That was my mantra, my chant yesterday as Suze sped to her midday appointment in Deal with the nutritionist to hopefully find out her results from her …”’stool”’ test! But of course where we live in Kent, so close to Deal or better known as – and not just also known as, ‘the retirement centre of Kent! Every day is a Sunday here at times! EVERY DAY!! More so in winter well, pretty much the same on slow days in Summer, thank goodness for the speedier tourists who don’t dilly dally and they force the little elderly cars along from 20 mph in a 50 to a decent speed of 45 mph! But in winter, well they are back to their ditherings!
Indicating they are turning left or right when going around a corner!! Yeah, yeah, l know you know what l mean!!
“FFS, bloody come on, do l need to issue you an invitation or something?” Suze yelled … l do love it when she talks dirty! Followed closely by utterances of “Babes, we need to get a car parking spot … PMA is needed!”
So my chantra started “PMA!! Positive Mental Attitude we will find a car parking space, followed by a new one WCDT!” However PMA-WCDT is actually very difficult to say repetitively l assure you, it’s a bit like saying Red lorry, Yellow Lorry, Red Lorry, Yellow Lorry really fast without it sounding like, red lolly, yellow lolly, red lolly, yellow lolly, but pma-wcdt, or rather pma-wct, wdt, wtc, damn, pma, wtcd bugger!!”
“WE can do this, PM bloody A!” I yell as we speed around the corner [no indicator on] “Dwtc map! Soderations! MPA, dayum! OMG look, quick babes, quick, KWIK!!” I screamed in orgasmic delight as l saw the empty parking bay!!”
Finally when parked up, and we did the usual Ollie and Hardy dance we do like childish six year olds, speed walking and deliberately bumping into each other to the bemusement of other fifty years olds, eye rolls from anyone younger and the bah hambuggery [mm, that may not be right!] of the slowly does it around the corner indicator on elderly of Deal!
Suze got the church on time and l strolled down the street to go and pick up my new shinies!! Yes folks, l now have a fantastic pair of long distance glasses and they are sweet, sweet as a finely tuned nut! They fit perfectly on my head and l can see again. It wasn’t that l couldn’t see before… well not entirely true .. blind as a bat with no glasses on, but with the old glasses on only as blind as a bat with no sonar!!
“But these are sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!”
So new glasses, a little Christmas shopping for Suze, a few books about ‘stuff’, l have books on stuff, l love books on stuff, and secondhand books on stuff even better, old stuff books even better than good books on secondhand stuff, or new books on secondhand stuff! But charity books on secondhand stuff and books always way better!!
Now l have two pairs of sweeeeeeeeeeeet glasses at one for long distance and one short reading distance or close screen work, and the old glasses for gardening which worked a treat today out in the ….yep, the garden!
But on the way back, Suze and l did the naughty whilst parked up in front of everyone who passed the car ..oh yes, yes, yes, yes!! We had fish and chips, naughty but nice!!”
Next time l’ll tell you all about the In-betweeny bras – the Fillets!!