Dear Blog – 20.19 – 11/09/19

If I Thought!!

If l thought that Suze prior to being admitted to hospital two weeks ago thereabouts was being awkward as a patient, l was completely wrong.

Suze as you know, went into hospital on the 27th August and came out on the 6th September , last Friday in fact. She had been ill upon returning to England  [17th July] from two weeks in Australia.

However from the 17th July, and Suze returning to England from Australia, she had been ill. She was too ill to return to work straight away after returning, but then went back to work for a while until she was sent home for being too ill …. there is simply never telling some people, they basically refuse to believe you when you say they are ill!

Suze still didn’t believe she needed to be in hospital for her illness despite being seriously unwell even on Tuesday 27th August when we went to see the specialist and she was absolutely shocked to the core to be told she was being admitted to hospital – because she was a very ill woman!

Suze went into hospital that Tuesday and stayed there till last Friday, she went through a serious time in hospital and from last Wednesday in hospital started complaining about not needing to be using up a hospital bed and wanting to be released.   Thankfully she stayed in till she was officially discharged. Still wobbly and relatively unwell, the hospital discharged her on the premise of, she was in ‘good condition’.

So we had the weekend and she,  l thought finally could see and appreciate how unwell she had been and was. The hospital signed her off for two weeks minimum…… but by Wednesday of this week, l have had to be quite firm with Suze and tell her that she simply cannot be overdoing certain things! It was almost rebelliousness to the hilt from her, and then this morning we had ‘words’ …. making it worse is that Scrappy is now in full manipulative mode again with Suze – K9 dementia has a lot to answer for  …

FUCK is all l can really say, l have a stubborn Suze and a manipulative Scrappy!! Stress was back in full swing  today … l can cope with one, but not both!

Today  as said l had to have words with Suze and explain the truths to thinking she ‘had not been unwell!’ The problem is, she is getting bored. Not just bored, but catatrosphically bored … and that is just 100% stress at this present time.

I have tried to encourage and motivate her to hobbies, not a great deal of success, tried the blogging angle – that’s never going to happen. We had words this morning, about me “not doing stuff!??”

“You only have to ask me Suze?” I said to her “I don’t see everything that you do and l don’t always think like you do, but l have said if there are things you want and need done to ask me?”

Yes she said, yes you have said that, l forgot and keep forgetting. But her OCD was running wild and that why yes, l was doing things, l was not doing them her OCD way!!

I do a lot around the house,  but l have different time zones  to Suze wanting it done, or l don’t do it the way she wants it done. My philosophy is ‘baby steps  and bite size jobs’ for Suze, and her vision doesn’t include me actually being able to do anything! She wants to do everything her way only!

It was becoming seriously detrimental today to our mental health, and it only changed this afternoon, when she had a call with her works  Occupational Therapist who in no uncertain terms, explained to Suze just how very ill she had been! That Suze would have to take a lot of rest and if she needed reminding of how ill she was to look at her discharge sheet and just look at all the problems she had. Furthermore she told Suze she can forget about coming back to work in 2 weeks try thinking November!!

Once again Suze is shocked!

We have had words again, this time calmer and again discussed her  new ‘baby step, bite size  daily schedule!’ …. It’s going to be a long hard time l feel. At least l managed to encourage Suze to consider taking up some hobbies …no, not new hobbies, as Suze doesn’t do hobbies at all ….and she has looked at a course for pottery in January!

Combined with Scrappy’s cognitive impairment which is just gradually getting worse and starting earlier and earlier each day it just reminds me that this household doesn’t just have rain but bloody great showering squalls!

Dear Blog ……

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20 thoughts on “Dear Blog – 20.19 – 11/09/19

  1. You are a good man.keep it up.i can only imagine the stress u must be in ..but not to forget even suze is in a lot of stress and recovering from illness.u will have to be more patient.m happy suze has u understood about her health. Your problems will ease out a bit with this.Scrappy is a sweetheart.All the best dear.Praying for ur family’s happiness.

  2. There is just a lot of tension everywhere. The full moon is coming, today is a sad anniversary for the US and others. It feels like the collective/universal conciousness is need of soothing.

    Or maybe I’m full of it💩

    Are all my comments going to your spam or just some of them?

  3. Get Suze to start writing stories of her life and her kids etc for her family. She’s family oriented so that might work and that kind of history and knowledge of parents gland grandparents is beyond price 😊

    1. I wish it was that easy Britchy, l have been trying to encourage Suze to write about all sorts for three years. I am now firmly of the belief that Suze will never be inspired to write about these things – some people are simply not writers.

      1. Would she maybe do voice recordings? I get it about ‘writers’ – ‘im indoors is the same. He’s written technical papers etc but not for fun.
        Suze will find her groove.

  4. Hay Rory,
    Sorry to hear it’s been a ruff day for you my friend 😞, when I was younger I would go full tilt at it regardless if I was sick or injured and pay for it later, so I understand what your going throw with Suze, hopefully she’ll came down and things will get easier for you. 🌹


  5. Definitely not an easy time but hang on in there, you are the hope for both of them!
    I do prefer doing the things in our house as I want and if my husband wants to help or do them himself, I feel are not the way I want so better no, so I can completely understand Suze…but is also true that she was very ill so she should just try her best to rest…reading maybe helps? it can take quite a lot of time when you’re hooked by a good book 🙂

    1. Oh hey Ribana, l completely get it – Suze and l both have very different ways of getting things done – ha ha – there is my way The Aspie way and Suze’s way the OCD way – but Suze has never had hobbies not even as a little girl – she has as a mother only dedicated time to her family – but now that they are growing up and getting older, she doesn’t know what to do with her time.

  6. I hope Suze feels better soon.
    In her place I would read all the books I have ever wanted to and warch lots of movies and seasons.
    You should try to enjoy every experience that life throws at you.
    Its going to happen anyway
    So why not enjoy it?

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