The Positive Brain …
… The Unhealthy Realities of 100% Positivity
The Days of Merrgh!
I woke up this morning at 6.30am – what have l achieved today?
Shall l tell you?
More or less fuck all!!
There is no polite way to write it – l could lie and say ‘Oh well l was reading, l studied, l, l, l and more bollocks like that!”
But that is lying.
Was it intentional to achieve sweet fuck all today?
No, not at all! I had a lot planned in for today!
But of the 100% planned l am not even sure if l have achieved even 10%.
I have disappointed myself!
I had better expectations for myself than this!
I knew l could do better!
It’s not that l haven’t achieved stuff, l have – JUST NOT what l set out to achieve!
I started this post long before l finished it and by that l mean this was originally to be a quick 60 minute prep post – it took me much longer to finish it!!
Let’s step back to this morning at 6.30am shall we? How did l feel then?
Well l knew l was in a bad mood in the first ten seconds. I asked myself where l was on the Neutralism scale? Bad news, l was literally on the 35% mark, l was in a real negative attitude! I asked myself why?
I was able to answer pretty quickly – l had slept badly, plus with all the exercises l am currently doing for my arm and shoulder, l was in some discomfort, and furthermore, despite getting to bed at the early time of midnight the previous night, l hadn’t finished all of my post dateds! The one l hadn’t finished was for the 9.55am slot. Okay, so no biggie, don’t sweat it.
I got up and l walked Scrappy. Suze is still off with her medical problem, and this meant that my daily routine would be broken somewhat, but it was no biggie. Suze was off sick yesterday also, and my day was only marginally disrupted ….
I started work this morning at 8.00am and l was in a pretty good position of N=50%, but l didn’t do my next day prep nor make a daily action plan like l normally do, because l had been thinking of something very early this morning and figured that IT might be the answer to something else l was looking for with regards Time and schedules. I unwittingly worked on that for 4 hours until l achieved the success l was seeking?? But in performing this, l had delayed my day by 4 hours! My N=50% slinkied down to around 40% and from that point onwards l started to play catch up to my preset 12 hour day!
Of course, l could not achieve the same level of work because l was already 4 hours down on my day!
I also helped Suze in the garden for an hour, despite me telling her for her chest’s sake she shouldn’t be hurting herself further – but there is NEVER any telling her! I have been struck by small distractions all day since coming into the office at 8am. Some of my own, but mostly not! Once distractions start in earnest, l notice that they tend to simply acquire more momentum until they stop themselves!
So for most of today l have been stuck in a classic Day of Merrgh [Bad day of negativity] l simply couldn’t recover from it and here l am with a totally wasted day at the end of my fingertips! I am about as far removed from motivation and positivity as l could be.
Now l could go on about this subject, but l don’t see the point – l am not in a bad mood with anyone except me, currently l am about N=60%. I don’t expect it to rise much higher than that today, not being a pessimist, just a realist!
Thirty years ago, my old trainer Dian Merrgh would have told me to stop fucking about, that there is no such thing as negativity and that it was all in the head. That the last thing you needed to display to anyone else were your weaknesses! She would further insist that negativity was NOTHING to worry about! That if you felt down , all you had to do was swallow it up and pretend you were 100 positive – because that is what people want to see!
I didn’t buy and bite into the sales training pitch anymore back then than l would today – l didn’t believe it all and figured that trainees needed to understand more about people, honesty and emotions.
What l disagreed with the most from back then – is that ‘People can be 100% positive ALL the time even when they are NOT!!” Well that’s absolute bollocks l remember saying that to my boss one afternoon, and l remember the following morning waking up to the reality that l had been fired because of that viewpoint!
I call extreme negative days “The Days of Merrgh!”
The secret to the Days of Merrgh is to know what causes the negativity in the first place? To then reverse engineer it, as in walk backwards from the problem, breaking it down as you go and try and root out where the breaks basically began?
None of us can be 100% positive all day every day, it simply isn’t sustainable and those that pretend to be are simply not being honest with themselves.
For me, as l have said before each day l usually start at around the N=50% mark and by the end of each day l am close to N+90%. One day out of every three to four months however l struggle to maintain any kind of positivity. Those negative days can be hard, but they are there for a reason and as annoying as they prove to be – the beauty of having them, helps to keep you balanced.
Facing your negativity head on enables you to correctly identify the problems for future reference. The negativity is simply the other side to your positivity, as light has dark and ying has yang these are needed to balance each other out and should not always be treated as an enemy rather as a mentor.
By tackling the negativity head on you will ultimately be left feeling more refreshed and energised ….. however, if you fail to perform that task and try and combat it by forcing yourself to become more positive, then all you are really doing is repressing the negative energies with false positive vibes! That’s never going to work and can create a huge meltdown!
So many people at times simply think by pushing the negative vibes away from them it is the only way to handle negative energies – when in reality that is the worst thing to ever do!
Points to Remember
Respect negativity equally as much you do positivity and work with it rather than against it!
Being a pessimist is NOT a bad thing to be! [Just not every day!]
Face your fears and ask questions of yourself – dig deep!
Acknowledge your weaknesses, don’t ignore them!
Accept you are not perfect but only human and that you too have limitations.
That there will be good days and bad days and that’s alright!
That it is OK to not be Ok all the time!
To be realistic with who you are and not expect too much from yourself!
That NOT everything bad is always bad, but there as a pointer to take note of and learn from!
I decided to reverse engineer how l was feeling today and see what l would come up with?
I found several things on my journey …
1] Sometimes my Asperger’s forgets that l am only bloody human and NOT a robot!!
2] That l do not have two brains, only one and l need to remember that and stop being so hard on myself!
3] To acknowkedge small daily wins [Walking Scrappy, Make lunch for Suze and help her in the garden, sorting out the time schedule problem to 100% success, working alongside the negativity to find the result required, working through the negativity and completing this post]
4] Understanding that routines can change and learn to be more flexible,
5] Learn to be more adaptive to distractions!!
6] Learning to accept that l too have weaknesses, acknowledge them and work on them to turn them into strengths.
7] To hug everyone in the house once this is posted and apologise for being a bear with a sore head!!
So sure, here we are at the end of this post, way , way , way later than l would have liked it to be. It was originally to be slotted into 4.25pm post dated slot, and l had to put a poem in there instead. But l slowed down, and stopped being so angry with myself and the world around me and took some deep breaths and basically told myself that’“It’s no biggie! There are far worse things you could be experiencing than a bad day, so get on with it!!”
I worked through this post, l knew l had to, if l had walked away, it would have been left and l would still be in a seriously bad mood – l am not overjoyed at losing a day to my negativity, but it happens – there were underlying problems beneath the surfaces that needed sorting out and addressing. I have addressed them, and now l know where l need to work to improve!
The thing is this, everyone suffers from and has and experiences negativity at one time or another – the secret is to accept that we do, and not treat it like it never happens! Face the negativity head on, tell it NO, learn from it, feed from it and turn it into positivity for ourselves!
Thanks for reading
So, when you have a negative day – how do you tackle it ?