Miaow! How Cool For Cat Are You?

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Miaow! How Cool For Cat Are You?

How important is it to you to be popular or well liked?

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Is it important to be well liked – is it important to be popular or cool, the bees knees the cat’s whiskers – is it?

Being popular has never really interested me – and yet at school l was – [when not being bullied by the bullies]  – well liked by my teachers and my peers – it was not something l sought out, just tended to fall into. I didn’t hang out with the cool kids, l was a loner for a lot of my schooling life – although l had nerdy friends – l tended to be the popular one of the geeks … why?

Well who knows?

If anything l liked to be the one behind the scenes and not in your face.

The term that sits best with me is probably ‘quietly popular’ and as l aged and became wiser and more experienced with watching people and their behaviours and acquiring the magical skill of fitting into my environment as best as l could – sometimes l was so good l was like an environmental chameleon and other times l was so bad that l was like a thorn in your bum! But despite all of this l managed to land on my feet and was still well liked even with all my quirky clumsiness.

At college women thought me cute and l fitted in with their circles and became popular with them and the fella’s liked me for my humour and l fitted in there.

What many consider popularity and being well liked l consider to be correctly skilled and attributed at ‘fitting in and being in the right place at the right time or having the right knowledge on something to acquire a reputation of efficiency’.

For most of my professional corporate life l worked in top management positions  and was known for ‘leadership and fairness’. I saw everyone as equal, l never judged anyone – l treated everyone the way l wanted to be treated – l laughed and joked and had a good time when fun was needed and was serious when that was called on and responsible.

My philosophy at work was to make sure that everyone was as happy as they could be in the work environment, to motivate and encourage enthusiastic positivity and l always had very productive and profitable staff who were very happy and in turn this made me popular and well liked with others as well as top management and YET, it was not something l ever truly sought out. By taking staff out to lunch and dinner and just ‘socialising’ with my team always to me was for one goal which was to ensure l had productivity and work efficiency from a target orientated team!

That has always been my philosophy – to try and motivate happiness from people – to have fun – happy people are more productive and l have applied that to everything l have always done – everything. This has made me if anything almost a reluctant recipient of popularity.

So l don’t seek it out with deliberation – yet my actions and behaviours can make it happen – for most of the time – people like me – not everyone of course and there are people over the years who have despised me, hated me and disliked me too!

Studies show to us that when you are well liked and popular with others you are at your most happiest, your health is greater, you work better, you are more of a performer and a producer. In relationships your mental health is much healthier – your confidences are much improved, your chances of ‘depression’ are lower ……………… or are they?

I think many people confuse popularity with being liked as there is a distinct difference between them. – if we took blogging as the example – are you popular or are you well liked? I don’t just mean ‘LIKED’, but l mean are you considered socially acceptable by your peers here? Is the popularity of receiving interaction, increased engagement and heavier traffic conducive to both your increased confidence and health? Do you feel happier and healthier  with your increased traffic flows?

Was l liked in my work and career or was l popular? Truth is – l was respected and considered fair and just and l was liked by a lot of people – but l wasn’t particularly popular outside of my team – just had a reputation for being productive and goal minded.

What is popularity and what is being liked? What are those definitions? Should these be taken into consideration as well? Whilst one is about being liked by people who wish to spend time with us personally and grow to trust us or love us, the other deals with more of the ‘influencer or influential’ power to it – the what can popularity achieve for me sort of thing – popular people tend to be busy and powerful and seen to be classed as important. But being popular has its downsides – the pressure of continually having to produce and perform, to always being ‘that person’, that direction, that importance can be damning to both personality and stress….

I see both styles of behaviour here in the Blogosphere, ‘wanting to be liked and wanting to be popular’ and l do wonder if it is always important? Is it important to be balanced with both, or to only being one or the other or not and nothing at all? Does being liked and or popular make you happy, is it …. truly that important?

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How important is it to you to be popular or well liked?

Let me know what you think below – cheers Rory

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21 thoughts on “Miaow! How Cool For Cat Are You?

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  1. There is the human tendency to be peering over the neighbors fence and checking out other blogs… wondering and questioning yourself. But the best advice I have been given is to be you and those who matter will matter to you. 🤗❤️🎶🦔

  2. I would view being liked as something that occurs between individuals, whereas being popular has more to do with status within a social group. I was never popular in school, but I had a small, very close-knit group of friends, which worked just fine for me.

    In terms of blogging it’s nice to have a core group of people I interact with regularly. The only influence I really care about having is spreading awareness and challenging stigma regarding mental illness, and as my traffic grows I feel like I’m able to spread that message more broadly.

    1. Hey Ashley, as you, both name and brand You grow, so too will you become an authority for your chosen genre and topic which would increase reputation and popularity for that knowledge – that in essence is what helps make for book sales also which is always a good thing 🙂

  3. I agree with Jeanne about being oneself and with what Ashleyleia wrote about popularity being a group thing.

    Of course I want to be liked, I’m human. I won’t go out of my way or change who I am to achieve it though.

    Popularity seems like it would take too much bending this way and that, trying to make everyone happy except yourself…no thanks.

    I was liked as a supervisor/manager at work. I treated people with respect and never asked them to do more than I was willing to do.🤷🏼‍♀️

    As for blogging, I enjoy the community, I try to show the realness of raising an autistic child, living with chronic pain and insomnia and basically document my life and the weird thoughts flitting through my headspace. It’s all me being me. If people like it, great. If they dont, that’s cool too. I do it for me.

  4. In school, I never was popular at all. I was either ignored or verbally bullied. Most of the time, I had no friends. Though I was extremely smart, I wasn’t “cute smart,” so teachers didn’t like me much. Later on, I had a few friends. Now, I’m in a large social nerd group where no one is that “popular” per se, but we tolerate each other because we know we’re all screwed up in various ways. An “island of misfit toys,” as one of us says.

  5. I was never popular, I had friends but was even left out at times such as holiday trips together. It was not easy but then is any ones childhood always?
    I began to become independent. I am not popular and now I know lots of people but friends, yes I have them yet I cut myself off from them, put it down to my mental illness.

    1. But also Tazzie – seclusion is not always exclusion, l know l lived this way many year – initially it followed my Asperger’s diagnosis but eventually it was just more self harmonising to live more frugally and rurally away from people 🙂

      1. actually you are right, I prefer to be on my own. (loved being with my partner when he wasalive,) got used to having the control of the remote. I also live rurally it is getting to populated where I live now. Too many cars up and down the road. I would love to live on a hill at the end of the road.

  6. hi rory loved your post and the sincerity in which you wrote it…. As for me i would also like to be popular and be well liked…Well I am in a certain way as I am most of the time cheerful and would like to see the best in others….much like in the song….I have a dream…..I believe in angels…something good in everything I see… on those lines…. have a great valentine’s day you and your loved ones…

    1. Hey Good morning to you Vanessa – here’s wishing you also a lovely Valentine’s Day too, a dear friend of mine wished me the same greeting earlier today – it doesn’t have to be about relationships, but just love itself the things we do and love – so here’s hoping you are having or will have or have had a truly lovely day 🙂

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