Flirty Dating Guide

As is atypically just my rather unfortunate luck,
Find myself again out of love, what a schmuck!
Whilst l can live in comfort again as a bachelor,
It’s always nice to know that l can still explore,
Possibilities of future female sultry inclinations,
Which if handled correctly, might mean ‘relations’

Don’t misunderstand me I’m not afraid of being alone,
But modern dating is an aggressive combat zone!
Some have said that it’s more of a dangerous sport!
In fact cocaine’s just as addictive, but is easier to snort!
What women want, and what we want, are two separate issues,
But with my uncanny knack of going wrong, l must review!

Confusing elements with today’s modern woman,
Implies for success one must have a definite game plan!
So sitting back and configuring my tactics,
Concluded that l needed something quite climatic!
Thus was born the ‘FDG’ – Flirty Dating Guide,
Strategies and golden tips, which could be applied!

Flirting is such innocent but highly delightful fun!
Loaded with lurid innuendos, it’s great for the dry run!
One has to go back through past experiences,
Remembering what works, and quite simply what doesn’t!
For if this personal guide is to work, then it’s got to be right,
Flirtatious remarks need to inflict, entice and excite!

Like fishing, it is said to be a finely subtle art,
Secret is to get right, straight from the start!
For it’s the beginning of the sexual ritual,
Albeit to some entrepreneurs it’s habitual,
I am hardly the novice to its’ finer intimacies,
Alas, that does not mean it is without complexities!

One of the oldest techniques in this myriad,
And of course is the beginning of the first period,
Is extended eye contact, sometimes simply enough,
To turn a damsel from innocent into hot stuff!
Holding the gaze, longer than a mere while,
Then breaking away with the briefest of smiles,

Has established the initial contact of interest
Game on, for now intentions have been addressed,
Act quickly for time is of the utmost essence,
Move in, and introduce your presence,
Introductions need to be sweet but not banal,
Or there is a good chance you will lose this doll!

Whilst conversing, endeavour to touch, even if fleeting,
For this will encourage arousal from the meeting,
Look for clearly defined language also a must,
Hair being flipped, stroked or playfully twisted,
You also must show off your best assets,
Showing your openness and reducing your threat,

How are they holding themselves, also an indicator,
Leaning towards you, openly suggestive, a motivator!
Conversations should be light, unless they want more,
Don’t hold back, impart your tales and humour,
If they are interested, they will query and laugh,
Remember to smile, hold eye contact, be natural,

Flirting is a stimulating and creative ability,
Displaying our gift of speaking with agility,
Also to be seen as a signalling mechanism,
Not forgetting its renowned abstractionism
We yearn to exhibit ourselves, upon others
From babes we flirted with our mothers!

So it’s not an unnatural activity to pursue,
Especially if it brings you closer to some nookie too
Let’s not forget, that sure we can have romance,
But even that starts somewhere, usually with chance,
So l am thinking my guide, will be a brilliant hit,
As long as those that l am chatting up are well into it!

© Rory Matier 2012


14 thoughts on “FDG!

  1. A truly well-written poem which flowed well. I enjoyed it! And ‘yes’ I did read it beginning to end 🙂 and chuckled when I viewed the picture of your dating guide.

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