Brutally Honest!!



Brutally Honest!!


… now l have to concede to being confused!
And if brutally honest, not amused,
Truth be known, l am slightly baffled!
How in today’s’ modern society this still goes ahead ungrappled?
It’s simply not on, it really bloody is not!
Enough is enough, time for answers to be got!

I want to know how this crap can happen?
And it’s not the first time, it repeats time and time again!
I count them in, but not back out!
Where are my missing socks? What’s all this about?
Washing machines are supposed to be intelligent!
Not metal devils full of electrical sin and hell bent …
… on destroying and kidnapping innocents fabrics!
Perhaps there is some voodoo present, Magick?
I have been jinxed for some years, this l cannot deny!
But for the love of God! Why my socks, why, why, WHY?
Damn you, damn you to hell, it really is not funny!
By swallowing my goods, you’re making me lose money!!

You are a machine, what do you want with them?
Deceive me you do irrelevant the time of day, am or pm!
Oh this is just plain silly, l think l might be going mad!
That l can be turned over by a lump of metal, been had!!
Wait a minute now, let me count, let me see,
Twenty two went in, Oh my God, l have twenty three!

Oh you rotten bloody sod! Now you are giving them back!
And look at it, it’s bedraggled, it’s been subject to attack!
What do you do with them, where do they go!
Ye Gods you brute, it has no toe!
Eeeeek give me strength, nor has it a heel in!
You are a terrorist, have you no feeling?

I give up, you are obviously seriously deranged!
From this point on, l will make my own arrangement!
I will hand wash them all, least l know they will be safe!
Instead of going through your cloth abuse and chafe!
Being brutally honest, I will feel more secure,
And my socks will be glad, not to have to put up with more of your manure!!!

© Rory Matier 2011


24 thoughts on “Brutally Honest!!

  1. Great tone to set for the weekend. Thanks for the smiles you brought. 😂 And BTW, where do they go????😜

      1. We will never know! But my daughter has come up with a solution. She knots the pair together before putting it in the wash. 😃

  2. If you ever find your stray socks pkease tell me if mine are there too lol. I wear odd ones all the time. It’s quite fun

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