happened from 2015 with me becoming life threateningly ill between 2016 – 2018, followed then by a damaged rotor cuff, Suze becoming ill and Scrappy diagnosed with cancer – time always got in the way of recovery and repair.
However, today a dentist told me that by the end of this year, l would have my smile back and l nearly cried. I am not a vain man, but l miss smiling and not feeling ashamed of my mouth when l have, so over the years l have learned to master the ‘grimace’. That same 2015 dentist said my jaw would have to be broken in several places to repair my bite and that too terrified me and the stress floored me and made me iller.
BUT, today l had a very understanding dental team explain to me how my mouth was YES, very seriously damaged and ‘rare’ but not that rare in terms of non-repair and they explained to me that modern dental practice would be able to rebuild my mouth, recover my bite, replace my grimace with a smile and it was yes expensive but would not force me into bankruptcy . Whilst the dental surgery could buy themselves a second hand classic sports car of top quality and low mileage – it was affordable.
They offered me dentures which didn’t appeal, but for slightly more l could have implants. No broken jaw and only 6 extractions from my only 17 teeth, but they could rebuild my mouth from the remaining 11 and after one hour of an initial appointment, l knew that my life was going to greatly improve. I will have to wear nightly for the rest of my life a gum guard as l am a tooth grinder when l sleep and that has caused major damage, but that’s nothing really is it?
It’s going to be a hard slog and there is going to be pain, and l have to as from next week start to have what could be a total of thirty appointments – but l think l can say now … the tooth is out there! I have been very busy, and very stressed of late with all of this, never mind the discomfort of having a mouth look like it walked on a landmine … but as they say – ‘they have the technology to rebuild you!’
Anyway, thanks for reading, catch you soon.