Depth Awakening

Depth Awakening

It’s been a strange old week,
With so much upheaval and discovery,
Who’dave thought, that a straggling comment,
Would have set such cogs awhirring?
Not l, oh no not l,

………. and yet, it did just that,
It made me think deep,
To forgotten times,
…. to vaults hidden beneath my brow ….
I didn’t see that coming,

Some vaults are best left be,
Or are they?
Are they simply pushed to one side?
Or have they been hidden for good reason?

Why did l bury them …
What was l running from?

NO!!

Who was l running from?

Only in this last week,
Has my heart awoken and looked deep,
Into the yesterdays,
Of haunted times in the haze,
It’s taken me all this time, to see,
But where have l been,
…. In this last year,
Backward thoughts hidden deep in fear,
But l have awoken again and …
… I face them head on …
I don’t understand why you did what you did?
Life could have been so very different!
If only you had been where you were supposed to be
But you were never there!

How can just the merest of comments awaken so much deep within one’s soul?
Ripping apart the smallest of tears to a yawning hole!
But it did, it started an avalanche of emotion,
Mental angst and commotion!
Of realisation ..
… and of elation,
That burden so profound,
Was lifted from an open wound,
That had lain hidden deep inside my mind,
Vaulted so as to not deal even more unkindness,
To vulnerability l knew not was present…
… and yet it displayed the discontent,
I had felt for all of these years,
These fears
Of mine, that you set into the foundation ..

…of the very creation
……….you sought,
Within thoughts of when young minds,
Learning and absorbing are left behind!

No more, l am done!
I am me again,
A small comment opened me up again,
Making me see something l haven’t seen in years,
Due to the fears,
The lost tears,
It’s strange how this world of ours works,
In mysterious ways….
But no more, not from me, no more troubled minds,
They are now being left behind,
I am done,
Sadly so are you too,
You have held me back for way too long!

© Rory Matier 2019

Raw to be rewritten

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