‘Funny Brain on a stick with a quirky dick!’ 

Well You Prompted Me!

I have been prompted by none other than …. Fandango! Twice!!

fowc

FOWC with Fandango — Creative

FFFC

body creative

Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge #48

How l have interpreted this is based on ‘Creation – Create –  Creativity and Creative’

Currently l feel like a ‘Brain on a stick with a dick!’ Yes it’s crude, and if l was to flesh it out slightly further okay l will add, l have a sense of humour and l am quirky – which then makes my opening gambit read as such … ‘Funny Brain on a stick with a quirky dick!’

It seems to me that the only two things which function with any kind of regularity are my brain and my dick. Admittedly the second ‘member’ of this exciting duo is the first to wake up in the morning sometimes long before the other ‘member’ does and my brain and l and not so much my dick and l often look upon Dick and think … really??

REALLY???

Why is it that you seem to be made from the same material that they make aircraft black boxes from? The brain has more elasticity to it than l actually do, although it is not as fast as Dick to wake up in the mornings, it still has time for some sharp shooting in the witty repertoire and if that isn’t enough,  Dick is always caught saluting anybody that is interested!

Meanwhile the ageing and aching body is screaming at the pair of them to shut the frick up and remain quiet till coffee is working its merry way towards the digestive system!

Don’t even start me on the joys of electric shaving first thing in the morning!

‘Funny Brain on a stick with a quirky dick!’

“I Feel Shitty!”

I feel shitty
Oh, so shitty
I feel shitty and gritty and not right,
And l feel bitty,
… and l am not feeling so bright!
Oh, it’s alarming,
… and somewhat disarming,
At just how alarming and concerning l feel,
And so shitty,

That l am astonished at how l feel!

See the dead face in the mirror that glares
Who can that dead zombie be?
Such a lined face
Such a lot of stress
Such a distinct style
Such a dead looking zombie!

I feel nothing,
Except age advancing,
Feel like rioting and rampaging on the destroy,
For l ‘m numbed,
… and robbed of my joy!

Have you seen my good trend Tequila?
The greatest drink for 10 o’clock!
Within seconds the day is a blur!!
Which is great, but l wish it was hemlock!

Don’t ignore all the above,
Nor think there is no pain,
But my body has been shoved,
By advancing age again!

Getting old can’t be beat,
I must be careful not to sneeze,
Food has become a treat,
My body hard to please!

Legs that need a chauffeur,
This isn’t about ego,
This is no longer,
… the body of long ago!

Witchcraft and a grimoire
…possibly combined
May provide a cure,
..won’t fix the saggy behind!

I feel shitty
Oh, so shitty
More like a dissolving banshee
Than a man happy
… and no longer filled with glee!

Ah AH ah AHHH!

I feel gaudy
I feel unfunny
I’m a zombie, unyummy and resigned
… and so shitty,
Ageing is such a swine!

Ah AH ah AHHH!

See the face in the mirror that glares
The gauntness that stares
Who can that zombie be?
Which? What? Where? Whom?

Such a lined face
Such a lot of stress,
Such a distinct style,
Such a dead looking zombie!

Such a dead looking zombie!

I feel nothing,
Except age advancing,
Feel like rioting and rampaging on the destroy,
For l ‘m numbed,
… and robbed of my joy!

© Rory Matier 2019

brain

A Guy Called Bloke Banner Well You Prompted Me JPEG

Well You Prompted Me Directory

Original Lyrics

I feel pretty
Oh, so pretty
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn’t me tonight

I feel charming
Oh, so charming
It’s alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I’m real

See the pretty girl in that mirror there
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face
Such a pretty dress
Such a pretty smile
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing
Feel like running and dancing for joy
For I’m loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

Have you met my good friend Maria
The craziest girl on the block?
You’ll know her the minute you see her
She’s the one who is in an advanced state of shock

She thinks she’s in love
She thinks she’s in Spain
She isn’t in love
She’s merely insane

It must be the heat
Or some rare disease
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it’s fleas

Keep away from her
Send for Chino!
This is not the
Maria we know!

Modest and pure
Polite and refined
Well-bred and mature
And out of her mind!

I feel pretty
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key
A committee
Should be organized to honor me

La la la la

I feel dizzy
I feel sunny
I feel fizzy and funny and fine
And so pretty
Miss America can just resign!

La la la la

See the pretty girl in that mirror there

What mirror where?

Who can that attractive girl be?

Which? What? Where? Whom?

Such a pretty face
Such a pretty dress
Such a pretty smile
Such a pretty me!

Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing
Feel like running and dancing for joy
For I’m loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

SourceLyricFind

Songwriters: Pat Vidas

I Feel Pretty lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc

8 thoughts on “‘Funny Brain on a stick with a quirky dick!’ 

  1. Yep, I feel pretty shitty most mornings myself. I am thankful that I was born with an “inny” instead of an “outy”😉 although there’s that whole mess between puberty and menopause that’s no fun.😱

    I love your new lyrics💃🏼🎶

    1. Yeah, l know all about the inny’s or as Suze the Grandmother explains it to the Gkids – ‘Madam La Foof!” – Suze keeps telling me to start the Menopause … as in the series l want to write about it from the man’s perspective aaah menopause!

      1. Go for it!!
        I’m sorry Suze (and you) had a rough time with it. I had the hot flashes (ANNOYING) but no other issues. I DO seem to get PMS-like irritability when my daughter has PMS but I think that’s just my Empath sense in overdrive.🤷🏼‍♀️

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