Do You Misunderstand Me?
Where misunderstanding serves others as an advantage, one is helpless to make oneself understood.
I am always being misunderstood and all the way through my years, people have jumped to the wrong conclusions or passed judgement due to misunderstanding who l am, what l have said or say, it seems to be a default trait of my personality. I used to think that perhaps it was simply the way l voiced things or acted, and then when l received my diagnosis of Asperger’s and people either knew and or didn’t know that maybe it was that?
But l think at times that some people also as the quote above displays use a form of strategy known as ‘deliberately misunderstanding you ‘on purpose’ to make you either look stupid or become flustered. Of course others find that misunderstanding you can be used as humour … l am not adverse to a bit of friendly jovial banter achieved through this.
I have very few friends in real life as in outside the bubble here at home or away from online platforms and it doesn’t bother me. Not having many friends doesn’t cause me to weep uncontrollably in the corner of some room, l simply don’t need a lot of friends to function and can keep myself more than a little occupied with other things that don’t need people. As l like to say …
Less People You Know, Less Shit You Have
…. l say this because, l am seemingly misunderstood by so ‘many’ people at times, that by not mixing with them on a regular basis is just way easier … at least you’re not misunderstood!
I have lost friends [huh friends!] because they have misunderstood me as a person, which they have accused the Asperger’s directly because of it. I don’t agree with that, l am a very open person, but at my own concession l can come across as both confusing and perplexing inthe same breath at times. I am also very honest, l don’t lie because l am terrible at lying, and don’t honestly see the point to lies. By lying l mean real nasty lies, l don’t mean little white lies to preserve a situation [although l suck at those as well!!]. But because l am very open and very honest seemingly people have problems with this and they then throw in the term, “I don’t understand you!!”
Which can be very confusing admittedly, that people still fail to understand me when l am being brutally honest. Personally, l think this is a falsehood and part of this so called ‘deliberately misunderstanding you ‘on purpose’ strategy that people are quick to adopt when caught on the hop, or you have caught ‘them’ out!
People constantly say they misunderstand me as a person because of my Aspergers, because of the way l act, or speak or just be! It’s probably a case of mixed signals. The reasons l am so often misunderstood or misinterpreted and so on are usually …
Through my spoken word – l try when ever and where ever possible to say exactly what l mean and mean what l say, but occasionally my body language portrays differently to some people. But still …
Through my written word – yes at times l can understand that misunderstanding, it’s something l have internal conflicts over and more a case of literally My Aspergers Brain vs. My Neuro brain. I see things differently with one side of my brain in comparison to the other side of the brain – usually it is a case of l place my words gramatically in different line ups to how others might do so in a sentence, mostly it is unimportant but occasionally it has caused problems.
My behaviours – traits of my personality conflict with how people see me behave – so their natural assumption instead of purely asking for clarity is to further assume that l am being ‘offish’ with them, whereas l might be simply offish with something in the environment.
My sociality – l can be very social, in fact l am more socially confident than many others, more so than Suze as an example but just because l am able to speak to strangers and treat them all as equals isn’t a bad thing and yet in the past people have said that l am being too friendly? [No winning with society at times l feel!]
My speaking vs another’s listening skills – I don’t think l have an odd way of speaking but others have implied there is something wrong with the way l speak … l can’t explain it much more than that, l try to speak clearly and not mumble, and others mumble instead of speak clearly and l struggle with hearing what they are saying, then the mumblers say that l am just being awkward and they can’t understand me?
My hyperfocus – a lot of people struggle with this trait of mine. If l am focused , l am hyperfocused on achieving results – it’s that simple – why do something only half heartedly and yet, l have had people throw at me the term again of misunderstanding me and my ability to pay attention to them.
My silence – just because l have a mouth, and have the ability to speak, doesn’t always mean l just speak all the time about absolute sweet F all as so many do these days. So there are times when l opt for silence over unnecessary waffling! BUT, once more apparently this causes a whole lot of misunderstanding!
But these are my main areas where people are oft prone to misunderstanding me, how about you?
We are infected by our own misunderstanding of how our own minds work.
What do people constantly misunderstand about you?