Poetry Directory

Sorry, I Need to let rip again!

Blast the richness! That was a fart!
But luckily in the last hour, it has drifted away,
My fear, is that someone else might hear,
… me again, so l’ll have to be careful!

Unfinished business needs to restart,
Before, l lose my day and create a display!
Upset tummy and drunk from last night’s beer,
…. Is creating sulphur build up potential!

Golden turkey and syruped sprouts and fries,
I have to keep my distance,
Why today, why, oh why?
Bad karma, maybe…
My gurgling stomach’s all bubbly!
Oooher, it’s rather severe,
It doesn’t surprise me!

Terrible illness, l farted and need to sit,
But it was a beaut, phew l need to shit,
Now, l know what a tool l’ve been,
I am still pissed somehow,
… no more drinking ever again!

Blast the richness! That was another fart!
But luckily it is finally drifting away,
My fear, is that someone else might hear,
… me again, so l’ll have to be careful!

Blast the richness! That was yet another fart!
But luckily  l think it has faded away,
My fear, is that someone might hear,
… me again, so l’ll have to be careful!

A crowded room, family with horrified eyes,
Me hiding away, l have paid the sad price,
Crikey, l thought the smells would be gone,
I have been such a moron!

A space to hover, a place to fart,
These are literally tearing my insides apart,
Sorry, l need to kind of, let rip again …

Blast the richness! Yes!! Another fart!
But luckily they are slowly going away,
My fear, is you’ll all start to heckle and cheer,
… me again, so l’ll have to be careful!

Curse the bleakness! Oh my twas a terrible fart!
They are, aren’t they? Going away?
Sorry all, it was last night’s special beer,
… I AM trying to be careful!

A space to hover, a place to fart,
These are literally tearing my bottom apart,
Next time, l’ll stick to a plain bun,
… and be a lot more careful!

“What? Sorry mum, but shit happens … literally, yes l’ll be more careful next year, sheesh! It’s painful for me too l’ll have you know!!”

© Rory Matier 2019