The Smell Of … The Awakening!


Apocalypse Now …

Had a line that lived with me,
Since first hearing it like so many others,
From films l have seen and used appropriately,
As the time suited my offbeat humours,


‘I love the smell of napalm in the morning’,


Is quite fitting, seeing as l now live on a stables,
And with the approach of spring and summer dawning,
There will be plenty of the horse truffles,
Abound in the green, green pastures of the Shires,
That will need to be gathered and thrown,


Similarly …
… I too will be cleaning out my own memory quagmire,

In the form of items that l have also outgrown,


Over the years since the search began for the new ‘Me’,
Which has taken me down a path or two,
On the long highway of finding my contented identity,
And offloading the befores in which my mind has been keen to accrue!


Tis not that l wish to discard memories of my past,


For this would indeed be a foolish manoeuvre,
More of a cleansing of those that have harassed,
And tormented my soul and clogged my pipes, much like manure,


By pulling down the cobwebs that have cluttered my windows,

This allows me to see clearly and deeply within,

… my life that l have lived to date and not just the echoes,


And once again recognising the beauty and sighing in appreciation …


Twas a distressing crisis that befouled me,
And made me think not once but twice,
Concerned with who l was and what was my true identity,
Having lived till that point and at what price?


And so l stripped back everything that l thought l was,
Starting afresh and looking very deeply within indeed,
Asking whether l was happy and content or were there flaws?

The answers that lay before me were not as l fancied,


And now l live a life that most would consider humble,
Turned my back on society and all that it apparently offers,
Cherishing frugality and beautiful bleak surroundings’ which are blissful?
Just dogs, and horses and pastures of the Shires’ acres,



Even now am l oft surprised when l awake with the yearning,
And always pleased that l have finally found the content me,
Which is to look forwards to the smell of manure in the morning,
Happy at long last with my truly relaxed identity.

© Rory Matier 2011

14 thoughts on “The Smell Of … The Awakening!

  1. Look forward to learning more about your “lives” in both poetic and prose form. It’s wonderful to read about someone who follows their own path.

  2. You did a surgical cleanup of your life to discover the personality hidden under all the trappings. That was a very brave thing to do.

    1. yes it was, l do agree. It helped me a lot more than l ever thought it would. But we all experience these awakenings Sadje. Even today as in the period l am now living in, with my Father stories and diaries and words, it’s just another form of awakening, cleansing the spirit for the next phase 🙂

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