Dee Lish Shush! 1982
Have you noticed how funny life can be at times?
Let’s take me and my life in 1982 … l was 19, l was working full time as a young catering manager and working a contract of 60 hours a week minimum and earning at the time £4900 a year. Every month l paid my mother half of my take home pay for living at my parents house and this was to teach me ‘responsibility’.
In 1982, it wasn’t that l was specifically a geek, l was very confident in my job, enthusiastic and passionate about my career as an Assistant Catering Manager …. but l was quietly shy when it came to the opposite sex. l was on the cusp really of being shy and being confident with them. I was still a virgin when l was 19 – l would not lose it as they say for a couple of years. I had had my first sexual encounter that year – and as you may have read in The First Time Tickle 1982 that didn’t go as planned – it was not a sexual ‘all the way encounter’ it was a blunder! But hey we all live and learn!
So l was not that well schooled in so far as many things concerning sex … girls, sex with girls and so on. I hadn’t been on many dates and it was NOT that l hadn’t been on dates l had been on a few. But looking back to all those years ago, l was a little old fashioned, and worked on the romantic conventional platform of ‘dating’. My parents at the time had a very distinct path for me … meet girl, fall in love, marry girl, have sex, have children, buy house and live happily ever after……. which is all well and good, but NO one asked me what l thought of that configuration!
I was thinking l am only 19 going on 20, what do l want to screw my life up for this early and get married??
Mine for 1982, was work, work, work, work, work, career, career, career, earn money, earn money, ear … what? Girls, yeah what of them? I knew they were out there, of course l did … but l was not really hyperfocused on that. My friends were always trying to get me on double dates and occasionally l agreed, but l struggled as l didn’t really have anyone to take on a double date with me, and my college friends were all busy or courting or … sheesh married!
It wasn’t that l didn’t have girls ask me out, apparently l was always being chatted up according to my ‘girl friends’ or the ladies who worked with me. They would tell me it wasn’t just girls of my own age chatting me up, but women double my age and older chatting me up and l was completely and utterly oblivious to their charms? In the 80’s if you were a fella being chatted up and showing no interest then it was obvious that you leaned the other way as far as people were concerned. There was never any question that you might just be girl shy or genuinely girl clumsy!
For the two years l was manager to that building, l would have to be honest and say that for a good 75% of my time there – most of the people l worked with and managed male and female considered me to be a quiet homosexual or an even quieter bisexual. I had heard the rumours and figured what was the point to dismissing them? Did it really make the slightest difference to me?
Both sexes saw me as some kind of challenge and yet all l was really bothered about, was being promoted. Dating was just one big mess and NOT one of my strongest suits. I was great with the clients and customers of the building, a very confident man, but put me in a room with girls and women and l came unstuck a little and became this strange clinical indifferent persona who just talked to them all as if they were bricks!
I couldn’t master females, they were just too far flung a project. It mattered not what books l read, magazine articles or films l watched, l simply couldn’t understand women!
The first time tickle ironically happened as a result of this blind date in a round about way of sorts …. story of my early life way back a ways! That simple date would be the start of lust in my life. The start to a long journey into all sorts of things including fetish … who would have thought that one simple innocent blind date in 1982 for a 19 year old shy virgin … would lead to an actual date in 1984 with the same person who would then literally introduce me to a world of debauchery??
Burke was a chef where l worked and a few years older than l was [23/24], he was a really funny guy and an absolutely superb chef. But also Burke was addicted to sex. Why am l telling you this? Well because Burke was working in the right place to feed this obsession of his …. where l worked in 1982 was the Centre Halls in Woking. It was a huge council building [local authority], that was made up of catering venues, banqueting halls and function rooms, kitchens, cinema , bars and was a huge venue at the time.
We were a busy busy venue, with nightclub functions, dinner dances, banquets, luncheons, cinema and productions – in the 80’s to be a catering manager at the Woking Centre Halls was for the right person, a really illustrious position – according to ……… Burke! To me, well l was career orientated and as far as l was concerned this was my stepping stone to greater positions.
Burke loved women, all women, and he was very persuasive with them, and the women loved him back. He was used to getting his own way – all the time, so when he didn’t get his way – a challenge was set! He regarded women as ‘ a pulse’ .. that’s all l am going to say on the subject!
I was fascinated by him, l mean good grief, he was sexuality on legs! I had to remind myself when working in the kitchens to not bend down in front of him for too long in case he thought l was fair game too! He used to joke about it as well, “Don’t linger too long in that position matey!”
Where l worked had a cinema inside the building when we didn’t have a film we had a production company holding a show, so we always had people in the building during these times … actresses and actors and stage staff and groupies – in fact there were always a lot of people involved with these productions. Burke was always surrounded by ‘pulses!!’
However, Burke had come across a bit of a hiccup. Despite his charms, there was a girl he wanted to take out and she kept on saying no to him. She worked as an office administrator for the council rather than for our own administrations in catering. Burke, once sometimes twice a week would ask this girl out and every time he did, she would simply look at him and smile and say no.
But Burke was persistent if anything, and he never gave up . One day she turned to him and basically said “Yes, but only if l can bring a chaperone with me on our date?” Burke, not willing to be outdone agreed at that time, unknowing who the chaperone was to be. His date further added, that he had to bring a date with him for her ‘friend’, that was not one of his usual friends!
“Rory, l really need your help?” Burke asked of me later that night.
“Ok, what?” I answered. Burke then explained the situation to me in all the detail he had. I wasn’t keen, dating was a real messy situation for me anyway and not one of my strongest features, so to suddenly find myself on a blind date was simply terrifying! “So, you know nothing about this friend of your dates?”
“No mate, l’ll find out tomorrow but only if you say yes. Come on, it’ll be a laugh, you need this it’ll help with your confidence, and who knows she might be a bit of alright!”
“Yeah okay, sure … it might be fun eh?” I answered not with 100% conviction, but l figured – Burke was right, l needed to try and explore new avenues. “You’re right – what’s the worst that can happen?”
Burke answered typically for him .. “You get laid, sounds like a fair deal to me, and it’ll prove to all the others that you’re available, you know!?”
The next day Burke, told his date to be that his mate who just happened to be the assistant catering manager of the building was there to be the date for her chaperone and who was she, so that he could tell me?
“My mother!” Was all she said.
When Burke told me this, l was aghast! “Her Mother!? How old is this girl you say, 22? I am 19, your date is older than me, so her mother has to be ancient! Oh come on, tell me this is just one big joke?”
But it wasn’t. Burke found out that Nancy’s [his date] mother was 47 recently divorced, and just wanted a night out to relax ….. so Nancy when agreeing to Burke, figured why not? She didn’t even bat an eye when Burke told her it would be me, all she said was ‘My mother will like Rory … a lot!”
It was set up for the weekend that was approaching, dinner and a movie ….. oh no, l was terrified! But l promised Burke l would go!
That’s all l knew about Nancy’s mother ……….
Oh well, live and let live!