It’s About Time! – No More Twisted Knickers
My thanks to Angie for her allowing me to use
“No More Twisted Knickers”
Mentioned in this post are the following amazing bloggers who l also call friends and their blogs …
I read an interesting post this week from a friend of mine Mindfulness Monday ☮️ Make a Change which in turn inspired this post l have been meaning to pen for a few weeks however, l have been battling TIME problems! It’s always TIME & BALANCE!
In Dear Blog – 11.25 – 25/08/19 l wrote “l still would love for someone to write the perfect How To Balance Your Reading Post with regards blogging!” Ursula answered this very well with …
I could offer up some advice about this – “l still would love for someone to write the perfect How To Balance Your Reading Post with regards blogging!” – since I’ve been in the blogosphere for a while-ish time, have been through some of the phases and stages which all newbies go through to become no longer newbies, have made mistakes and whatnot, and have experimented a lot, but I blog differently from you.
You’re very focused on things which I don’t focus on with regards to blogging. I’ve learned that some of those… best not to focus your focus on them.
You’re trying to please too many people (the ones you call your readership). In the blogosphere that’ll wear you out… much faster than that sort of thing wears you out in RL.
…. and probably didn’t realise at the time what her response would trigger within me … which was a very deep set of questions aimed at my inner core and stabbed at this terms called ‘People Pleasing’ which gets a lot of terribly bad press. It took me some time to actually answer Ursula’s comment that day ….
“You have an ability Ursula with your written words to make one stop dead in their tracks and think.
Your comment here is no different.
I had a longer answer here, it wasn’t rude, but l have edited it, because l am thinking about what you have written.
To a degree you are correct and yet not 100% but l can see how you would write what you have. But you have made me think in more ways than one.
For that l thank you, not in so far as the ‘people pleaser side’ but the fact that you made me think on something l am working on.”
People Pleaser or Pleasing People is there a difference?
Well considering that comment exchange was made nearly six weeks ago … should tell the reader exactly how long some comments do indeed stay with me. I don’t tend to simply dismiss much of what people say. It took me a bit of time to answer Ursula at first because it ‘shocked me’, yeah it did. ‘People Pleaser .. Me? Am l? Really?
Am l, am l a people pleaser?
No, l am not … not the way many might interpret it – but l do try and please me and that is really hard, in fact it is MUCH harder to please me than it is for me to please you, my readers. I struggle to please me, l struggle with balance and l struggle to balance the pleasing of me and finding equilibrium and inner harmony.
People pleasing really does get such a bad rap doesn’t it? Well not all ‘people pleasing’ is bad – it is only really bad if it is detrimental to your mental wellbeing and if you are allowing yourself to be manipulated by others.
Having spent most of my former career years involved in the ‘service industry’ – it can make understanding the positive elements of people pleasing very awkward as a concept. Retail, catering, the escort industry especially is and are all about pleasing people – so are some people more prone to people pleasing roles than others? In fact is people pleasuring – people pleasing? When l ran the exotics business my whole role next to husbandry and political conservation of species was in fact involved with pleasing people and to a degree being a people pleaser for profit.
There must be a difference surely, not all can be bad? But then l thought well okay, what about bloggers writing for audiences and readerships? Are they NOT writing to please others as well as themselves? Is that too not a form of people pleasing, or am l looking at this wrong? So then l looked at Ursula’s comment again …
You’re trying to please too many people (the ones you call your readership).
So Ursula wasn’t calling me a people pleaser per se … ish. She meant in reference to my ‘readership’. That l was trying to please too much/many of my readership at once … ish … mm. That made me think even further .. are we NOT supposed to please our readerships to a certain degree? Why should they they read us, follow us or even interact with us and our blogs ….. Well they do so by choice of course, but because we also encourage and motivate them to view our writing and readings…. no?
The onus of their engagement falls on them. But if we as hosts are wanting to be engaged and interacted with then we too have a responsibility to be communicable to our community which in turn must have an element of ‘people pleasing’ to it. As bloggers we not only write for ourselves but do we not also write for our readership? Otherwise if we purely wrote only for ourselves do we not fall into the pit of becoming too self niche?
Ursula’s comment made me think very hard indeed on a number of different topics, because l was already thinking hard on a number of different topics when l wrote the Dear Blog episode for that day and one of the pressing elements was about ‘balance’. Balance in blogging is the key to survival – Ursula had painted that out earlier in the comment in a round about way …
… since I’ve been in the blogosphere for a while-ish time, have been through some of the phases and stages which all newbies go through to become no longer newbies, have made mistakes and whatnot, and have experimented a lot …
…………. it’s all about balance!
…………… it’s all about time!
……………Everything is about Time and Balance!
And it’s all about people!
We will come back to ‘people pleasing ‘ another time but for Part 1 l thank Ursula for making me deep think, something she is very good at, knowingly or unknowingly she is very good at that. If you are not yet aware of both Ursula and or An Upturned Soul l really do suggest you check her out. Sometimes her writing is so deep and profound l am left treading water till l can find my legs again, but she is unique and a true wonder for the reader.
Her comments here will become more apparent in Part 2.
Post written to this awesomeness!